ASK MISS BLISS – SHE’S MAD BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND AND I WENT ALL THE WAY

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

I know you’re extremely busy, but I would be very interested to get some advice from you. I have been with my girlfriend for about five months now and things were going great until a couple days ago when she emailed me an angry letter:

“You sleeping with my boyfriend was NOT part of the deal. Obviously, the two of us didn’t talk about this before I had you come over. He said if I found a girl I liked enough to be my girlfriend that he didn’t mind. He said he’d enjoy watching, which I didn’t mind. I also wouldn’t have minded if he just played with you only using his hands and tongue. No weiner allowed! After you left the other night, I told him I felt horrible that he would actually have ‘sex’ with someone else. He told me to deal with it or you aren’t allowed over.”

She has a boyfriend and yes, all three of us had sex with one another. I preferred only to be with her, but I thought that it was just the agreement they had with each other, so I dealt with it. Well, now, after five months, she comes back and says she never wanted that to happen and the only way I can come over there is if he can have me, as well. So I don’t know what to do. I love her but I don’t want her to be upset because he wants to have sex with me, too.

Thanks for listening,
Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught in the Middle,

1. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
First, you did everything right. To be with her, you had to be with her boyfriend, too. Even though you preferred to have her all to yourself, you understood she was in a relationship and tried to respect their rules.

2. COUPLES NEED TO DIRECTLY COMMUNICATE THEIR “RULES” TO THEIR LOVER BEFORE PROBLEMS ARISE

As your lover wrote, she and her boyfriend did not clearly discuss what was “part of the deal” before you came over. She did not tell him or you that she was uncomfortable with penetration. If she had, I am certain you would not have gone anywhere near his “weiner.” But she didn’t, and seems to blame you for not reading her mind and stopping the intercourse from happening. This is her fault and if she is angry, she should be angry at herself for not communicating her needs better.

3. CAN YOU BE WITH THEM AND NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HIM?
According to her letter, the two of them want something different. She wants to continue having threesomes, just without you and the boyfriend having intercourse. It seems he wants the sex to continue as it is. Obviously, dear reader, you have a problem. If being with her is important to you, it seems you cannot aggravate the situation by having intercourse with him. However, before you are with them again, you need to clearly tell them both that you do not want to continue having sexual intercourse with him because you do not want to cause tension or jealousy in their relationship.

4. WHAT IF HE STILL WANTS INTERCOURSE DURING THE NEXT THREESOME?
If you clearly communicated to them that you cannot have sexual intercourse during your encounters and he tries to have sex with you again, you may have to end the relationship with both of them. If he can’t respect her wishes or yours, you do not want to be involved with this couple. Sadly, if he acts badly she may just blame you. Some girls will always blame the “other” girl before focusing her anger on her man – even if he deserves it! If this is the case, it may be time to find a new, drama-free girlfriend.

5. NEVER, EVER HAVE SEX WITH A MAN JUST TO BE WITH HIS GIRL
I know that it can be very hard to find a female lover who you adore. When that girl is attached to a man, it is incredibly important to remember that you never have to be with her man if you do not want to be. I have heard some bi-girls say that they will “take one for the team” to be with a girl (meaning they will sleep with the boyfriend even when she does not want to.) Sexual intercourse is a sacred, loving ritual and should only be shared with partners you truly adore. Do not have sex with him just to be with her. It will only bring you drama.

OXXOXOXOXOOX
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING OTHER ASK MISS BLISS COLUMNS:
ASK MISS BLISS – A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS – A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
ASK MISS BLISS – MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
ASK MISS BLISS – WHAT TO DO WITH UNEXPRESSED DESIRES
ASK MISS BLISS – TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
ASK MISS BLISS – MY BOYFRIEND’S PUSHING HARD FOR A THREESOME

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GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM

{ 3 trackbacks }

Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS - BI AND TIRED OF BEING PRESSURED INTO THREESOMES
November 17, 2008 at 8:47 am
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS - HOW DO I TELL MY FRIENDS THAT MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
December 9, 2008 at 1:46 pm
ASK MISS BLISS - MY GIRLFRIEND’S USING COKE AND LYING ABOUT IT
June 1, 2009 at 4:53 pm

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

D. Vicious July 16, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Love it, great advice as always!

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