ASK MISS BLISS – THE ART OF FLIRTATION

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

I’m not the most sociable person, but I’m working on getting out more. Now that I’m trying to find a girl that might be interested in me (or me and my boyfriend), I’m running into my biggest road block: flirting. My biggest problem is I tend to send the wrong signals. I don’t even realize when people are flirting with me, so I’m never sure how or when to flirt back. I’m sure when some of these things are explained to me, I’ll slap my forehead and think, “Oh… They were flirting?!”

So my question is, what are proper steps of flirting? What are the do’s and the dont’s? What’s too much, not enough, or just plain wrong? This is for flirting with other girls, as I’m happy with my boyfriend.

XOXOXOXOX,
Afraid to Flirt

Dearest Fearful Flirter…

In a writing class of mine, a lovely thin Irish girl was reading a true story about being lesbian in Los Angeles. “You can always tell when a girl is straight,” she read,”because straight girls cannot maintain eye contact.” After she finished her funny, moving piece, I came up to her and looked her straight in the eye and said I adored her work. As we were leaving the class, she gave me a folded up piece of paper with her phone number tucked neatly inside.

FLIRTING STARTS WITH THE EYES

As girls and young women, we often look away when we catch someone looking at us. To be an effective girl-flirt, however, it is time to start opening your eyes and making contact. The next time you and your boyfriend are out at a restaurant, take a moment to study the people around you. Find a girl who you think is cute. Don’t worry if she is straight or married or gay or if she’ll like you; just take a moment to appreciate a girl whose loveliness caught your eye. When she senses you are looking at her, she will look up. Do not look away. Hold her gaze and send her warmth. Watch her turn her eyes away quickly, but keep looking. Wait until you catch her looking at you again to see if you are still looking at her. If she keeps looking at you, she is flirting with you.

Another great place to practice flirting with you eyes is at a dance club. While you are dancing with your friends or your man, try to catch and hold the gaze of other dancing girls. Pretty soon, one will be coming over to dance with you.

A GOOD FLIRT GIVES TRUE COMPLEMENTS

Whenever I am out and about, I flirt with girls. Sometimes I am attracted to them, sometimes I am not. Attraction does not matter to me, because I flirt with women to make them feel appreciated and special in that moment. The key to being a good flirt (while avoiding being a transparent flatterer) is being truthful and detailed when giving complements.

For example, let’s just say you are waiting in line at the local grocery store and there is a stunning, athletic brunette waiting in front of you. It would freak her out if you said out of nowhere, “You are hot!” Plus, you would be exactly like every other creepy guys who said something like that to her that week. Take a moment and study her. What made her stand out to you? Does she have shiny, thick hair? Is she wearing the cutest top you’ve ever seen?

When she turns to grab a magazine and sees you, give her a truthful, detailed complement like, “You must be told all the time how gorgeous your hair is. Where do you get it done? I would never stop looking at myself if I had hair as pretty as yours.” Can you see the brunette blushing, mumbling a surprised thank you? Soon, she is telling you all about her fabulous hair stylist. By the time she has to pay, you have already made a foxy new friend. Plus, you feel great because you made another woman feel good.

FLIRT AND GIVE LOVE TO ALL WOMEN

Nothing feels as good as a meaningful complement from a fellow girl, and a complement with eye contact feels even better. Practice these two techniques on all women you come into contact with and you will become a practiced flirt. Eventually, you will be able to flirt effortlessly with girls you really like.

But more importantly, you will make a lot of women feel appreciated, adored, and admired. This, in my opinion, is what bigirls are on this planet to do.

XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS

IF YOU LIKED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING:
FOXY GIRLS SAY THANK YOU

BLISS GIRLS ARE SEEKING OTHER BIGIRLS FOR FRIENDSHIP AND CONVERSATION IN:
CLEVELAND
DETROIT,
SAN FRANCISCO AND
SAN DIEGO.
IF YOU ARE IN ONE OF THOSE CITIES, AND WOULD LIKE TO MEET OTHER GIRLS, EMAIL ME!
HOSTING A BLISS BRUNCH? LET ME KNOW.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

{ 5 trackbacks }

Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » MY FIRST DATE WITH A GIRL
January 4, 2008 at 6:26 am
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » MY FIRST DATE WITH A GIRL
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Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » MY FIRST DATE WITH A GIRL
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Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » WALKING HOME IN HER PANTIES
January 11, 2008 at 12:39 am
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS - MY CUTE COWORKER IS FLIRTING AND LYING
March 17, 2008 at 6:38 am

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Sweet T November 4, 2007 at 3:38 pm

Bravo!
Bliss, you always give the best advice.
And you always answer my questions before I even ask them! ;-)

I love your blog! You are awesome!!!!!!

xoxo

Reply

Stoned Fox November 4, 2007 at 3:38 pm

eye contact is sexy.

