Dear Miss Bliss,
May I ask a question?
Well, I am embarrassed to ask but I will be having my first encounter with a couple very soon.. And this will be both of our first times… Can you give me some pointers? We know we want to do this … Just nervous I guess…
xoxoxoxo
Nervous & New
ADVICE FOR YOUR FIRST THREESOME
DATE BEFORE STRIPPING OFF YOUR CLOTHES
1. First off, there is no reason to rush into sex. It is incredibly important to have a date or two where no sex happens, and the three of you get a chance to develop sexual tension and chemistry. Dates also give you the opportunity to talk about the couple’s previous experiences, about fantasies you have had, and how the three of you envision the threesome. To meet the right couple for your first threesome is a big deal. Enjoy the flirting, the excitement, the thrill of dating. This always makes the sex better because the three of you have connected emotionally and have replaced nervousness with excitement.
HOT THREESOMES DON’T HAVE TO INCLUDE SEX
2. Threeway intimacy does not have to be sexual. Plan a night where the man gives you and his woman foot massages while the two of you hold hands and drink wine in front of the fire. Sometimes nights like this can be more intense and moving than a sexual encounter.
WHEN YOU CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER…
3. After a flirty date or two, after erotic emails have been sent and received…
When all three of you are impatient to hold one another…
When you just can’t take it any longer but must devour one another….
This is when you schedule the encounter. But be smart, and make sure it is on a night when you have lots of time to get ready and you will not have to get up early the next day.
COMMUNICATE YOUR SEXUAL BOUNDARIES
4. Know what you want to do sexually, and what you do not want to do, and make sure to express your boundaries to the couple before the encounter. Among adults, there is no excuse for misunderstandings due to lack of communication. Before the tryst, send the girl an email detailing what you are looking forward to and what you are not comfortable with just yet. Encourage her to tell you what the couple’s boundaries are, too, because some girls are not ready for you to “go all the way” with their men. The more clearly the three of you lay out what you want, the less likely jealousy or hurt will arise.
TO SLEEP OVER OR TO GO HOME
5. If you do not want to sleep over at the couple’s place, tell them before.
If you would like to stay over, make sure to ask via email first and do not be upset if they are not ready for you to crash. Sometimes a couple needs to process the encounter afterwards by themselves. Be respectful of this need.
DRESS FOR THE GIRL
6. Buy some killer lingerie. You are dating a girl, and girls love lingerie, and bi-girl’s especially love their female lovers in lace, bows, garters and stockings. Plan your outfit so your lingerie is the same or a similar color as your dress. It is especially sexy to wear a dress or skirt that reveals your garters when you sit. Little peeks of skin will drive your lovers crazy. Remember, all of the details are important because girls notice them! (I highly recommend reading my blog on layering lingerie, if you aren’t a lingerie girl… It’s called “Unwrap Your Present“.) The prettier you feel in your underwear, the more comfortable you will be taking off your clothes!
PRIMP YOURSELF
7. On the day of the date, take a long, luxurious bath. If you aren’t waxed (which I highly recommend), do all of your shaving and primping. Make sure you feel like every bit of you smells heavenly, because this will give you confidence around a girl. Nothing is better than having a girl hold you, breathe in your hair, and tell you how amazing you smell. Do your nails, or have them done, and make sure to dip your toes in hot, shiny colors that pop. Wear jewelry that works with both your clothes and your lingerie that does not need to come off (this helps you from losing earrings!). Make sure to have condoms (although this is the couple’s responsibility, in my book) just in case. If you are a girl that worries she may not be able to come without her vibrator, bring it along and give it to the girl when it is the right time.
BE THE GIRL’S LOVER
8. Bring the girl a present. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but flowers or wine is a nice place to start. Remember, it is about you and the girl connecting, and girls love presents. The more she knows you are into her, the less she will worry about your connection with her man. Focus as much of your energy on her until you feel she gives you permission to go deeper with her man.
IF IT’S WRONG, STOP IT & TALK ABOUT IT
9. If anything feels weird or wrong, stop the encounter and talk about it. Sometimes jealousies arise and the mood becomes tense between the couple. If this happens, you can say that something feels wrong and ask if the couple needs a few minutes to themselves. If it still feels weird after, I say politely excuse yourself and send a follow-up email. It is the couple’s job to treat you like a goddess and make you feel safe and loved. If one of them cannot handle the situation, you are under no obligation to stay. They are responsible for inviting you into their relationship, and they are responsible for controlling their jealousies and focusing their love onto you. In my opinion, if something “goes wrong” in a threesome, it is usually due to lack of communication between the couple. So, again, TALK, TALK, TALK about every detail, especially the first time.
IT’S THE COUPLE’S JOB TO CATER TO YOU
10. So, darling nervous and new bigirl, I leave you with these words…
If the right couple has found you, your first threesome should be full of bliss. Any nervousness you have, they will rid you of it. Any fears, they will calm and soothe and entice you. Any worries, they will lift from your mind and heart. You will not have to worry about anything because two wonderful lovers are taking care of you emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually.
XOXOXOXOXO
Bliss
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Miss bliss, you are awesome
I love that feminine energy that you give in your answers, your advice is so thought out and classy, this is kind of the stuff that I need to read… and my boyfriend needs to read it too!
You are so right on, and your beautiful, I don’t need to see your face to know that!
Princess
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wow, Bliss… that is the best advice i’ve heard or seen anyone give for a threesome newbie… KuDoS!!
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MISS BLISS U R FUCKING FABULOUS……………..U TELL PEOPLE HOW TO LOVE, AND I LOVE THAT THANK YOU,
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Miss Bliss, you are divine! I love your advice.
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Love ya, Bliss! If I could add one thing, however, it would be
DO NOT OVERINDULGE IN ALCOHOL ON THE “BIG NIGHT”
11) You’re there, you’re ready, you’re willing. You might be nervous and they might be nervous, too. A drink or two is ok, but don’t go overboard. You don’t want to mistakenly get yourself into a situation you can’t get out of. You want to be able to drive home if you feel uncomfortable. While you may have set very clear boundaries in place at the start of the evening, alcohol can blur those lines and could easily turn a blissful time into one that isn’t as enjoyable as it should be. Stay alert and enjoy your threesome…safely.
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MAn, that was well spoken.. I love it…. I did intend to focus on her and our first meeting wil be alot of communication adn I know this will b e helpful.. ANd I just went to victorias secret and boght a new outfit for the ocassion.. I will follow your advise and fillyou in after wed,,, thank you so Much!!
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Wow…how the hell do you do that?!! You always know exactly what to say, and you say it in such a way that highlights how simple it all really is. The devil is truely in the details, but its the little details and obvious things that people easily overlook or forget. Reading your blogs is like discovering sliced bread…something so essential and ideas so enlightning, but easily could have been over looked if someone was not there say it out loud (or blog it) for us.
Jeez girl, you rock!!!! Now, how do we get you your own TV show? You need one…but you have to promise to make me your co-host.
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I would describe myself as a lesbian who happens to be madly in love with a man. I have been married for several years. My husband is the only man I have ever desired in a sexual way. I love being with women and he is open to it. I am looking for a friend- to possibly date- and who will be ok with the fact that I am married. I live in the Little Rock Arkansas area. My physical appearance will not disappoint and my personality is even better.
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