Bliss Warrior

WHY I CREATED THIS BLOG

“I finally wrote a blog that the straight girls hated.  I always post my blogs in a couple of places - on my commercial site, myspace and this site, thisisby, for writers.  As far as I can tell, the writer site is just straight folks, and because they are writers, they can be a bit snobby at times.  I rarely get comments on any of my posts that deal with bisexuality (they like the blogs about vegetarianism) and if I do, it’s usually men who write.  But after I posted my last blog, tons of comments from straight girls started flooding in and they were devastating.  They didn’t just hate the post, they hated me.”

“What did you write about that got them so upset,” asks my luminous redheaded friend, Amanda.

“It was her post on can group sex get your guy to clean the house,” says Karin.  I had emailed Karin a few days before when the negative comments started pouring in and she helped pull me out of a potential depression with a supportive email.

“What did they say,” Amanda asks.

“Well, I made the mistake of adding the sub-header, ‘A New Feminism’, to the post.  The straight girls did NOT like that.  They said things like, ‘This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read,’ ‘You would still have to ASK him to clean if a lover was coming over so this is not feminism,’ ‘you’re manipulating other women and that’s not feminist,’ and many more comments agreeing that my blog post was the most ridiculous and inane thing they had ever read.”

“Oh, honey,” Amanda says.

“The morning the comments started rolling in, I was devastated.  There’s nothing worse than waking up, turning on your computer and then BAM!  Hate pours out of the computer.  I thought it was just a funny little light post.  I had no idea the straight girls would get so upset.”

“Something in your post really threatened them,” says Karin, and a dark curl falls elegantly over one eye.

“I guess so,” I say as I sip my tea cooler.  “The good side of all of this is it made me realize how safe the Bliss Warrior community has made me feel.  When I first started this blog, I was very careful of the words I chose and how I described being bi because I wanted straight readers to feel unthreatened.  After a year and a half of writing and having readers support the work, I forgot how vulnerable we bi-girls really are.  The community made me feel protected and safe.”

“We aren’t safe,” says Karin.

“No,” I say.  “But it is easier to expose ourselves when we have good friends who understand and can help us when we feel attacked.  That is why I created this blog, so each day we could feel a little safer to be our true selves.  That’s why all the negative comments I now see as a good thing.  For the first time ever, I freaked out the straight girls and the experience reminded me to feel so much gratitude for the Bliss Warrior community.”

Our conversation moves away from the blog, and as I sip my tea in the Autumn sun, I am also grateful for the two beautiful bi friends I have made because of Bliss Warrior.  I silently remind myself what a gift it is to belong to a community who loves you for who you are and supports you when the outside world is against you.

XOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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I AM THINKING OF HAVING A BRUNCH IN LOS ANGELES ON SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19TH.  LET ME KNOW IF YOU ARE INTERESTED AND IF THAT IS A GOOD DAY TO GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND MEET A BI-GIRL FRIEND.