ASK MISS BLISS – WHERE YOUR LETTERS ARE ANSWERED

by Miss Bliss

DEAR MISS BLISS,

My issue (that’s probably too strong a word) is that my husband isn’t comfortable with me having sex with another woman without him. He’s very new to this idea and is completely motivated by his love for me and the understanding of my sexual appetite for women. His arousal of the notion is an added bonus, but not the driving force.

How do i help him understand that my desire for other women doesn’t threaten our marriage?
Are there other men who aren’t interested in their women coming home to them with the scent of feminine sex on their wives breath?

— ANONYMOUS BLISS READER

DEAR ANONYMOUS,

There are many ways to answer your letter, and there is no one clear, simple answer. Being a bigirl means that it may take a lot of conversation with your partner to decide on a way where you can be your amazing sensual powerhouse and still be a trustworthy, loving and responsible partner.

The first question is, are there bigirls who are in healthy relationships who play with girls outside of their relationship with their man? The answer is yes and no.

HAVING A GIRLFRIEND OUTSIDE OF THE RELATIONSHIP

1. Some bi-girls are in relationships with men where they are allowed to have “girlfriends” outside of the relationship. For this to work, the girl comes home from a date with her lover and explains the tryst in detail to her man so they can “relive” the sexual experience together. By telling her man all the juicy details, she can feel like a sexual goddess and he gets very, very turned-on. The jealousy the man experiences while the bi-girl is out with her lover, stimulates the man’s need to “reclaim” his girl afterwards through intense sexual connection. This can be “good jealousy”, but only if it feels good for the man to know no matter what his girl does with another woman, at the end of the day, she is home with him, in his bed, in his arms and IS his.

The downside of this, however, is the “girlfriend” may fall in love with the bi-girl (or vice-versa) and become possessive, bringing drama and pain into the mix. A way to avoid this, is to make sure your man has met your lover, they approve and respect one another, and there is no room for lies and dishonesty.

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS
2. There are some couples who decide to have open relationships where both partners can have lovers outside of the relationship. If this is something you do not want, I think it is important to reconsider having a tryst outside of your union. If you are allowed to have lovers, you are inviting your man to have lovers, as well. So, think about this long and hard: how would you feel if your husband wanted to “fool around” with a guy, and didn’t want you to be upset because “it didn’t threaten the marriage”? Or, what if he also wants a female lover to make it fair? These are some of the problems that can arise by having a lover outside of your relationship.

Darling Bliss Reader, you asked for my advice, and this is from my heart:

I only play with my husband. We have been together for fifteen years and although we are both incredibly picky, have only played with lovers we are equally attracted to. Many women have asked me over the years if I have ever desired to be with a girl on my own, and the answer is no. I share lovers with my man because the two of us share so much love between us, it would be a shame not to include another lucky soul in that emotional bliss. Sharing lovers has helped us to see one another new and we are amazed by how lucky we both are to spend our lives with another dynamic, sexy, desired human being.

I think some girls think it would be easier to be with a woman on their own, or are scared that their partner might do something in the tryst that would upset them (like ignoring them, or being too sexual with the lover too soon, etc.). Being a Bliss Warrior is about being a fearless communicator and being incredibly honest with both your partner and yourself. What are your fears keeping you from wanting to include your man? If he is not ready for you to have a lover on your own, are you ready to have a threesome with him? Think about what kind of sexual experience would be good for you to share with your man. Perhaps doing something together first will help him see that girls do not threaten your relationship, or maybe after the three of you have shared intimacy, he will want you two to be on your own.

I also tell couples to talk, talk, talk it to death before doing anything.

Your man loves you, adores you, and respects you.
Put him first and many sexual doors will open for both of you.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Bliss

SEND YOUR LETTERS TO ASK MISS BLISS AND THEY WILL BE ANSWERED!
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT THEM TO BE ANONYMOUS.

LOOKING FOR A BIGIRL TO CHAT WITH?
CHECK myspace.com/theblisswarrior FOR BI-GIRL COMMENTS OR POST ONE OF YOUR OWN.
BI-GIRLS ARE FINDING EACH OTHER ALL OVER THE WORLD!

{ 2 trackbacks }

Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS - SHE’S 12 YEARS YOUNGER & MAKING ME JEALOUS
January 17, 2008 at 7:28 am
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS - I TOLD HIM I LOVED HER
March 4, 2008 at 8:52 pm

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

RachE Ray January 9, 2008 at 8:04 pm

Seems like u have been into this scene for a while n have a handle on the dynamics. I’d love to drink some wine n talk about our experiences. Thanx for the comment! Love the Bliss Warrior concept!

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gabricadabra January 9, 2008 at 8:05 pm

this is very insightful as are the other blogs.

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