ASK MISS BLISS – SHE DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A WORD

by Miss Bliss

Dear Miss Bliss,

Several months ago, I met a girl from Craigslist. We hit it off and we were both attracted to each other. We were alike in that we’re both bi, femme, artistic, and “closeted” so we understood each other’s need for privacy. Since we never hung out together during the day doing regular daytime activities, I wouldn’t call what we had a “friends with benefits” type of relationship, but we’d call or text each other whenever one of us was in need of soft and sensual female companionship. We saw each other for several months and she was really sweet. Although she had a lot of drama going on in her life, she’d always text message me saying how she wanted to see me, or just to say “how are you” and ask how things were going. We were like secret friends: we’d meet at night, talk, cuddle, kiss… I felt like a little girl again keeping secrets from the rest of the world by meeting her at night to indulge in our fantasies.

It’s been a month since I last heard from her, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out what I might have done or said to make her have a change of heart. We never said if we were seeing other girls, although I assume she must have been in hindsight. Even still, I don’t understand how she could go from frequent messaging to no contact at all. I feel like a fool and am a little hurt.

If I hadn’t met her on Craigslist, I never would’ve guessed she was bi because she looks very straight. Is it possible to look TOO straight or too innocent and wholesome? I think I look really straight, and I know everyone thinks I’m younger than I really am. I don’t have any problems attracting men, but when it comes to girls, I feel like I’m not pretty enough and that I’m not attractive enough for them.

I don’t want this to bother me, but as much as I hate to admit it, it does. Why do you think she disappeared?

xoxoxo
Missing My Secret Friend

Dear Missing,

I am deeply grateful to know that there are still innocent, young and wholesome girls on Craigslist. Even better, there are two wholesome girls on Craigslist who found each other and got to spend months delighting one another with sweet messages and warm curled bodies. Unfortunately, lack of direct communication and a bit of insecurity probably led this delightful sensuous friendship on a path to a bad outcome.

COMMUNICATION IN LOVE AFFAIRS IS ESSENTIAL
I personally do not like the terms “fuck buddies” or “friends with benefits”. Although they do describe a relationship accurately, I would rather find a lover and have a love affair… but that is just me! You were having a “sensual” affair and enjoying the secret that only you knew: you, the straightest-seeming girl in the world, had found a lover! But for some reason, you two were not communicating well.

GIRLS WITH DRAMA ATTRACT DRAMA
Lovely girl, the minute you wrote that your friend had “a lot of drama” going on, I knew what one of the problems may be. Girls with stress, anxiety, insecurity, chaos and craziness in their lives are not the girls to get involved with sexually and emotionally. If she already has drama in her life, she will attract more drama, and that drama, unfortunately, will eventually involve you.

DO NOT CREATE UNNECESSARY DRAMA
I do not know why you assume in hindsight she had other female lovers. Be careful not to create drama that is not there. Just because she disappeared does not necessarily mean she was seeing another girl.

LOOKING YOUNG IS NEVER A BAD THING
Alright. I think you are the first girl to ever worry about looking too young. Take time today to enjoy how fresh and youthful you are, and make sure to be grateful for the amazing genes you have. Know that you will only become more grateful as you enter your 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond!

ALL GIRLS ARE INSECURE

Every girl worries that she will be the girl no other girl will be attracted to. We are taught from an early age to compete with one another; we are trained to size each other up and decide who is prettier, thinner, more popular, and sexier. Because of this toxic behavior, we all have a part of ourselves that is insecure, especially around other women. What helps us is remembering that other girls feel the same way, so we need to communicate actively how beautiful, sexy, fit and wonderful they are. When we make another girl feel valued and adored, we also feel more attractive and secure.

INSECURE GIRLS ACT LIKE CRAZY GIRLS
We all know that when we are feeling insecure, we do not act our best. I think your lovely girl disappeared because she was too insecure to communicate with you directly. Maybe she wanted the relationship to go deeper than you did. Maybe her “drama” got too overwhelming and she got swallowed up in it. Maybe she was getting to attached to you or worried that you were too attached to her.

The point is, it does not really matter why she disappeared. It was wrong of her to hurt you without communicating why she could no longer continue the friendship. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, but move on. There are plenty of other amazing girls out there that are ready to be direct and upfront with you and treat you like a lover should be treated.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
BLISS

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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING:
ADVICE FOR BABY BI-GIRLS PART 1 -FINDING A FEMALE LOVER
ASK MISS BLISS – SHE TIED ME UP, TOOK MY PICTURE & TOOK OFF
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MEET ME IN MIAMI ON SATURDAY JANUARY 19TH FOR BRUNCH!!
please RSVP to bliss@blisswarrior.com
MORE INFORMATION IN TOMORROW’S BLOG

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HAVE A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM

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girls kissing » ASK MISS BLISS - SHE DISAPPEARED WITHOUT A WORD
January 9, 2008 at 1:00 pm

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

mrs. creepz January 9, 2008 at 10:31 am

for some strange reason… this story seems to me… or at least in my eyes, is the best type of an encounter that one could have without a serious commited relationship. nobody else was involved.. they shared wonderful times. etc, but i do agree that she shouldn’t have dissapeared without at least sending her a text message or SOMETHING.. but sometimes we love the mistery.. the agony, because without it, there would be no extacy.

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Anonymous January 9, 2008 at 10:41 am

(THIS WAS SUBMITTED VIA EMAIL AND ASKED TO BE REPOSTED ANONYMOUSLY)

Speaking as your friendly neighborhood sex-worker, let me tell you what I have learned about women and their insecurity about appearance.

I spend my time interacting with other adult service providers, and without exception, they are beautiful in all their shapes and sizes. None of them would ever make the cover of a magazine. What makes them beautiful is attitude. The fact that they love themselves, warts and all, and it shows.

We all worry that we aren’t pretty enough or thin enough or whatever enough. It doesn’t matter if I think that girl over there is too stunningly beautiful for me. She’s probably feeling the same about me. And if she isn’t, my attention and honest compliments will at least make her feel good. I may not be everyone’s idea of lovliness, but I am the very best ME in the world. And that confidence is what I wrap around myself when I start obsessing over my bad hair day or bad butt day.

Love yourself and the rest of the world will follow your example. . .trust me, I’ve seen it work!

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baby January 11, 2008 at 12:23 am

xoxoxo for your thoughts, advice, and explanations… :)

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