ASK MISS BLISS – MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN

by Miss Bliss

Hi, Bliss Warrior,

I’m Bi myself. I made my fantasy a reality about a year ago. Now, I am in love with a girl and I am also married to a man. I find myself really confused about just how honest I should be with my husband. I know that the only way he would ever be “okay” with it is if he is involved. I don’t think I could do that. I wish I could find an easy answer. My husband is a pilot and he is out of town all the time. I think I would go crazy without my girlfriend. The problem is that I’m not always ready to “jump into bed” with him when he gets home. In fact, I find myself less and less sexually attracted to him. SOOOOO confusing, because I have been married to him for 12 years and I always saw myself growing old with him. My girlfriend is also Bi, but she said she would live a lesbian life with me. I can’t honestly tell you what the hell I want. I envy the fact that your proud of yourself. I wish I could figure all this out. I know there is no easy answer.

–Married & Confused

Dear Married & Confused,

Some bisexual girls believe they are not cheating on their man if they have a secret affair with a girl. I have heard girls justify cheating in many ways. One friend said, “I won’t leave him for a woman, so he has nothing to worry about.” Another rolled her eyes at me and said, “Of course any experimentation with a girl would be behind his back! He’s way too conservative and would freak if he found out I was into girls.” I had one girl friend say, “But he’d want to join in and that would disrupt the goddess energy I am seeking!”

Lonely, searching, wondering bigirls…. I know some of you are seeking new physical, sensational and emotional pleasures with the opposite sex and are currently in relationships with men. But let this letter be a warning to you that love affairs with women can end just as messily as love affairs with men. Our married and confused example believed that having a girlfriend would simplify her life–while her man was out working, she could play with her girlfriend. But then fate intervened and disrupted her simple plan and she fell in love.

To think that being bisexual means that you can have a love relationship with one gender and a “strictly” sexual relationship with the other gender is naive and sexist. An affair with a woman can lead to love, which can ultimately lead to divorce, and even a new life in a bigirl-bigirl relationship. If you have children, it is especially important that you realize that cheating with a woman is just as much of a threat to your family as cheating with a man.

Married bigirls and bigirls in relationships can have girlfriends without their man’s participation, but ONLY if their men know about it and approve of it. Bliss Warrior is dedicated to ethical, healthy, and honest relating, and I will never condone lying or cheating in relationships. If you are too afraid to be honest with your man about your desires, you may need couples’ therapy, individual therapy, or a new relationship. Cheating is a sign of other problems within the primary relationship and will not solve anything in the long term.

1. ASK YOUR PARTNER IF IT’S CHEATING
If you catch yourself justifying lying or doing things behind your partner’s back, take a moment to ask yourself, “Would my partner call this cheating?” If the answer is yes, you are. End of story.

2. IF YOU ARE HAVING SEX BEHIND YOUR PARTNER’S BACK,
THE RELATIONSHIP NEEDS SERIOUS HELP
Be good to yourself and get some therapy. If you are truly bi, treat your primary relationship with respect until you can find a way to be the bigirl you want to be in the relationship. If you cannot, it is time to get professional help or take steps to leave the relationship.

3. TREAT YOUR PARTNER THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
In the end, the energy we put out into the universe comes back to us. If you are acting in love and truth, your partner will treat you the same. Don’t bring hurt, insecurity and extra drama into your life unnecessarily. Understand your partner and help your partner to grow, so your partner can understand you and help you to be the person you want to be.

4. MARRIED GIRLS CAN HAVE HEALTHY, EQUITABLE, HONEST “AFFAIRS” WITH GIRLS
The difference between men and women is that some men really enjoy “good jealousy”. Some men enjoy their partners having flings with other girls, or even other men, because it makes them feel the need to “reclaim” their woman sexually. A known affair can really turn your man on and make him devour you like never before. But the only way to discover if this can work for your relationship, is to talk to your man about it.

Honesty, even through difficult conversations, will bring you and your partner closer together. And that’s what it’s all about in the end, isn’t it?

XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY LIKE…

THREE TYPES OF OPEN RELATIONSHIPS FOR BIGIRLS AND THEIR PARTNERS

THE HETEROSEXUAL CLOAKING DEVICE

Hello, to all my beautiful readers!
So sorry life and “real” work took over and I haven’t been able to post…
Bliss Warrior is back in the saddle and more blogs are coming tomorrow…

A BRUNCH IS BEING ORGANIZED IN SAN DIEGO…
I HAVE 4 GIRLS SO FAR…
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US?

