ASK MISS BLISS – HOW DO I KNOW IF A GIRL LIKES ME?

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

I have known I was bisexual since I was 9 years old and realized I had a crush on my best friend. I am now 22 and really want to have my first experience with a girl, but I just don’t know how to make it happen. If a girl was interested in me, how would I know? What are the signs that a girl likes you? I know when a man wants me, but can never tell when a girl does. And, if a girl does like me, how do I take it to the next level?

Thanks,
Needing Help With Girls

Dear Needing Help,

Last week I was in New York, lunching with the stunning and smart, guest blogger, V., and we were just talking about this. Her long, blonde curls draped around her slim shoulders as she said, “I don’t get these girls who are never hit on by women. I don’t do anything and girls come on to me all the time.”

“Well, you are (1) incredibly gorgeous,” I say, “and (2) you only hang with lesbians.”

“That’s true,” she says with a deep, sexy laugh. “I guess that would make the odds of girls hitting on me a bit higher than the average girl.”

“I think it’s hard for some girls to find female lovers because they aren’t comfortable being the aggressor in the relationship. Many bi-girls are used to men making the moves and feel incredibly awkward hitting on another girl. I think once they have dated one girl, it becomes much easier to find other lovers.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“For some, it’s just knowing that they can find a girl they like and this gives them confidence to find other lovers or girlfriends. For others, they can ‘read’ girls better after having had a successful connection. Once they were with a girl, it’s like they can suddenly see the vibes bi-girls give off and instinctively know who is approachable.”

“It’s sad that it’s so hard for so many girls to find lovers.”

“Well, that’s why we write, love. To share some of the secrets that we’ve learned to help those sweet curious bi-girls.”

WAYS TO FIND THAT FEMALE LOVER

1. THROW A PARTY AND SEE WHO LINGERS AT THE END OF THE NIGHT
My fabulous blue-eyed, blonde vixen friend, Nikita is in a relationship and has no trouble finding girls to bring into their thing. She swears that one of the best ways to figure out who is interested in her and her man is to throw a party. “I always make sure my friends know I am bi. I don’t hide it. So, I’ve noticed that whenever I throw a party, if a girl is interested in us, she will hang out until the very end, when everyone else has left. Sometimes, we are shocked because it’s the straightest-seeming girl who’s game at the end of the night! If she wants one more drink after everyone else has gone, you can pretty much bet she’s asking you to seduce her.”

2. INVITE CUTE GIRLS OVER FOR A SWIM
Another beautiful brunette bi friend of mine says her swimming pool does all of the seducing for her. “When I am into a girl, I invite her over to my place. After a drink or two, I smile at her and say, ‘Want to go for a swim?’ Naturally, she says, ‘I would, but I don’t have a swim suit.’ That’s when I say, ‘Why do you need a suit? I’m not wearing one.’ Once we’re in the pool, she’s all mine!”

3. IF YOU AREN’T AFRAID OF REJECTION, MAKE THE FIRST MOVE AT A BAR
A couple of years ago, I met a bi-girl who was studying to get her M.A. in Education. Sporting long, muscular legs and a sweet light brown bob, she says it’s easy to find bi lovers – as long as you don’t mind rejection. “I just go up to cute girls in bars and tell them I think they are beautiful. If that doesn’t scare them, I order us both drinks, chat awhile, then ask her straight up if she’d like to go home with me. Once I got over the fear that I might be turned down, I was shocked by how many girls said, yes.”

4. PLACE SOME SEXY GIRL-GIRL PICTURES IN KEY PLACES IN YOUR APARTMENT
A couple of hot girl-girl pictures or pictures of pin-ups placed in your bedroom, or the bathroom, can give girls the signal that you are open to being approached. Let them figure out your sexuality through your art and see if they don’t end up lingering later, waiting for you to kiss them.

5. ALCOHOL CAN STILL HELP YOU WITH CONFIDENCE ISSUES
Many first kisses and sexual experiences happen with the assistance of alcohol. A few good drinks can knock out inhibitions and help you feel more confident. But be careful not to overindulge. It would be horrible to finally find a female lover only to end up sick in the bathroom most of the night.

6. WATCH SEXY MOVIES LIKE GIA, THE HUNGER, ETC.
Invite a friend you have a crush on to watch a movie with you that has some hot girl-girl scenes. Gia is a great one, because Angelina Jolie is stunningly naked throughout the movie, and the sex scenes are truly hot. (For other hot Sapphic films, CLICK HERE) See how your friend reacts. If she gets really, really quiet, know that she may be really, really turned on. If she doesn’t like it, I am sure she will let you know. Either way, it will help you gauge if there is connection there.

7. POST AN AD ON CRAIGSLIST
I still highly recommend posting on Craigslist. For one, it gives you an opportunity to describe exactly what you are seeking and why. Second, it allows you a chance to get to know a potential lover through e-mail before meeting. And, three, no matter what you might think, bi-girls read CL and do answer ads. CL has brought so many magical bi-girls into my life that I will always recommend it.

8. LOOK FOR KEY SIGNS: EYE CONTACT, TOUCHING YOU, WANTING TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU, JOKING ABOUT HOOKING UP

Remember that girls are not used to being the aggressors in relationships. They will give you signals letting you know they want you to flirt with them. Watch for direct eye contact or little touches from her. Is she touching you a lot? Chances are, she wants you to touch her more. When you go out and it’s time to go home, does she try to make plans with you for the next day? If she wants to see you 2 or more days in a row, she’s probably interested, too. And, finally, if she jokes about you two kissing or hooking up, she’s also testing the waters. Take a joke as a sign that she is interested, and wants you to confirm that you are attracted to her, as well.

9. REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF AND THE RIGHT GIRL WILL FIND YOU
It’s simple advice, but the most important in the end. The more you love yourself, the sexier you will be and the more likely she will find you.

XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR

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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:
ASK MISS BLISS – WHY WON’T SHE MEET ME FOR A DATE?
ASK MISS BLISS – A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS – THE ART OF FLIRTATION
ASK MISS BLISS – HE DOESN’T BELIEVE I’M COMMITTED

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GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Amanda July 9, 2008 at 5:17 pm

This is so helpful. Thank you. I’ve never been the shy type with guys but the only time I’ve had opportunities with girls are the ones who hit on me.

Reply

NMBigirls July 9, 2008 at 5:18 pm

You always have the best advice! Thank you for doing what only you do best!!! xoxo

Reply

the comeback kid July 9, 2008 at 5:18 pm

You really are such a dear abby Ms. Bliss. Thank you so much for existing! I remember reading your blog once and felt so inspired by them that I decided to go to a bar all by myself to find a connection. You really know how to make a woman feel powerful. Hugs and kisses from Miami :)

Reply

chaotic girl July 10, 2008 at 4:04 pm

That is soo funny you mentioned craigslist..thats basically how I found you doll! xoxo

Reply

Julie July 11, 2008 at 8:53 am

excellent advice, as usual, “dear abby” bliss!
the world works in amazing ways if you let it.
xoxo
j

Reply

The Porn Librarian July 15, 2008 at 4:42 am

If certain girls don’t look at you,
It means that they like you a lot.
If other girls don’t look at you,
It just means there ignoring you.

But as Dan Bern said, the only way to know is to ask them if they like you or if they’re ignoring you…

Reply

Miss Honey July 15, 2008 at 9:18 am

Wonderful and very practical advice. :) I shared my first kiss recently at a bar with such a cute girl. Sighhh… problem was… #5… while it did help her with that first kiss, she did continue to drink to excess, sloppy drunk isn’t attractive on even the cutest girl.

Reply

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