Soldier Girls

ASK MISS BLISS: WHY IS MY STRAIGHT BEST FRIEND FLIRTING WITH ME?

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

Everyone thinks I’m a straight girl.  No one knows that I think about being with girls at all, and that makes my situation even more confusing. I have this best friend who jokes with me all the time about us being lovers and having threesomes with this guy I’ve been trying to get with. She does it publicly and every time we hang out. She always tells me she loves me and that sort of thing. She, like me, says she’s straight but I’m not 100% sure she is…  What should I do?

-Lost & Lusting

Dear Lost & Lusting,

There are two kinds of “straight” girls who joke about having sex with their girlfriends publicly:  bi-curious girls and straight-girl-teases.

BI-CURIOUS GIRLS:
Bi-curious girls joke about making out with their friends because they are too scared or too intimidated to actually make a move.  Since they are not completely sure they are bi, they are even more unsure you are.  By joking around, they can test the waters and see if you are interested.  If you aren’t, they can just say, “God, I was only kidding,” and pretend the whole thing didn’t happen.  If you seem interested, however, they may continue teasing you until (hopefully) you make the first move and actually plant a kiss on those pouty lips.

STRAIGHT-GIRL-TEASES:
Straight-girl-teases drive bi-girls (and lesbians) crazy.  They flirt publicly with women to gain the attention of men.  They have no desire to sleep with their girlfriends, but want others to think they do to make themselves feel powerful.

Katy Perry’s song, “I Kissed A Girl,” is despised by many bi-girls because it celebrates the straight-girl-tease.  Perry sings, “I kissed a girl just to try it / I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it.”  She isn’t kissing the woman because she desires her; she is doing something to be “naughty.”

Another way girl-teases try to impress others is by loudly stating they are into threesomes and group sex, even though they have not yet had any of those experiences. If your friend is a straight-girl-tease, she’d probably run for the hills if you responded by saying, “Awesome!  Let’s get a hotel room, my boyfriend, and make love all night long.”

HOW CAN YOU KNOW IF YOUR FRIEND IS A BI-CURIOUS GIRL OR A STRAIGHT-GIRL-TEASE?

1.  TELL HER YOU’RE BI
When you come out to your friend, there is no more pretense.  She has to either stop flirting with you (if she’s a girl-tease) or the two of you will make your relationship sweeter (if she’s also a bi-girl).  Of course, this means you may freak her out, but if she’s truly your friend, knowing who you really are will be important to her.

2.  CALL HER BLUFF
The next time she starts publicly going on and on about how much she desires you, why not go up to her and say, “Why don’t we show everybody how bi we are?”  If she’s a girl-tease, this will guarantee she stops flirting with you in front of friends.  If she is bi, you may just enjoy an outrageously public display of affection, and who wouldn’t want that?

It’s really that simple.  After your friends know you are bi, bi and  bi-curious girls will come to you.  When you live in the truth of your sexuality, you not only show others how wonderful it is to be living honestly, but you will also attract women who are ready to share the love you (and your boy) have to offer.

XOXOXOXO
BLISS
***********************
Dearest Readers, Thank you so much for the sweet e-mails encouraging me to continue blogging.  The last four months have been chock full of change for me which, sadly, did not leave a lot of time for writing.  Luckily, my life has calmed down considerably and I am grateful to be able to dive back into the dramatic and inspiring world of bi-girls.  XOXOXO BLISS

{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Aundrea October 8, 2009 at 7:08 am

Ohh how I missed you and your Blogs. This one is VERY helpful! Be well and take care. XOXOXO :)

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Voilet October 8, 2009 at 9:14 am

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This ones great! I missed you too!

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Kittie{Team TorTus} October 8, 2009 at 7:59 pm

I missed you!! This blog was very helpful. Thank you for such wonderful advice!!!

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Valexia October 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm

this is interesting! thank you miss bliss.

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Diana October 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm

Welcome back Bliss!! I’m so glad to see you back and blogging–I’ve missed you and all your wonderful and extremely helpful insights and advice. This was very thought provoking. That part about straight girls wanting to gain the attention of men and making themselves feel powerful—wow, that explains a lot. Thank-you for an explanation I definitely needed to hear! It’s that much harder when you fall for one of those straight women that pretend to be interested….Take care and love and blessings to you. xoxo

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Dragon October 10, 2009 at 9:25 am

Welcome back! I..m so happy you..re blogging again — finally, something on the internet to look forward to!
Love from Seattle.

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Shawndea in Wonderland October 14, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Thank you, I found this one to be very helpful. I have a new friend who is kinda of doing the same thing, but claims to be straight.

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Devildoll October 14, 2009 at 1:31 pm

Welcome back, Miss Bliss. You were sorely missed..xoxo!!!

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Just Gigi October 18, 2009 at 11:49 am

I haven’t read your blog in awhile and always enjoy it immensely. I had a lot of feelings about this one having known many of these gals. I could share dozens of stories but I am not sure anyone really cares…but anyway this esp. hit home b/c I just experienced a “straight girl tease” a cpl of nights ago. This girl was acting very into me & like she wanted something to happen btwn us but it was in front of a guy(who happens to be bi himself but that’s another story)…for various reasons though I didn’t take the bait, partly b/c I knew she was straight & was confused by the situation(also she wasn’t even really my type)..but then after the guy told me that she wasn’t into me & was only doing it to try & turn him on. It didn’t upset me b/c like I said I wasn’t really into her either but I have had many experiences as I mentioned where I WAS into the girl & was hurt by a similar situation…so having just experienced that & then reading this was good timing for me. I will also add I am one of those girls who hates that Katy Perry song And last but not least..(sorry this is so long already)…I have to disagree w/ you on one point..in the “call her bluff” part at the end you say…”The next time she starts publicly going on and on about how much she desires you, why not go up to her and say, “Why don’t we show everybody how bi we are?” If she’s a girl-tease, this will guarantee she stops flirting with you in front of friends”…I think just the opposite..if she is a girl tease & is doing it to get attention I think she might very well keep flirting or even take it a step further publicly…to get more attention. Just my opinion…curious as to what others think.

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Gryphon November 25, 2009 at 5:56 pm

I’ve been off on my own adventures and just decided to check back into the Bliss world… I have missed your straightforward posts, my dear Bliss! (don’t mind the irony of me calling you “straight”forward – tee hee!)

- G from T.O.

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