STILL SEEKING GIRLS IN DETROIT,
MAUI,
AND
CLEVELAND
FOR BRUNCHES AND FRIENDSHIP!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

keywords: bisexuality, dating, cheating, marriage, relationships, bisexual girls

{ 4 trackbacks }

Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS – TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
December 13, 2007 at 5:42 pm
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » THE APA ANNOUNCES BISEXUALS ARE NO LONGER CONFUSED
January 23, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » ASK MISS BLISS - MY CUTE COWORKER IS FLIRTING AND LYING
March 17, 2008 at 8:35 am
ASK MISS BLISS – SHE’S MAD BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND AND I WENT ALL THE WAY
June 1, 2009 at 5:16 pm

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Heather November 4, 2007 at 3:34 pm

Sexi Says:

I am a bi-girl in a married relationship and am completely honest with my man. Of course, all men are different but here’s what I’ve found:

My man loves that I’m attracted to women. Of course, you must approach it the right way. “Honey I want to have a girlfriend so I can be properly satisfied.” for example, is not a good way to approach him. During sex, when both of you are really into it…you could say: “I just had a really naughty thought…” that, of course is a good start, “would it turn you on at all to think about me playing with ((or kissing or touching or having suck your tit)) another girl?” … shed a good light on it and show him how it could be a good thing for him. And maybe you don’t want him involved in your girly curiosity and fun…but could he be persuaded if he was promised to later find out EVERY detail while you play with him?

Something to think about, ladies.

As always great blog, Bliss – Hugs and Kisses!

Reply

LadyLicious November 4, 2007 at 3:34 pm

i wish i could come to your brunches!!
thank you so much for more excellent words of simple, honest truth.
love you miss blissness~

Reply

Anonymous November 4, 2007 at 3:35 pm

I love your new blog (all of them). Thank you for being you. I’ve met some wonderful girls thru ur list.

Just this weekend I had the sexiest conversation I’ve ever had with my man. He’s known for a while now that I’m open to a threesome, but we never talked directly about bisexuality. We did on Sunday! It started like this: We always ask each other “What are you thinking about” whenever one of us clearly dozes off into daydreams. Saturday night he asked me and it totally caught me off guard. I was thinking about you and this online world and all the wonderful conversations I’ve been having with like minded females recently. I usually tell him EVERYTHING, but this time i felt nervous/embarrassed and told him “i can’t remember now, nothing imparticular” Which was clearly a lie. He tried to pry at first, but let it go. That bothered me. I don’t lie to him and I like that when we ask each other “what are you thinking?” we always answer honestly. So Sunday I had to make it up for it. Over our favorite french pressed coffee in our kitchen I brought it up. I said “Clearly I was thinking about something last night.” and he said “I know, what was it?” Deep breath: I told him that I read your blogs and I have a new understanding about bisexuality and feminine energy. I told him that I’m ready to use the word bi for the first time and that you and all these lovely confident women are the reason. I ALSO told him that I love him dearly and he is number one in my life. I want to grow old with him, have children with him, travel the world together, and experience total bliss in our sexual life. I said a lot. He asked a lot of questions. I answered all of them honestly. I asked him how he feels about everything and he took a deep breath and gave the most genuine, sexy response of any question I’ve ever asked him. He said, “I think you are a very sexual human and I see that you are comfortable in it and I am proud to see you grow into your sexual identity as a woman. I think it’s wonderful and normal. Women are beautiful creatures, how could you not want to be sexual with them. I am just happy that I get to be a part of it. It’s very exciting. I don’t care about fucking another girl, I like the idea of seeing you do it.”
I was completely horny for the rest of the day. Everytime we looked at each other we smiled with a new sense of excitement. I feel even more free and open around him now. I didn’t think I could be anymore in love with him that what I was, but WOW! It’s a new peak.
Honesty is how love grows!

Thanks again Miss Bliss.

Reply

Jazzy November 4, 2007 at 3:36 pm

WHEW!! That def. answered some unanswered questions for me! I totally think that being with another woman with out telling your partner is still considered cheating..unless they are aware of it. It’s so tempting though..and soo much easier to justify it. I def. had the same questions going through my head. It’s great to have a place to come and ask these questions without ridicule and such. Bliss your the best!
Happy Halloween and Happy Thursday to you!!
xoxo
Jazzy
( did i tell you thats where my “name” came from. it’s obv. not real, but in one of your comments you sadi i had a jazzy spirit..and I though..hey, good name..so here we are)

Reply

Beth November 4, 2007 at 3:36 pm

Well written~:)

I am a happily married- bi woman that is blessed enough to be in a relationship with a man who is cool with me being with other women sexually with or without him in the picture. However, he always wants to know and no secrets. The key is honesty and communication. Not cool to cheat.

Would you want it happening to you?

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: