SHE’S A PERFECT GENTLEMAN & SHE’S PACKIN’

by Miss Bliss

“I dated the cutest butch girl,” Melissa says with a smile. “I’m a girly-girl and usually into feminine women, but this girl was so hot.”

It is a cool winter morning in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and five beautiful bisexual women have gathered for brunch, community, and conversation. This brunch is notable because this is the first brunch where all the attendees are experienced bi-girls with many stories to share.

“She really is the cutest lesbian I’ve ever seen,” says Melissa’s friend, Kairrie, a joyful and sparkling blonde. “When this girl goes out with us to a bar or a club, she wears a full tuxedo with a bow-tie and everything. But, what kills us, is she has the whole boy look from the hair, the clothes, the shoes… but, she wears full make-up. She’s the cutest boy and the cutest girl at the same time.”

Jackie has long blonde hair that pours down her back and cleavage artfully accentuated in a black plunging neckline. “God, what is up with the girls who wrap up their boobs and squash them down? I’m like, ‘You’re such a beautiful woman! Don’t hide your gorgeous breasts!’”

Kairrie looks down at Jackie’s bountiful chest, and says with a flirtatious giggle, “Goodness, speaking of gorgeous breasts…”

“Why thank you,” Jackie says.

“But it wasn’t just the tuxedo that made this girl so hot,” Melissa steers the conversation back to her original story. “Whenever we went out, she was the perfect gentleman. She opened every door, pulled out every chair, and wouldn’t let me pay for a thing. Not even a drink at the bar.”

“You haven’t told the best part,” Kairrie says. “When this girl went out, she was always packin’.”

“What does ‘packin’ mean,” asks Geneva, another fiercely intelligent, long-haired beauty.

“It means she goes out with a dildo in her underwear, right,” I ask. “They sell flaccid dildos now at sex stores for girls who want to go out with a special secret.”

“Oh, but this wasn’t flaccid,” says Melissa. “She didn’t just drop a dildo into her panties and go. She wore her strap-on and was ready to take me whenever she wanted.”

“It was erect,” I ask. “How’d she wear that thing around without poking into people?”

“She wore it down her left pant leg, so when we danced together, I could feel how hard she was for me.”

“Really,” I asked shocked. “She could dance with a strap-on?”

“She’s an amazing girl,” says Melissa.

“Speaking of butch lesbians,” says Jackie. “My Mom is uptight. She knows I’m a bi-swinger, and that’s fine with her, she just doesn’t want to know anything about it. That’s fine, but sometimes, what you don’t know can get you into trouble. My mom is really active as a referee for softball, basketball, and soccer and she’s straight.”

“Wait,” I say, “you said she’s a softball referee and isn’t lesbian?”

“Nope. The rest of them are, but she is not. She’s cool with lesbians and everything, but doesn’t know a thing about lesbian culture. That’s fine, except her ignorance almost got her into trouble. One night after the game, the lesbians ask my mom to join them for a drink. They go out drinking and when they are about to leave the bar, they ask my mom if she’d like to come home with them and make a Daisy Chain.”

The table erupts in laughter. “Does your mom know what a Daisy Chain is?”

“Nooooo,” Jackie says emphatically. “She has no idea it’s an invitation to a sex party.”

“Did she go,” I ask.

“Oh my God,” says Kairrie, “can you imagine?”

“Oh, no. She had to get up early for work the next morning, so she excused herself. But the next day she calls me and asks me what a Daisy Chain is. My jaw drops to the floor. I ask her why she wants to know, and she tells me the whole story. I cannot stop laughing. ‘What does it mean,’ she asks, and I say, ‘Are you certain you want to know?’ Because I am honest and I will tell her the truth but only if she really wants to hear it. She says, ‘Tell me,’ so I say, ‘Well, Mom, all the girls get around in a circle and each girl pleasures the next girl and no one is left out.’”

“What did your mom say,” I ask.

“‘She said, ‘Oh, I thought they were going to make baskets or garden or something…’”

We laugh and the conversation continues as Kairrie goes to the counter to get us another round of chai lattes.

XOXOXOOXXO
BLISS WARRIOR

******************************************************************************************************
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING…
STRAP-ON SOME ETIQUETTE
BE THE BI-GIRL YOU WANT TO MEET
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE
******************************************************************************************************
Dearest Bliss Warriors,
So sorry I was unable to post yesterday. I am in New Mexico and altitude sickness knocked me out yesterday. Now, I’m drinking water and feeling much better. xoxoxoxo BW
******************************************************************************************************
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT WE ARE GOING DANCING IN LOS ANGELES.
WANT TO JOIN US? EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM.

{ 8 trackbacks }

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Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » BRUNCH WITH BLISS THIS SATURDAY IN NEW YORK
November 22, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Bliss Warrior » Blog Archive » I HATE THE WORD “BISEXUAL” - BRUNCH TALES FROM ALBUQUERQUE
February 4, 2009 at 10:00 am
EVEN CANADIANS WATCH THE L-WORD - TALES FROM TORONTO, PART 2
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

shananigans January 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm

I guess we learn something new everyday…I had no idea what a daisy chain was either.
Get well soon Bliss!

Reply

Blue January 29, 2008 at 4:20 pm

What a great time we had! So glad I went!

Reply

dave January 29, 2008 at 4:26 pm

I guess we should have warned you about the altitude thing…so you could get an early start on the water intake. ;) So glad you ladies finally got to meet…hope you enjoy the rest of your stay in beautiful NM!

Reply

Cassandrah Scarpaw January 29, 2008 at 8:25 pm

That wasn’t a bad time at all. Remember to ask for that chocolate espresso shake next time you stop thru Albuquerque…

BTW, thanks to all the attendees, the conversation was, to say the least, stimulating.

Hugs and Kisses,
CCS

Reply

Lacivia January 30, 2008 at 6:58 am

Sunday was FABULOUS!! There is one correction to the story though…. When “she” packed it wasn’t tucked behind like a Transexual it was stuffed down the pant leg. ;-) Kisses!

Lacivia

Reply

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