ASK MISS BLISS – ANAL PLAY IN THE JUNGLE

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

I have a couple questions for you regarding anal sex…

I have been with my boyfriend now for 5 years with a two year, lustful break. We reunited here in Maui and now live in the rainforest together like Tarzan and Jane in the Garden of Eden. We are always looking for new and exciting ways to make love and look forward to our first threesome.

Until we find the right girl to share, we’re trying new things such as anal pleasure. I love it, but I have some concerns. My mother is a clean freak and is obsessed with salmonella and botulism and everything else that can be killed with bleach. While I am tidy, I usually reject all the obsessive, compulsive cleaning my mother tried to instill in me. I like a house that’s lived in. However, now at 25, I find myself becoming more concerned with germs, especially since living in conditions conducive to mold and mildew.

Back to the subject… My nurse friend told me that the anus is a breeding ground for germs, etc. She said that anal sex can lead to bacteria infections. My question is do you have the same concerns? Do you take any “safety measures”. I am VERY reluctant to kiss/lick the area, though I would like to. Also, is it necessary to clip my fingernails to pleasure him there properly? He doesn’t seem to be totally comfortable with it yet, though he would like to be. It’s a tricky, intriguing subject for me, who would like to try everything.

–Jane in the Jungle

Darling Jane,

Before I answer your question, I want to let all blissgirls know that anal play is something you should only do with a man you love, trust, and know very well. Anal play is something your lover has to EARN. Ask yourself, does my lover treat me like a goddess? Does he put me first and make me feel worshiped and adored? If you do not feel totally and completely loved by your man, he has not earned it yet. Put yourself first and never participate in anal play with a man to try and make him love you.

Jane, you seem to have found a man who is worthy of your love and of new fabulous pleasures. So I offer you these tips on anal hygiene and anal pleasure…

TAKE A BUBBLE BATH
(1) Darling Jane, I hope your jungle comes with a bathtub because the number one way to protect against germs and icky accidents is to take a good, long, bubbly bath before sexual play. In Toni Bentley’s erotic memoir, Surrender, she describes how anal sex helped her to connect with the divine. The book is a must-read for all girls experimenting with anal. Ms. Bentley explains that before every tryst she bathes and makes sure to clean her anus with an inserted soapy finger. Not once, she writes, has a lover gotten sick or tasted waste. This is also a nice way to begin “opening” yourself up and relaxing those muscles. Like masturbating, getting comfortable touching and relaxing yourself anally will make you better prepared to please your partner.

GET A COLONIC… OR AN ENEMA
(2) If you leave the jungle for a day and go to the big city, get a colonic done. I have been to a hydrocolonic therapist three times over four years and always feel very cleaned out afterwards. If this is not possible, many of my male gay friends recommend home enema kits purchased online or at a pharmacy.

A HAND THAT TOUCHES THE ANUS SHOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER TOUCH THE VAGINA
(3) Many women do not know that if a lover touches them anally, and then uses that same hand or finger to touch them vaginally, that lover probably just gave them a yeast infection. (Yeast infections can also happen when a woman wipes from back to front, same basic concept.) This is how bacteria spreads, my dear Jane. My man taught me to be very aware of using just one hand to please a partner vaginally and the other solely anally until I had washed BOTH hands thoroughly. You can also place hand sanitizer on the night table for easy access.

WASH YOUR HANDS FREQUENTLY
(4) After anal play, I always make sure to wash my hands immediately, then return to lovemaking. This ensures no transmission of bacteria that would lead to a yeast infection. No healthy, smart partner will be offended if you tell her you need to wash your hands and you’ll be right back, especially if she is dazed from the pleasure you gave her.

GET RID OF HAIR
(5) Hair around the anus is a breeding ground for germs and for icky things lingering… I highly recommend waxing or shaving any hair that may be there before anal play. Trust me, if you are the anal “giver” you will appreciate this act of primping. If your man is not willing to shave back there, he has not EARNED your exploration yet.

CLIP AT LEAST ONE NAIL
(6) Porn star turned performance artist, Annie Sprinkle, always kept her right index fingernail clipped for anal play. Yes, it is absolutely essential to avoid entering your man or lady with long, sharp fingernails. Trust me, this will not help you open him or her up. Everything should be soft, tender loving initially, so trim those nails!

ARE THERE ANAL TOYS IN THE JUNGLE?
(7) For me, anal beads and anal vibrators are a great way to help a novice enjoy anal play. Use a lot of lube and go very slowly when inserting anything. My gay masseuse, Raymond, recommends telling your lover to push out like she’s about to go to the bathroom while you push in. (Also, true if your man is entering you anally with fingers, toys or himself.)

NEVER LET YOUR MAN ENTER YOU VAGINALLY AFTER PENETRATING YOU ANALLY
(8) This is another way to spread icky germs and can lead to yeast and bacterial infections. Take a break and get a bath together in between if you must go at it again, or use condoms during anal penetration.

CONSTANT CLIT STIMULATION IS THE KEY TO ANAL PENETRATION
(9) If your man wants to penetrate you anally, he has to TAKE HIS TIME. Not only should he use his mouth, tongue, fingers and toys, he should use his one hand that does NOT touch you anally to be CONSTANTLY PLAYING WITH YOUR CLIT.  I cannot stress this enough. The key to good anal sex is CONSTANT CLIT ATTENTION. If it hurts in any way, he has not relaxed you enough and has not EARNED it.

