BISEXUALS ARE NO LONGER CONFUSED

by Miss Bliss

Last week, the American Psychological Association announced the findings that bisexual women are not “confused”, or in a transitional phase to become lesbian. According to Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, the bisexual identity is a stable sexual preference and bi women continue to be attracted to both men and women over time.

Now, I know it comes as no surprise to my readers that bi-girls enjoy a sexual orientation that differs from heterosexuals and lesbians, but for the mainstream media, this is a breakthrough. Except for the Kinsey Institute at San Diego State University, there has been little research on bisexual men, and even less on bisexual women. This is the first qualitative, longitudinal study on female bisexuality.

According to USA Today, “Diamond conducted face-to-face interviews around New York state in 1995, when the women (who identified as lesbian, bisexual or unlabeled, but not heterosexual) were ages 18-25. She then spoke with them by phone every two years [for a period of ten years].”

Here are the findings Diamond discovered:

1. BISEXUALITY IS A STABLE IDENTITY
Bi women were more likely to switch between the identities of “bisexual” and/or “unlabeled” than call themselves “lesbian” or “heterosexual”. This is important because it demonstrates that bi-girls in college are not going through a “phase” or a “gateway period” to become lesbians or heterosexuals. If they identified themselves as bi in college or in their early 20s, they continue to identify as bisexual or unlabeled throughout their life, even if they marry men.

2. STRAIGHT GIRLS MAY EXPERIMENT WITH SAME-SEX RELATIONS,
BUT THEY DON’T IDENTIFY AS BI

Some heterosexual girls may experiment with their sexuality during college, playing around with girls and boys, but they tend to identify as “heterosexual” and do not identify as bisexual. So if you are a bi-girl and wondering if the girl who wants to make out with you in a bar is really just a straight girl pulling your chain, you may just want to ask her if she considers herself “hetero”. If she does, she may not be the right girl for you!

3. BI-WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF LONG-TERM, COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS
When someone claims a bi-girl is incapable of committing to one partner, or will sleep with anything that moves, throw these statistics from salon.com back in their face: “The study found that not only were bi women capable of long-term, committed, monogamous relationships, but by the end of the study a greater percentage of bisexual (89 percent) and unlabeled (85 percent) women were in relationships than their lesbian (70 percent) or heterosexual (67 percent) counterparts.” So, being bi might just make you the BEST candidate for a long-term relationship.

Of course, more research needs to be done. Only 79 women participated in the study and the majority were white middle-class women. But the findings seem to accurately describe the marvelous female bisexuals I have known, so I applaud Ms. Diamond’s work.

Last week, The View discussed this study and some Bliss Girls saw it and wrote to me. The news media is still not comfortable believing that a bi-girl who marries a man is still bisexual. They want to argue that the girl has “become straight” and left that part of herself behind. Some bi-girls do find a man and have monogamous relationships, but they still identify as bisexual or unlabeled because they have not turned “hetero”; they have simply found the partner that is right for them. It is the same for bi women in committed lesbian relationships. For a bisexual, the gender is secondary, the person primary. I look forward to the study that demonstrates this truth to the media and the larger culture.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR

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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING:
ASK MISS BLISS – HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M BI?
ASK MISS BLISS – MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN

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LOS ANGELES BI-GIRL DANCE PARTY IS POSTPONED UNTIL FEB. 2ND
Darling LA Bliss Warriors… I have to go to New Mexico earlier than I thought, and Miss Tiger is swamped at work, as well. Organizing events takes a lot of time and patience, and this week we just can’t do it! But never fear, we will be out on the floor bringing the bi-girl magic next week. I hope you all come! I’ve missed my LA goddesses!!!!
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HAVE A QUESTION FOR MISS BLISS? EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM

HAVE A BI EVENT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO PROMOTE? EMAIL ME!

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Lynda January 23, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Kudos for this study/ article! I’m glad to see bisexual women being taken seriously, even if it’s just a small step in the right direction.

Reply

Apacific January 23, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Beautiful Bliss,

That’s what I have been trying to tell the APA for years!! My confusion stems from other sources. I am so glad that they finally listened!! LOL

Reply

Danika January 23, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Yaay for this article, and for the study, more needs to be done of course , but at least its a start. I am a happily married bi women, who has been able to explore that sexuality because my husband encourages it. Not because I haven’t figured out who I am and what I want. So kudos to the studies. :)

Love
Danika

Reply

Amy January 23, 2008 at 9:28 pm

It’s not an official APA statement, per se, but it’s a study that appeared in their journal.

http://www.apa.org/journals/releases/dev4415.pdf

For APA policy statements that reflect the beliefs of the organization, check this out:

http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/policy/pshome.html

A good one to start with is this one:

http://www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/policy/appropriate.html

Reply

Estraven January 23, 2008 at 9:28 pm

Reminds me of a T-shirt I saw at one of the marches on Washington that said
“I’m bisexual – YOU’RE confused”

Reply

Brianne January 23, 2008 at 9:29 pm

Oh, thank goodness this isn’t a phase. Here I was afraid I might grow out of it…

;)

Reply

Colleen January 26, 2008 at 5:31 pm

Thanks for passing on the article. I teach queer lit in St. Louis and wind up just answering a lot of student’s questions about sexuality in general. I’ll be glad to pass the information on! Thanks for the invite, too.

Reply

Miss Heather January 26, 2008 at 5:32 pm

I like the quote “the gender is secondary, the person is primary”. it’s true, there are so many amazing people out there, male and female. you can’t help who you’re attracted too. i’m glad this article was written so maybe they can all finally understand and accept where we’re coming from and that’s it’s ok for us not to have to pick only one gender or the other. life is never so “black and white” so to speak…. much love dear bilss warrior.

xoxo

*Miss Heather*

Reply

Harlem Mama February 1, 2008 at 7:09 pm

KUDOS!!!!!! About time somebody spoke the truth.

Reply

d September 29, 2009 at 6:10 pm

if only all of this were true lol

Reply

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