Bliss Warrior

ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY

Written by Miss Bliss on October 9, 2007 – 12:25 pm -

Dear Miss Bliss,

I’m a semi-newly married (almost a year) 23 year old who waited. My husband and I have openly and honestly discussed our past experiences and our future desires. He’s had a threesome before, but I have only kissed a girl. I am highly intrigued by the thought of having a threesome, but I am nervous because I have some scars that become visible when my clothes come off. I live in the San Diego area and am having a lot of trouble finding a girl for threesomes. It doesn’t help that I’m a tomboy who doesn’t normally get along too well with girls. I’m also afraid I might become jealous if I see my man doing anything to another girl, but I also think it would be a great opportunity for me to learn more about what a girl can do during sex. Do you have any advice before I post on your comments? Thanks, and thank you oh-so-very much for being who you are: a strong, free, life-loving, independent, hot, sexy woman who’s not afraid to be exactly what she is. openly and unashamed by society’s opinions. For that, I thank you.

-Inexperienced, but Curious

Lovely Inexperienced Tomboy,

There are really four questions in your letter:
1. How do I meet bi-girls in the San Diego Area?
2. What do I do about my scars?
3. How does a tomboy find a female lover?
4. How do I handle my jealousy in a threesome?

1. HOW DO I MEET BI-GIRLS IN THE SAN DIEGO AREA?
Since I have already dedicated numerous blogs to question number one (including BE THE BI-GIRL YOU WANT TO MEET), I am going to skip that and move right on to questions 2, 3 and 4.

2. WHAT DO I DO ABOUT MY SCARS?
Naturally it depends on where your scars are and what kind of scars you have, but creative lingerie layering may be the answer for you. With stockings, garters and a lace babydoll, you can be incredibly sexy while covering scars in the process.

You already have a man who is crazy about your gorgeous body. Your scars have not kept you from love, yet, and this should not be different with a girl. If you find a female lover who you connect with, share your fears with her. You may be surprised to learn that she is insecure to show you her body, too. Many girls are afraid to be nude around one another because they expect girls to be harsh critics of their physique. From birth, we girls have been taught to judge one another by who’s the prettiest, the thinnest, the fittest, etc, but bi-girls are changing this trend by ADORING the women around them and LOVING their bodies.

3. HOW DOES A TOMBOY FIND A FEMALE LOVER?
Many bi-girls, including myself, say that when they were younger they often got along better with boys than girls and considered themselves to be tomboys. If you are interested in finding a super femme lover, I recommend that you begin experimenting with your femme side. Lingerie is a great way to maintain the tomboy on the outside and the super femme secret on the inside. How does it feel to go to work knowing there’s lace under your cargo pants? How fun is it to strip out of your jeans for some fishnets for around the house? Find your femme side but love your strong, independent, fun tomboy side.

On the other hand, tomboys are sexy to many girls. Perhaps you need to know that some girls adore women in men’s briefs and a wife beater. The point I am getting at here, is the more you love who you are right now in this very moment, the more attractive you will be to everyone. Love attracts love, so don’t worry about being a tomboy and enjoy being you! Your man certainly loves you and girls will, too.

4. HOW TO HANDLE JEALOUSY IN A THREESOME
THE 2 ON 1 RULE - The easiest way to avoid jealousy in a threesome is the 2 on 1 rule. What this means is two lovers focus on the other’s pleasure. For example, if you are inviting a new friend into your bed, you and your husband would please the girl first together. This brings you and your man close together because you are both concentrating your energy on pleasing your lover. If this goes well, she and he can then focus on you. And if this goes well, the two girls can please the man. Jealousy is often caused when one person feels left out. This rule helps keep everyone engaged, touching, and together in bliss.

THE SECRET SIGNAL - Develop a secret signal that will let your partner know something feels wrong to you. This could be a series of taps on your man’s hand, or a certain finger being pulled, anything that you two have agreed upon. This also allows your man to be able to notify you if something does not feel right to him. Remember you have a guest over and it is your duty to make your lover feel safe and comfortable. Do not give the secret signal then have a fight in front of her. Be courteous and chill and know that you and your man will discuss what happened after she leaves.

VETO POWER - Both you and your man reserve veto power, meaning if something is wrong, and the “signal” did not fix the problem, the threesome should end. Again, be incredibly thoughtful and kind to your lover. Jealousy is worked out over time. We do not always know what will make us jealous until it happens, so couples in open relationships need to be prepared to feel it, face it, and talk about it. In the early years of my relationship, jealousy would arise once in awhile, but when it did, my husband and I would talk it through and it brought us closer together.

DECIDE WITH YOUR PARTNER WHAT IS OKAY AND WHAT IS NOT OKAY FIRST -
Planning your threesome before it happens is a way to ensure no one becomes jealous. If you are not okay with your man penetrating the girl, work this out ahead of time. If he is not willing to have an encounter that is only kissing and touching, maybe he is not ready. Remember, the threesome is about bringing you two closer together, so focus on what will please both of you. Is it both of you going down on her together, which can be really fun for novice girls, or is it both of you giving a lover a massage? Remember, the more you know and trust your man, and clearly understand the sexual expectations you both have for the night, the better your experience will be.

DEAR READERS,
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE POSTED YESTERDAY, BUT OUR WONDERFUL 17 YEAR OLD CAT WENT INTO INTENSIVE CARE LAST NIGHT, AND WE LOST HER THIS MORNING. WE ARE VERY SAD, BUT YOUR EMAILS AND COMMENTS HELP SO MUCH.
XOXOXOXOXOX
BLISS

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