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Ivette November 4, 2007 at 3:38 pm

This is really helpful because I’ve never known how to flirt with other girls. Female flirting has always been a mystery and I’m glad I read this because this clears up a lot of unfamiliar territory. Thanks Miss Bliss!

-Ivette

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Blue November 4, 2007 at 3:39 pm

I’m a notorious flirt. And I used to manage a tool store. And one of the woodcarvers (we’ll call him Grumpypants) who used to come to our store was always very stand-offish and disapproving when he visited the store. My usual charm and flirtation just didn’t seem to work on him. Then one day he came to the store when I happened to be in the midst of flirting with a 4 year-old boy. . .we were making eyes at each other and playing peekaboo around the aisles. . .I’d just given him a little bag of raisins and was getting the hug he promised in exchange when Grumpypants came over and said “Do you just flirt with everyone?” His face was red, he seemed completely irate. I looked him in the eye, smiled my sweetest smile, and said “Yes, sir. Men, women, children and pets. I just can’t help it”. That was the turning point. He became one of my favorite customers and always had a hug and a smile for me when he came by to shop. He just needed to realized that I’m just one of those people who enjoys seeing the smiles of others.

The point to this story is that flirtation has many forms, and many levels. It’s easy to find something to like about just about anyone. It costs me nothing to share my appreciation with them, and the more joy and appreciation I can spread around, the more I seem to get coming towards me. So, I don’t hesitate to compliment, am very reluctant to criticize, and try to treat each soul like a butterfly. . .beautiful and free and infinitely fragile.

Ok, so that was a bit of a tangent. Once again, thanks for your thought-provoking blogs.

Kisses
Blue

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Sugar Flame Photography November 4, 2007 at 3:40 pm

Great advice! I looooooove to flirt too…it’s the spice of life. What I figure is, life is too short to not be real and make people feel attractive and sexy (especially if they are). I think it’s about giving people the space to feel the way we all want to feel…wanted.

Can I just say?????? YOU ROCK!!!!

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Anonymous November 4, 2007 at 3:41 pm

I’ve always wondered about this one myself….I mean I’ve been with girls but they almost had to hit me over the head to show me they were interested….I have been girlfriend-less for years – not knowing how to act or “flirt”….
Thanks for the helpful hint and I’ll try to maintain that eye contact next time :)

Reply

Lady Savant November 4, 2007 at 3:42 pm

This is such great advice. I wish I had never gotten out of the habit of looking everyone in the eyes when talking to them or looking around. I got the idea somewhere along the road in high school that it made people uncomfortable and stopped doing it. I guess it didn’t occur to me that maybe it was something they should work on being comfortable with instead of me not doing. Definitely something to work harder on for me. Thank you for reminding me how wonderful it is.

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Maggie November 4, 2007 at 3:43 pm

Good advice!
I’ve been having the same problem myself… but sometimes i look away out of insecurity…working on it though.
Gonna try to maintain the eye contact!
The eyes are pretty powerful…
Windows to one’s soul…
Sometimes scary to let others see inside such a deep abyss.

Reply

M-Shell November 4, 2007 at 3:43 pm

i really appreciate how you emphasize the importance of making other women feel good, regardless of sexual attraction…beautiful advice
xx
M

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cougar in training November 4, 2007 at 3:45 pm

this article is one that i think straight girls should read too…. they dont always understand it..im all about sharing compliments and making every woman feel special.

i look forward to your next blog…

xoxoxoxo

jj

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Miss Girl November 4, 2007 at 3:46 pm

Helpful :-)

(by the way…I’m nearish to Detroit and I’m in the Cleveland area reasonable often)

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I See You November 4, 2007 at 3:47 pm

Thank you so much! It’s all making sense now and I think now I can really get out there and start making connections!

Next time I’m out I sure will start practicing.

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Fei Fei November 4, 2007 at 3:48 pm

Well said! Thanks to the lovely Miss Bliss!!!

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GiGiPink13 January 5, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Great insight! Before I was married I used to be a notorious flirt with men. I’ve always been a little on the plump side, so many of my thinner friends would actually be surprised that I always managed to attract some really sexy men. I never had a clue as to how to flirt with women. The sad part is that since I got married, I’ve been afraid to flirt because I just wouldn’t know how to handle the situation should someone respond. Any ideas?

Reply

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