Magical, marvelous, mystical bi-girls,
In the last week, I have received emails from bi-girls complaining that it is impossible to meet other cool girls through the internet. Dating is never an easy enterprise, and learning to date closeted bi-girls is a particularly specialized art. The first step is to be the bi-girl you want to meet.
Lovely, luminous Kendra told me that she met a girl she liked on myspace and the two of them hit it off, emailing back and forth flirtatiously for a week. The vibe was there. Kendra found the girl to be funny, sweet and cool and asked if she would like to meet for tea. The girl said she would love to meet Kendra, and the date was set.
On the day of the date, Kendra woke up early to make herself gorgeous. She took a long bath, perfumed herself, painted her toes, curled her hair, and put on a new turquoise dress. Devastatingly hot and full of excited confidence, Kendra arrived early and waited to meet this new friend and potential lover.
But the girl never showed.
Maybe she did come, saw Kendra, wasn’t attracted to her and fled…
Maybe she freaked out because of her own insecurity and did not have the guts to show up and be rejected…
Maybe she was a pic-collecting guy pretending to be a girl, so he couldn’t show up…
BUT…
This girl never realized how insecure this made Kendra.
This girl taught Kendra that bigirls are not reliable or respectful of others.
This girl made Kendra feel humiliated.
This girl made Kendra want to give up her search for a bigirl lover.
BE THE BEST BI-GIRL YOU CAN BE
1. IF YOU MAKE A DATE, KEEP THE DATE
Sometimes bi-girls get so caught up in the potential for sex, that they forget to enjoy the date. It can be lonely being a bigirl, and a date is an opportunity to have a conversation about topics that cannot necessarily be discussed with straight friends.
2. IF YOU MEET HER, AREN’T ATTRACTED TO HER, YOU CAN STILL HAVE A GREAT TIME
Many bi-girls do not want to go out and meet their cyber-bi-girl-pals because they are worried that they will show up at the date and not be attracted to the girl. This happens.
However, I am personally tired of girls assuming a date equals sex. Just because two girls are open sexually does not mean that every encounter with another girl has to be sexual. It might be, if the connection is strong and the vibe is right…. But the only way to know that is to meet the person.
So go out. If you don’t connect with the girl sexually, maybe you will intellectually or emotionally, or… MAYBE SHE IS A GIRL YOU CAN GO OUT WITH TO PICK UP NEW GIRLS. You never know what will happen, but nothing will happen if you stay in your safe little home with your laptop.
3. DON’T FREAK OUT WHEN A BI-GIRL ASKS YOU OUT
Many bi-girls write me and I try to respond to everyone I can. Sometimes girls write, “If you’re in town, let’s meet up.” Because I love meeting new bi-girls of all types, (not to sleep with necessarily, but because I believe bigirls are simply the most fabulous women on the planet and definitely the most interesting girls to talk to), I say, “Sure, I’ll be there next month. Let’s have tea.” Some girls say, great, and we set a date.
But some baby bi-girls freak out and never write back, worrying that a date for tea will somehow force them into group sex or a porn shoot or BDSM or something.
The next time you receive a girl’s invitation to go out, try to think about how scary it must be to reach out to a virtual stranger. Think about how nice it is to meet new people without fearing that they will be crazy psychos. Go with the hope that you will at least meet an interesting person and have a good talk, and maybe you will be surprised and meet someone that you connect with. And, if the girl does end up being a crazed sociopath, you will have a story that will entertain others for months.
LOVE BEING BI
LOVE OTHERS FOR BEING BI
REACH OUT AND MAKE A BI FRIEND.
OXOXOXXOXOXOXO
BLISS
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WOW! This is so insightful. I’m going to internalize this. Thank you so much Miss BLiss! You’re FABULOUS!
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This is great advice. And I have a feeling that you have a rippier voice (meaning, you are stopping yourself short of going all the way!) I’d like to hear the whispers of a bi-pro who gives me advise on scrumptious things… Oh, possibly I’m talking non-sense… Forgive me.
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Thanks for posting this, now I know I am not alone in the search for that special Bi friend.
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i love all your blogs. i always read something i hadn’t thought of before. thank you for sharing your wisdom!
xoxo,
mary
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I liked your blog and definately believe it to be true…..it is really much harder to meet bigirls who are interested in meeting you and hanging out when you are a big girl…which I kinda find annoying because you hit it on the head when you said not every date has to end in sex…sometimes I just wanna hang
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It is a shame that some people can’t just meet the person no matter what they look like. Beauty is more than just skin deep and I have found that to be very true!
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so i just wanted to say i love your blogs, and I am so happy to have found them. It gives me alot of insight into, well just about everything. I am currently trying to just figure out me. Am I Bi, BiCurious, can i even say that I am BiCurious? all that jumbled mess. At least I have a husband who loves and adores me and is willing to help me figure it out and explore that side of me. So finding your blog has helped me find that help, and maybe i can even connect with some fun girls to hang out with.
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i’m learning so much from your blog!!
thanks and keep up the good work.
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here’s to being respectful, curious, and open-minded…you never know what the possibilities may be!
xoxo
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You are a Goddess, dearest divine, amazing Bliss Warrior. . .your posts are filled with such beauty and wisdom. . .to read them is to know how wonderful the world should always be.
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i think you speak only the truth… i look forward to all your blogs!!
xoxoxoxo
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I love this post! I totally agree. FREAKIN’ SHOW UP WHEN YOU SAY YOU’RE GOING TO BE THERE! We’re women… we understand if you’re apprehensive. We understand because we’ve been there at some point too.
10 years ago, I met responsible, reliable bi-girls on Craig’s List. Now-a-days, people are total flakes. It really bums me out. I’m confident that I’m sexy, fun and a good friend- with or without the sex. I just wish other bi-women were too.
Kudos to you for writing it all out. Bravo!
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This is very true, and beautiful advice. It is really frustrating sometimes looking for other bi-girl’s to be friends with, it sometimes feels like they are scared of other bi-girls.
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