ASK MISS BLISS – MY WIFE WANTS A THREESOME WITH TWO GUYS

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

My wife has recently told me that her big fantasy is to have sex with two guys. I know it’s probably hard to believe that a guy is facing a dilemma of this sort.  I am sure most guys would say, “Hell, yeah,” but I am not one of those guys.   I’m not completely closed to the idea, but when I think “threesome”, two girls pop into my head, not two guys.

I am looking for some type of guidance and how maybe to proceed.  Are there questions I should ask my wife first?  I love my wife and want her to be happy.  I just have never in my life thought of participating in a threesome with another guy. Can you help me?

Thanks,
Unsure About Threesomes

Dear Unsure,

It is true that there are many men out there who would join a MFM threesome at the drop of a hat.  Just read the Craigslist personals some time and you will see plenty of couples seeking a threesome with two guys.   However, this does not mean that ALL men are comfortable with it.  Some men are homophobic and do not want another man’s genitals anywhere near their own; other men are jealous and possessive of thier women and are not ready to share.

More and more women, however, are curious about being with two men.  Your wife’s fantasy is not unusual and you are lucky to have a relationship where your wife is comfortable sharing her desires.  It is also wonderful that you are comtemplating fulfilling her fantasy even when you are not entirely sure it is something you want to do.

MFM THREESOMES ARE SIMILAR TO FFM THREESOMES IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS:

1. If done properly, the experience will bring you closer together and intensify the physical intimacy between the two of you.

2. Both a MFM and a FFM threesome should only happen if the two of you are in a strong, loving and trusting place.  Group sex is never a good bandaid to heal other problems in the relationship.  If you don’t believe your relationship is in a good place right now, you should focus on the two of you solving your relationship problems first.

3.  Group sex can increase your desire for your primary partner.  For many people, it is easy to take your partner for granted and forget what an amazing person you have in your life.  Seeing your wife with another man (or woman) can make you see her “anew” and remind you why she is the love of your life.  Group sex can also make you want to claim her as yours, which can bring exciting energy into your relationship.

THREESOMES WITH TWO GUYS ARE DIFFERENT THAN WITH TWO GIRLS BECAUSE:

1. In a MFM threesome, generally, both men are straight.  In a FFM threesome, the girls tend to be bisexual.  This means that in a FFM threesome, the girls can make love to each other, to the man, and ideally, everyone loves everyone equally.  In most MFM threesomes, however, the focus of lovemaking is centered on the woman and both men focus on pleasuring her.

[Please note:  many women enjoy seeing men together sexually and this does happen even between "straight" men.  I am not saying that all MFM encounters are strictly "straight" or that they should be.  Whatever pleases everyone involved is encouraged and supported by Miss Bliss.]

2.  Since a MFM threesome involves two men, it tends to be more competitive.  Both men want to please the female, so they both work hard to top each other (no pun intended).  This is incredibly amazing for the woman because she is the lucky center of all of this attention.  Even men who are jealous find that when they see their woman with another man, the hotness of the experience outweighs the jealousy.  There is something primal and male about proving to a woman that she belongs to you, and this is what will bring the two of you closer.

3.  The other large difference between a FFM and a MFM threesome is that a MFM encounter is not as romantic.  When two girls are together, the feminine energy rules and there is a lot of kissing, cuddling, and sweet words.  Often when two men are together, the masculine competitive energy rules.  A girl should be ready for really intense sex where little or no romance (except between the primary couple) is necessary.  It is for this reason that some couples say it is “easier” to have a MFM threesome; all three people involved do not need to have romantic feelings to have a successful and hot encounter.

BEFORE YOUR FIRST MFM THREESOME, YOU AND YOUR GIRL SHOULD DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE READY AND ARE ON THE SAME PAGE

1.  What is your wife’s fantasy?  What would she like to have happen sexually?  Does she want to go down on both of you at the same time?  Does she want to be penetrated by you both?  Does she want you to watch him make love to her or have him watch both of you?  What are your fantasies and what would you like to see happen?  [And for the more adventurous couples:  Does she want to see you play with him?]

2.  What are your limits?  What are hers?  Do you want him to orgasm before you do?  [I highly recommend if you are a first timer that you do NOT come before the other man.] Are you okay with another man being inside your wife?  Do you feel comfortable with them kissing?  Is anal penetration for you alone?

3.  What is your secret signal if something isn’t cool?  Every single detail and scenario cannot be planned before the group experience happens.  Sometimes feelings come up that surprise you.  For example, you may think her kissing another man is no big deal, but when it is happening in front of you, it feels bad.  It is important that you and your woman have a signal so you can let her know you are feeling uncomfortable without causing a big drama that makes everyone feel awkward.  This can be a special pull of a finger or a tapping on hand.  Each of you should have veto power and if something feels wrong, make your signal, change what is going on and as soon as your guest leaves, talk it through.  In group scenarios, it is essential that your partnership comes first.

4.  Does she have a guy in mind or would you prefer a stranger?  Will you find him by posting an ad on Craigslist or by approaching a friend?  What qualities do you both want in this male lover?

There is never too much discussion before your first threesome.  Talk it through and then talk it through again.  The more detailed you two are about what you want, the more likely it will be a positive experience.  If you are still not sure after talking, it may not be the right time to follow through on the fantasy.  That is fine because fantasizing about group sex with your partner is an excellent way to increase intimacy all on its own.

XOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Bona2 July 9, 2009 at 6:43 am

Hey Bliss Warior,
Amazing article about 3some with 2 guys…my wife and I just experienced this with my best friend, and had one of the most amazing evenings of our lives…and our excitement level has gone through the roof…can’t keep our hands off each other…I’m 40 and feel like 17….she can’t get enough and we’re now planning our next adventure with him…Important to remember that it can’t be expected that it will happen every time you’re together (he’s married too), it’s all up to my wife how we play it. Anyone who thinks about a 3some should read your article!!

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Mark September 18, 2009 at 3:32 am

love it. more people should talk about this topic. i know a lot are into it. i am. more and more videos have these types of scenes. .

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