NOT SEEKING BARBIE – Tales from the San Diego Brunch

by Miss Bliss

“You know why they flag your posts on Craigslist,” says a fetching brunette wearing dark sunglasses. “Because you are a real girl. Craigslist will post the most outrageous fake stuff from some creepy guy pretending to be a girl – but if you actually are a woman? Flagged right away!”

Twenty-two bi and bi-friendly women came together for brunch in San Diego on a warm Saturday in July. Unfortunately for me, I got stuck in four hours of Comic-Con traffic on Interstate 5 and arrived right when the bill was being passed around. Luckily for me, half of the girls offered to extend the afternoon by having a drink a block and a half away in a dive bar. We are out back on the patio, musing on why our ads keep getting flagged on Craigslist.

“I think it’s unhappy lesbians,” I say. “They have so much hostility towards bi-girls and don’t think we should be posting on w4w. I wish Craig would make a section for just bi personals.”

“It’s not lesbians,” says the brunette emphatically. “It’s Craigslist’s aversion to REAL ads from REAL girls that is the problem.”

“I think the second anyone sees ‘bi’ in an ad, it gets flagged. I could not keep an ad about this brunch up for more than five minutes without it being taken down, no matter how much I begged for it not to be flagged.”

“But I didn’t have bi or bisexual anywhere in my ad,” the brunette says. “I wrote the sweetest, most normal ad ever. Seriously! I titled it ‘Not Seeking Barbie’, and wrote that I was a girl looking for a non-plastic real girl. The sweetest most genuine ad ever! Not seeking Barbie! I described myself and what I was looking for – followed all the rules for a w4w post and NEVER mentioned I was bi. Five seconds later, it’s flagged!”

“And the creepiest, grossest, obviously fake ads where some guy is seeking three women to stick live animals up his behind never get flagged,” laughs a tall gorgeous redhead.

“Oh, you saw my ad,” jokes the brunette and the two of them laugh.

“Have you written to Craigslist and asked them why your post was flagged,” asks our sweet hostess with cropped hair.

“I have tried,” I say, “but they send you to this completely unhelpful page where a ‘flagging’ expert is supposed to write you back, but they make it so cryptic it’s like you are just supposed to get frustrated and give up.”

“So what do we do if we can’t post on Craigslist,” asks another pretty girl in polka dots.

The conversation moves again to various topics: pride, lesbian-bi tension, dating girls, turning straight girls… We laugh and talk and once again, I am amazed and delighted by the magical openness of bi women. Their sexual power, friendliness, joy and exuberance.

I turn to our hostess and event organizer and say, “Isn’t it amazing how far your group has come in less than a year?”

She smiles and says, “We are up to 100 members now. It is truly amazing! And look at what you’ve accomplished this year, too – the blog, the hotel, the cities you’ve visited…”

I smile at her and thank her for being the leader she is. Even with the frustrations we experience with Craigslist, we are slowly finding each other and for the first time, organizing.

“Next year,” the redhead announces, “we are going to have a Bliss Warrior float in San Diego Pride. It’s time to bring the real party to pride!”

I hug her and the many new friends I have made and slowly prepare myself for the drive back to LA.

HAVE YOU HAD A CRAIGSLIST POSTING FLAGGED? TELL ME ABOUT IT!

WHY DO YOU THINK IT WAS FLAGGED?

XOXOXOXOOX
BLISS WARRIOR

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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING ABOUT OTHER BLISS BRUNCHES:
WHY INVITING BI-GIRLS TO BRUNCH IS THE BEST
FROM TOMBOYS TO FAB FEMME GIRLS – TALES FROM TORONTO, PART 1
GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE A BI-GIRL FRIEND
AN ODD PLACE TO MEET A BI-GIRL
THE STRANGE FOLKS ON CRAIGSLIST
THERE IS NO “ONE-TYPE” OF BI-GIRL
SHE’S A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND SHE’S PACKIN’
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE
MY MOM OUTED ME OVER THANKSGIVING DINNER
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TOMORROW ON BLISS WARRIOR -
ASK MISS BLISS RETURNS WITH MY GIRLFRIEND’S USING COKE AND LYING ABOUT IT
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INTERESTED IN JOINING THE SAN DIEGO BISEXUAL WOMEN’S GROUP? VISIT http://lgbtfriends.meetup.com/200/
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Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » TOO YOUNG FOR MONOGAMY - Tales From the Seattle Brunch
August 11, 2008 at 7:00 am

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Lacivia August 5, 2008 at 4:55 pm

So funny, I was just talking about getting a Bliss
Warrior float in next year’s pride too!!

Wonderful women thinking alike!! I love it!!!

Reply

Kimberley August 6, 2008 at 11:01 am

I was sadden that I couldn’t attend the second brunch. I am glad that all went well. The infamous Craigslist UGH!! I used that venue for about 2 months. It was a lot of work and I must the “quality” of people was not the most desirable.

Towards the end of this so called experiment, I was getting flagged constantly and couldn’t for the life of me figure out the reason(s) why. I found out through a friend that some creepy person was using my pic for placing and responding to ads. What a mess. Craigslist didn’t take any action when I notified them even after I found out his/her email address. I am chuckling now but there was a lot of angry females in San Diego and LA. I am now “marked’ as a CREEP in that world!! :)

Reply

Ellie August 6, 2008 at 12:13 pm

My CL posts are *always* flagged no matter what I am looking for. If you don’t post a picture, you don’t get any response. If you do, I guess people assume you are spam without even reading what you wrote.

Reply

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