EATING OUT SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS MARVELOUS
(10) Jane, if your man is clean, ready, and up for it, eating him out from behind should be very much like eating out a girl. I believe good anal oral happens when you treat his opening like hers: licking around the exterior, teasing, moving your tongue up and down, penetrating the opening with your tongue. It should feel very much like giving a woman vaginal oral pleasure. It is incredibly intimate and exciting, and if done right, will blow your man’s mind.

DARLING BLISS GIRLS…
THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS AND EMAILS.
PLEASE SEND YOUR QUESTIONS AND MISS BLISS WILL ANSWER THEM.
LOVE AND BEAUTY TO ALL YOU AMAZING, LOVING, VIVACIOUS BI-GIRLS!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » NEED A LITTLE LUBRICATION?
January 8, 2008 at 11:01 am

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Brilliance January 9, 2008 at 8:45 pm

AAAHHH…Fucking great! You are a true warrior! Good luck to Jane, I am working on this one myself.

Reply

ashley January 9, 2008 at 8:45 pm

blissy b,

good advice.!!
i might add that i have had the most insane orgasms through anal penetration without any clit stimulation. anal sex has opened a whole new world for me.
i’m curious at your suggest for constant clit stimulation. i personally don’t find it necessary at all. what i do find necessary is my partners full sense of patience and willingness to stop on a dime.

another good tip is to maybe try a butt plug. it’s a good way to ease into other things and the gentlemen love it too!

Reply

Galway Girl January 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Miss Bliss,

YOU are my hero! Hilarious, always! Thank you for such a nice comment on my page too. I am SO glad I found your page. You are just super duper!

xoxoxox,
Sarah

Reply

Linda January 9, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Miss Bliss,
Your blogs are fab, and this one is no exception. However, I am compelled to point out a slight error.

Yeast infections are NOT the result of bad bacteria. Yeast infections are caused by an overgrowth of yeast. Yeast is not a bacteria, it’s a fungus. (So gross when you think about it!) Yeast infections are actually caused when your body’s good bacteria are killed off and they no longer keep your body’s yeast in check. That’s why we’re more susceptible to yeast infections after a round of antibiotics.

So, in short, yes you should not spread bacteria from your anus around, but this is because of the risk of bacterial vaginosis, not yeast infections.

Carry on….. :)

Reply

bliss warrior January 9, 2008 at 8:47 pm

Lovely, helpful Lynda,

We bliss girls thank you for your wonderful health smarts and your medical wisdom.
I am editing the blog, changing yeast infection to bacterial infection, in case girls don’t read the comments.
Can I send you questions in the future?

xoxooxxoxo
bliss

Reply

Linda January 9, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Of course, dahling. ;) I worked in an adult novelty store for a while, so I learned a few things…

Another anal tip: if you use a dildo for anal play, use a condom over it. Keeps it cleaner, and also allows you to just pull off the condom and switch to vag play. :D It’s also highly recommended that you only use toys with a flared base for anal fun. To avoid the risk of “losing” your toy in an uncomfortable place (NOT the back of a Volkswagen!)

Peace.

Reply

Kate January 9, 2008 at 8:48 pm

Anal to genital contact can introduce E. coli into places it has no business being, which can cause a urinary tract infection. That’s the main concern (unless there’s any chance your partner has Hep A or C).

After one too many infectious disease courses, my little brain has permanant engravings that say “anal to mouth spells Hep C”. You can imagine my wide eyed innocence shattered in my recent exploration of pornography — Yelling at the screen during anal to mouth scenes, dipping back and forth: “People..People! Have you ever heard of HepC!!”. I say, Check on Hepatitis status, Be Careful of crossing juices, then, by all means, find out where that door leads to…

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heather January 9, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Adventure in the jungle, indeed!! Bliss- enjoyed your balanced writing: You emphasize well the trust and safety aspects of anal play while also making it sound like something that could actually be appealing. GOod job :)

Just a quick note that although Lynda is 99% correct and it was good of her to note that the primary infection risk from anal play is bacteria (much of the bulk of our stool/poop is bacteria). However, it IS actually possible to transfer yeast from the anal area to other areas (such as la vagine). Yes, Candida (the nasty little fungi responsible for yeast infections and also sometimes resulting in “jock itch”) are able to live in other moist, warm areas beyond the vagina… including the anus. Eating yogurt that is rich in probiotics (“healthy bacteria”) can help reduce the candida, esp from your backside region.

Cheers to all you adventurous bliss warriors!

Reply

Blue January 9, 2008 at 8:49 pm

lovely Bliss. . .there’s one thing you forgot. If you do engage in uncovered anal play, it’s important for your gentleman to urinate afterward. This will clean out any bacteria that may have been forced into his urethra. I learned this one from my doc.

Thanks for informing people of the wonders of this fabulous form of play.

Reply

Rev. PLURall January 9, 2008 at 8:49 pm

Every single one of the above Goddesses make me thrilled to share space with you. Even if it’s not physical space. Just knowing you’re out there brings me plenty of bliss!

LOVE!
PLURall

Reply

mrs. creepz January 9, 2008 at 8:50 pm

i am so glad i found your blog.. !

Reply

leila January 9, 2008 at 8:51 pm

So glad I found you on nyspace. Your site is always full of useful information and topics that are amazingly relevant and right on time too. I have recently found someone worthy and without asking I received all this useful info. Thanks and keep it up Bliss!

Reply

r. January 9, 2008 at 8:51 pm

this is great. Thank you

Reply

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