ASK MISS BLISS – WHAT TO DO WITH UNEXPRESSED DESIRES

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

I have recently explored my bisexual side with my husband’s approval. He is my best friend and I believe in honesty and trust. I would never go outside of my wonderful marriage without his approval. The problem is my bisexuality has sent him on an emotional rollercoaster.

With his approval, I have met some nice females and had my very first experience with a woman. Things didn’t turn out well with this female due to conflicting sexual needs. Shortly thereafter, I met another wonderful female who I connected with and she and I decided to meet for a possible encounter. My husband’s reaction was a bit different this time. He began playing the victim role and seemed irritated. I decided it was best to cancel the encounter and possibly drop this issue.

Now, I am feeling angry, but more sad than anything. I have lived with these desires since I was a late teenager. My question is how does a BiGirl satisfy her desires when she is not allowed to express them? The desires get very strong at times and even though my husband and I have a very good and adventurous sex life, I crave touching a female.

Sincerely,
Unexpressed Desires

girl-1

Dear Unexpressed Desires,

Congratulations on being best friends with your man, and for valuing honesty in your relationship. It is hard for some bisexual women to be frank with their partner about their sexual and romantic desires, but that has not been a challenge for you, so again, I commend you.

I understand why you are feeling angry and sad, but I would like you to take a minute to see things from your man’s perspective. He has been a real gem to you, lovely girl, and has tried to overcome any jealousies so you could have “encounters” with women. Having an open relationship is tricky in the beginning, because it is hard to know when jealousies and insecurities will arise and what will cause them. Even though he loves you and may even find your bisexual play sexually stimulating, he is still your man, and feelings of possessiveness, insecurity, and jealousy may come up. Because this is new in your marriage, he may not know how to express these feelings and therefore acts like a “victim”.

He may also feel left out because you are experiencing romance without him. In a healthy open relationship, your intimacy and pleasure in your primary relationship increases because you and your man are sharing new experiences together. If he is not with you on the date, then he deserves to hear all about it afterwards. Take time after your tryst to honor your man and your marriage. He demonstrated his love and trust for you by letting you see a girl on your own. Now, it is your turn to demonstrate how invested you are in your marriage and how much you love him first and foremost. Make love to him passionately, fully and honestly. Show him how much you belong to him and love sharing a life with him.

If you two are best friends, I recommend taking some time to fantasize with him about women. Bring your desires into your married bed. Talk with him about what you would love to do to a female lover WITH him. Include him in this new aspect of your life. Perhaps, you will find a woman who desires an encounter with both of you, and, yes, this would really spice up your sex life. Playing with a female lover together will ensure no one is left out.

XOOXXOXOOXXO
BLISS WARRIOR

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY LIKE MARRIED TO A MAN BUT IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN,

DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR MISS BLISS?
EMAIL ME!
(PLEASE KNOW IT TAKES A FEW WEEKS FOR YOUR LETTERS TO BE ANSWERED!)

TOMORROW:
SHE SIPS SAKE
or SLIMMING DOWN WITH SAKE

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Brilliance November 29, 2007 at 9:13 pm

Perfect

Reply

adriana November 29, 2007 at 9:14 pm

it is hard … i expressed to one of my ex boyfriends that i was bi.. and he was NOT ok with it. we broke up.. i expressed to another boyfriend.. and he was ok with it. but that was that. some guys are ok. with it and some are not, but i dont think i could be with a man that can’t accept me along with my natural way of being. but i agree that honesty is the best way to go… you can never fail with that.

Reply

shannon November 29, 2007 at 9:14 pm

I myself have been going through that same issue, excpet with some gender reversal.

My bf is happy that I am out there and seeking for other bi girls. This doesn’t bother him in the least. However, a potential lover wants me and me only. She knows I have a bf, but expects me to be only with her at all times—if we decide to pursue each other.

It is a struggle ..having to choose and put first. Unfulfilled desires will make one very resentful underneath though. I intend to put my man first and foremost. Others will come and go, but open and honest relationships like these don’t come very often….

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: