TOO YOUNG FOR MONOGAMY - Tales From the Seattle Brunch
Written by Miss Bliss on August 11, 2008 – 6:58 am -“I’m in an open relationship,” says Geneva.
Eight bisexual women have come together for brunch, community and friendship on a rare sunny day in Seattle. This is my first trip to the great state of Washington, and in the last twenty-four hours I have fallen in love with Seattle’s mountains, hills, trees, and clean sparkling air. During brunch, the city woos me even more by introducing me to seven beautiful, bright and beguiling bi-women.
“You are,” asks Sadie, the blonde with perfectly painted dark eyes. “I’m jealous.”
“How is that working out for you,” asks the tall brunette, Nicole, sitting across from me.
“Well, we were monogamous the first year we dated. I think it’s important to establish a relationship first before opening it up. But we’re both in our early twenties and we knew when we first met that we were way too young to be strictly monogamous.”
“I don’t like to share,” says Sadie. “Being with a couple is one thing, but being in a couple and bringing in another? I couldn’t do it.”
“So you both date other people separately,” I ask. “Other girls I know who are in open relationships often say the funny thing about it, is the more you date other people, the more you appreciate your relationship and the less you want to date others.”
“It’s funny you mention that,” says Geneva, looking at me with her clear, bright eyes and pretty freckled skin. “My man will meet one of the guys I am dating and he’ll tell me later, ‘That guy’s not up to your level.’ He does it in a really sweet way, too. It isn’t like he’s trying to put down the guy out of jealousy, he truly wants me to be with men who respect and appreciate me.”
“I’m jealous,” says Sadie. “I want that!”
“Well, darling, anyone as cute as you are, anytime,” Geneva says with a flirtatious smile, completely in her power.
“Me, too,” says Nicole with a fetching smile.
“It isn’t easy. You have to communicate a lot for it to work. I mean, sure, I have buttons that can be pushed and I can get jealous. Like if he dates a petite blonde - everything I am not - it’s hard not to feel a little jealous. But you talk about it, work through it, and grow. So far, it’s worked for us.”
This is why I enjoy bringing bisexual women together for conversation, friendship and support. Some of the girls who came to the brunch are monogamous, others are in open relationships, and some are looking for a combination of both. Simply meeting other women who are creating successful new kinds of committed relationships helps girls to realize there are many options for love. Although some bi-women are content with traditional monogamous relationships, others are searching for something more. By taking a risk and inviting strangers to brunch, bi-women are finding each other and discovering supportive friends.
As always, after the brunch I received over 30 e-mails from Seattle girls who want to attend the next event in Seattle. If you are in Seattle, and curious about meeting other bi-girls, I encourage you to join the private, free community site the Bliss Warrior team built this year, Hotel Bliss. Seattle girls are checking in and would like to meet you. (CLICK HERE to apply for membership.)
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
**************************************************************************************************
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING ABOUT OTHER BLISS BRUNCHES:
NOT SEEKING BARBIE - Tales From the San Diego Brunch
WHY INVITING BI-GIRLS TO BRUNCH IS THE BEST
FROM TOMBOYS TO FAB FEMME GIRLS - TALES FROM TORONTO, PART 1
GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE A BI-GIRL FRIEND
AN ODD PLACE TO MEET A BI-GIRL
THE STRANGE FOLKS ON CRAIGSLIST
THERE IS NO “ONE-TYPE” OF BI-GIRL
SHE’S A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND SHE’S PACKIN’
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE
MY MOM OUTED ME OVER THANKSGIVING DINNER
**************************************************************************************************
TOMORROW ON BLISS WARRIOR: OUR GUEST BLOGGER, V., RETURNS WITH PART FOUR OF HER SERIALIZED BLOG, AND THEN THERE WERE TWO. THE TRUE STORY OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MAN AND THE WOMEN HE INTRODUCED HER TO.
**************************************************************************************************
A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE MARVELOUS LACIVIOUS FOR HOSTING YET ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL BRUNCH FOR BI-GIRLS IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO. WE LOVE YOU, DARLING, FOR BRINGING BEAUTIFUL BI-WOMEN TOGETHER FOR FRIENDSHIP, COMMUNITY AND FLIRTATIOUS FUN!
**************************************************************************************************
Posted in BISEXUALITY, BLISSWARRIOR NEWS, HOTEL BLISS, RELATIONSHIPS, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, commitment, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, flirting, friends, jealousy, meeting girls, open relationships, seattle |
ASK MISS BLISS - MY GIRLFRIEND’S USING COKE AND LYING ABOUT IT
Written by Miss Bliss on August 6, 2008 – 3:21 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
My girlfriend started doing coke behind my back. This scares me because an ex-boyfriend of mine started doing coke and would beat me when he was high. So, as you can imagine, I hate that drug and all drugs (except a little weed - LOL).
We were spending all day every day together until she started doing coke again. It was really nice dating her even though we only kissed when we hung out. Now, we see each other maybe once a day and even though she doesn’t admit it, I know she’s using because she acts differently. She lies and is hyper and more angry.
We have only been dating a few months and now I am ready to move the relationship to a new stage, if you know what I mean. She is interested in us deepening our sexual relationship, too, but I don’t know how to approach the situation. I have done things with other girls, but not her.
But I am not sure if I should make the relationship deeper since she said she would stop using cocaine and hasn’t. If she’s using again, do you think should I leave her?
XOXOXOXO
CAUTIOUS AROUND COKEHEADS
Dear Cautious,
Although I think the United States Drug Policy is problematic and all drugs should be legalized, monitored, prescribed, and taxed, there are some drugs I just don’t get and cocaine is one of them.
I know what you are thinking: But, Miss Bliss, what’s not to like about doing a few lines?
And, I say to you, yes, cocaine is great. If you haven’t had the opportunity, it is a real treat to hang out with people doing lines. What’s better than sitting with boring, nonstop chattering people who say every inane thought that pops into their heads? Nothing is more attractive than people with tight jaws and nervous energy who are loud, obnoxious and slightly turned on but completely flaccid. How I enjoy irritable and cranky coke users who never, ever, ever, ever stop talking and then flip out in an angry outburst over nothing.
Wow. What a great drug. Where do I sign up?
1. IF SHE IS LYING TO YOU ABOUT COKE, SHE’S NOT GOOD GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL
Since you dated a guy who abused cocaine, you know the tell-tale signs when an addict is using. So I am sure you are right when you assume she is using behind your back. A girl who lies to you is not good girlfriend material. If she is not willing to be honest with you about her drug use, what else will she lie to you about?
2. TELL HER YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT HER BEHAVIOR
It is obvious that you truly care about this girl and want the relationship to work. If that is the case, you should let her know how her behavior changes when she uses and how this makes it hard for you to be around her. Make sure to tell her how much you care about her and enjoy her company when she is not on cocaine. Remember, she feels more
3. YOU’RE WAY COOLER THAN SOME COKED-OUT CHICK
Obviously, you have already witnessed what an awful drug cocaine is, so already, you are way cooler than your girlfriend. You may want to do some searches on a community site like myspace for new friends who are not fans of boring, bad drugs that do not open the mind, but only close it tighter.
4. COKE-USERS GET UGLY FAST
Being aware of how drugs are harmful is a good thing even though it may not make you popular to drug-users. Just know that when you are in your 40s, your heart, circulatory system, and body will be as young and beautiful as it is now. Nothing ages a girl like a lot of cocaine.
5. IF SHE TRIPS OUT BECAUSE YOU CARE ABOUT HER, FIND A GIRL WHO IS READY TO BE LOVED
Only take a relationship to a deeper level if you know your partner is able and ready to love you as you deserve to be loved. If she is lying to you or using drugs behind your back, she is not able to be the girlfriend you deserve. When you share your concerns with her, if she is able to hear your words and change, then you should take the next step and extend your physical relationship. If she flips out, it is time to start dating new people until you find the girl who is ready to reciprocate your love.
6. HOW TO MOVE PAST FIRST BASE WITH A GIRL
(A) WHEN IT’S RIGHT, IT’S EASY Darling, Cautious About Coke-Heads, you write that in the past you have gone further than kissing with other girls. If it does not easily progress from kissing to more with your current girlfriend it may mean that she is not the right girl for you right now. When love is right it is easy. You do not have to “do” anything; true love is natural and easy. Sexual relations progress easily because the two of you cannot wait to rip each others’ clothes off!(B) UNLESS, IT’S RIGHT AND SHE’S A GIRL VIRGIN If this is her first relationship with a woman, she may just be scared she will not know how to make love to you. If this is the case, use your experience to be the more dominant lover. Make the first move to undress her, touch her, and make her climax. Once a girl orgasms, she becomes a lot less fearless about reciprocating the physical affection.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
***************************************************************************************************
HOTEL BLISS GIRLS: THE BOUTIQUE WILL BE LAUNCHING THIS FRIDAY!!!!
IF YOU WANT TO SELL YOUR HANDMADE GOODS AT THE HOTEL BLISS BOUTIQUE, E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM.
YOU MUST HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT TO BE A SELLER.
***************************************************************************************************
IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY OTHER ASK MISS BLISS COLUMNS:
SHE LEAVES ME TONGUE-TIED
SHE’S MAD BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND AND I WENT ALL THE WAY
MY GIRLFRIEND’S UNHAPPY WITHOUT A FEMALE LOVER
HE DOESN’T BELIEVE I’M COMMITTED
MY CUTE COWORKER IS FLIRTING AND LYING
***************************************************************************************************
HAVE A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM .
***************************************************************************************************
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, Uncategorized, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, cocaine, communication, dating girls, drug use, girls kissing, kissing, lovers, the first time, virginity |
ASK MISS BLISS - SHE LEAVES ME TONGUE-TIED
Written by Miss Bliss on July 21, 2008 – 3:53 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I thought I would ask you a question about the girl I am seeing. Michelle and I have been together since February and I still am very quiet with her. Naturally, I am a pretty laid back gal that isn’t the most talkative person in the bunch but I have NEVER been so quiet with someone…ever.
I think part of the problem is because Michelle is the first girl I have ever dated and is sooo beautiful. Every time I see her, my mouth drops and I get nervous and start stumbling over my words. I want to tell Michelle everything that’s on my mind but I don’t know how to get myself to do it. When I am with her, all I can think about is that my life is boring and I have nothing exciting to say. Or, if I do have something to say, I figure she will think that I’m weird and random for bringing it up.
I feel if I continue to be quiet Michelle will lose interest or she’ll think that I have my guard up. Thanks for listening!
XOXOXOXO
Tongue-Tied Girl
Dear Tongue-Tied Girl,
Congratulations on finding a beautiful girl who you adore. To be together for seven months is quite an accomplishment and you should feel very proud of your connection.
FIRST LOVE CAN TURN A MOTOR MOUTH MUTE
The good news is your situation is not uncommon. Your whole self has been shaken to the core because the unbelievable has happened: the beautiful girl likes you. Shocked that someone so pretty and charming wants to spend time with you (even though I am certain in her eyes, you are the gorgeous and witty one) you suddenly find yourself unable to say a word in her presence. Nervous, unusually quiet, and conversationally clumsy, you wonder why your mind has abandoned you. Well, darling, you are enjoying the complex side effects of first love that everyone must experience eventually. Luckily, I have a few tips that will help loosen up your conversation skills.
#1 KEEP EYE CONTACT WITH HER WHILE SHE IS TALKING
When you are self-conscious during a date, you are listening to that small, critical voice in your head and ignoring the sexy voice of the pretty girl across from you. To get out of your head and focus on her, take a moment to make sure you are looking her in the eyes when she is talking. Eye contact gets you out of your head and makes her feel “heard” as she talks. Words can only express so much; eyes express feeling. If you cannot say to her how beautiful she is with words, say it with your eyes.
#2 ASK HER QUESTIONS ABOUT HER
Studies have shown that the best conversationalists are the best listeners. Humans love to talk about themselves. Haven’t you been out with a friend and been shocked that over an hour and a half lunch she only talked about herself? If you ask your girl questions about her life, her past, her week and her thoughts, she will think you both had a great “conversation” and will feel closer to you even if you did not really talk about yourself. If she is the right girl for you, she will learn from you and begin asking you questions about your life.
#3 INVITE HER OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS
If you feel like you cannot be yourself around her, invite her out with your best friends (if they do not know you are bi, ask her if she’d like to come out as your “friend” – sometimes, it’s a real riot to be around your friends with your lover. You get to enjoy your secret flirtation.) When you are with your friends, you can be your truest, most confident self and see how much that delights your girlfriend. After a fun night out with the “real” and relaxed version of you, it will be easier to be the same girl with her on dates.
#4 BE PATIENT AND LOVING TO YOURSELF
Remember that your intense feelings are causing you to feel tongue-tied. Be kind to yourself and remember that everyone feels awkward when they first fall in love. The more you love yourself and remind yourself that this girl already adores you, the more you can enjoy being the magical girl you are.
XOXOXOOXXO
BLISS WARRIOR
***********************************************************************************************
GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
***********************************************************************************************
THIS SATURDAY, BRUNCH WITH BLISS WARRIOR IN SAN DIEGO. ALREADY, 15 GIRLS ARE ATTENDING. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS IF YOU ARE IN SAN DIEGO.
***********************************************************************************************
NEXT SATURDAY, AUGUST 2ND AT NOON, BLISS WARRIOR IS HOSTING HER FIRST BRUNCH IN THE CAPITOL HILL AREA IN SEATTLE. E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN ATTENDING.
***********************************************************************************************
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, communication, dating, dating girls, lovers |
ASK MISS BLISS – SHE’S MAD BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND AND I WENT ALL THE WAY
Written by Miss Bliss on July 16, 2008 – 11:50 am -
Dear Miss Bliss,
I know you’re extremely busy, but I would be very interested to get some advice from you. I have been with my girlfriend for about five months now and things were going great until a couple days ago when she emailed me an angry letter:
“You sleeping with my boyfriend was NOT part of the deal. Obviously, the two of us didn’t talk about this before I had you come over. He said if I found a girl I liked enough to be my girlfriend that he didn’t mind. He said he’d enjoy watching, which I didn’t mind. I also wouldn’t have minded if he just played with you only using his hands and tongue. No weiner allowed! After you left the other night, I told him I felt horrible that he would actually have ‘sex’ with someone else. He told me to deal with it or you aren’t allowed over.”
She has a boyfriend and yes, all three of us had sex with one another. I preferred only to be with her, but I thought that it was just the agreement they had with each other, so I dealt with it. Well, now, after five months, she comes back and says she never wanted that to happen and the only way I can come over there is if he can have me, as well. So I don’t know what to do. I love her but I don’t want her to be upset because he wants to have sex with me, too.
Thanks for listening,
Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught in the Middle,
1. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
First, you did everything right. To be with her, you had to be with her boyfriend, too. Even though you preferred to have her all to yourself, you understood she was in a relationship and tried to respect their rules.
2. COUPLES NEED TO DIRECTLY COMMUNICATE THEIR “RULES” TO THEIR LOVER BEFORE PROBLEMS ARISE
As your lover wrote, she and her boyfriend did not clearly discuss what was “part of the deal” before you came over. She did not tell him or you that she was uncomfortable with penetration. If she had, I am certain you would not have gone anywhere near his “weiner.” But she didn’t, and seems to blame you for not reading her mind and stopping the intercourse from happening. This is her fault and if she is angry, she should be angry at herself for not communicating her needs better.
3. CAN YOU BE WITH THEM AND NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HIM?
According to her letter, the two of them want something different. She wants to continue having threesomes, just without you and the boyfriend having intercourse. It seems he wants the sex to continue as it is. Obviously, dear reader, you have a problem. If being with her is important to you, it seems you cannot aggravate the situation by having intercourse with him. However, before you are with them again, you need to clearly tell them both that you do not want to continue having sexual intercourse with him because you do not want to cause tension or jealousy in their relationship.
4. WHAT IF HE STILL WANTS INTERCOURSE DURING THE NEXT THREESOME?
If you clearly communicated to them that you cannot have sexual intercourse during your encounters and he tries to have sex with you again, you may have to end the relationship with both of them. If he can’t respect her wishes or yours, you do not want to be involved with this couple. Sadly, if he acts badly she may just blame you. Some girls will always blame the “other” girl before focusing her anger on her man – even if he deserves it! If this is the case, it may be time to find a new, drama-free girlfriend.
5. NEVER, EVER HAVE SEX WITH A MAN JUST TO BE WITH HIS GIRL
I know that it can be very hard to find a female lover who you adore. When that girl is attached to a man, it is incredibly important to remember that you never have to be with her man if you do not want to be. I have heard some bi-girls say that they will “take one for the team” to be with a girl (meaning they will sleep with the boyfriend even when she does not want to.) Sexual intercourse is a sacred, loving ritual and should only be shared with partners you truly adore. Do not have sex with him just to be with her. It will only bring you drama.
OXXOXOXOXOOX
BLISS WARRIOR
**********************************************************************************************
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING OTHER ASK MISS BLISS COLUMNS:
ASK MISS BLISS - A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
ASK MISS BLISS - MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
ASK MISS BLISS - WHAT TO DO WITH UNEXPRESSED DESIRES
ASK MISS BLISS - TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
ASK MISS BLISS - MY BOYFRIEND’S PUSHING HARD FOR A THREESOME
**********************************************************************************************
GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, group sex, intercourse, jealousy, love affairs, lovers |
ASK MISS BLISS - I TOLD HIM I LOVED HER
Written by Miss Bliss on March 4, 2008 – 8:51 pm -Dearest Bliss,
I have been communicating with another bi-girl for quite some time and find her to be the most ideal out of all my past female partners and encounters. She is so naturally striking and unlike any woman I have ever met. She has proven to be someone I connect with emotionally. I can share all my thoughts with her and she truly cares about what I have to say.
Maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but I do not know how to handle my feelings. I have never been so enamored with a woman like I am with her. Not too long ago, while gushing about her to my man, I blurted out that I loved her.
I think I am in love with her which is my greatest fear. In my past, I have had very negative relationships and encounters with women. It scares me, because I never felt like this about any other person except for my man.
I have no idea where to go from here. We are really great friends and I do not want to tarnish that. At the same time, I feel this agonizing lump in my tummy every time we talk. This is far from my territory and I have no idea what to do next. As a well seasoned bi-girl, can you please walk me through this….???
XOXOXOXO
In Love & Terrified
Dear In Love & Terrified,
First of all, congratulations on having an open, honest, and loving relationship with your man. How sweet it was to imagine you in his arms, blurting out your love for your new lover, and sharing your fear that she might break your heart. He is a wonderful man to be so understanding during your new love affair, and you are lucky to have such a loving partner.
1. CAN YOU BE IN LOVE BEFORE YOU’VE MET?
From your letter, it seems like the two of you have been “communicating” which loosely translated means you have never met in person. It is incredibly easy to have a magnificent love affair over the internet or the phone, because your imagination is involved. Since you have not met the girl in person, you only know her through her written and spoken words. Any details left out, your imagination fills in with a romantic image of your lover. Before meeting, it is easy to believe she is the most perfect female partner ever - and she may just be. But until you have met, you are not in love with her. You are, however, deeply, marvelously, passionately infatuated with her, which is different.
2. IS FRIENDSHIP BETTER THAN THE RISK OF A BROKEN HEART?
Many baby bi-girls worry that if they let themselves fall in love with their friend that they will ruin the friendship. The question you have to ask yourself is this - when you look back at this time ten years from now, will you be happy or sad that you risked your heart for love? If she is indeed a bi-girl like you - and you met because you were both seeking the same perfect love affair - do not blow a fantastic connection for friendship’s sake. Most bi-girls who meet and connect strongly, care about maintaining the friendship when the love affair dies down. If you give her honesty and respect, and love her madly, she will want to be your friend in the end, no matter what happens emotionally and sexually.
3. THE FIRST TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH A GIRL IT IS POWERFUL
An established bi-girl friend of mine once said, “I’ll never date a girl-virgin again. I can’t deal with them falling in love and getting all crazy and possessive.” It is true. The first time you fall in love with a girl is very much like the first time you fall in love with a man. It is nearly impossible to avoid giving your heart to her and becoming a silly fourteen year-old girl again. But here is the thing to remember: the first time should be a powerful emotional experience. Perhaps it will end with some pain, but it may just end naturally and calmly. The point is this, dear In Love & Terrified, you are already giving this girl your heart. If she is ready to give you hers, I say dive in and prepare to feel all the ups and downs of new love. Remember, it is a journey and it will not last forever - you both already have primary male partners. So love, but be wise and remember no matter how wonderful the affair, it will have an expiration date.
4. WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?
Darling, girl, it is time to be brave and ask your lover out on a real date. Bring her flowers, wear a really cute, sexy outfit and have fun. Let her know what you are nervous about and what concerns you. Be sincere and be your wonderful self. Know that she will be as nervous as you are so make her feel comfortable by telling her why she is so different from the other women you have met before. Share how surprised you are by the connection and by how easy it is to talk with her. Flirt with the eyes and make sure to listen. Trust yourself and you will know the right thing to say and do at the right time.
5. MAKE SURE TO PASSIONATELY LOVE YOUR MAN AS YOU TELL HIM EVERY DETAIL
And, of course, after your date, make sure to share your love affair with your marvelous man. Share every sexy detail and tell him how loved he is and how amazing he is to support your sexual exploration. Then throw him down and make mad love to him. The best part about having a lover, is returning home to the deeper love you share with your partner.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
******************************************************************************************************
THANKS ONCE AGAIN TO THE MARVELOUS BI LEADERS IN NYC’S BI WOMEN OF ALL COLORS GROUP. I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME MEETING YOU ALL ON SUNDAY AND AM LOOKING FORWARD TO WRITING ABOUT THE INCREDIBLE BI-GIRLS I MET. IT WAS SO MUCH FUN AND I WISH I COULD HAVE STAYED LONGER!
*******************************************************************************************************
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING:
ASK MISS BLISS - MY HUSBAND’S NOT COMFORTABLE WITH ME HAVING A GIRLFRIEND
ASK MISS BLISS - A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS - AM I STILL A VIRGIN?
*******************************************************************************************************
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, communication, dating girls, love affairs, lovers, meeting girls, new york |
FIVE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BISEXUALS
Written by Miss Bliss on February 18, 2008 – 11:26 am -Dear Miss Bliss,
I don’t know if I would classify myself as bi. I don’t really know what my sexuality is. I am only 22 years old and have been in a serious relationship for the past three years. I knew I was attracted to girls before I met my current boyfriend. I’ve been lucky in the sense that I can talk to my man openly about my bisexual feelings and he understands. His only rule is that he be allowed to participate.
The only problem is I don’t want him to be there when I have my first experience with a girl. A lot of it is my own insecurity and the other part is I want to experience my first time without an audience.
A year ago, I set out to find a girl to explore my curiosity with and - unbelievably - met someone through Craigslist and we really hit it off. When we finally met in person, I couldn’t believe my luck! Not only was she beautiful, we had so much in common, and there was never an awkward silence between the two of us. We knew right away that we could be great friends.
Towards the end of the date, things got very physical. Needless to say, there was a lot of alcohol involved and we weren’t very careful about what we were doing. We were hooking up in her car outside of my apartment and my boyfriend caught us in the act - naked and everything.
Before I continue, you should know that my boyfriend is a very stereotypical Latin man who is jealous, possessive, immature, but also loving and passionate, and he worships the ground I walk on. He was very hurt that I went out with a girl behind his back and it took a long time and a lot of apologizing to get him to forgive me. In the end, he told me that I could no longer see this girl or even talk to her. He even went as far as calling her and telling her to stay away from me. Of course, she got freaked out and we decided to cool it.
It’s been a year and I have not been able to forget her. The whole incident was devastating to me. Ever since then it’s been hard for me go out without my boyfriend without being grilled about the night extensively when I get home.
A lot of time has passed and my desire to be with a woman is overwhelming. I am constantly asking myself if I even want to be with a man at all. When we’re having sex I find myself fantasizing about being with a woman and that’s how I get off! I’ve tried to convince him to let me have a special “friend” on the side but he’s afraid I will leave him for her, so the same first rule applies: only if he’s involved. And I’m still not comfortable with that.
In a few weeks, I will be moving out of our apartment and I am hoping to use that new freedom to explore what it’s like to really be with a woman. I don’t know that it’s fair to stay in a relationship with him knowing that what I really want is a woman’s touch. However - and I know this sounds selfish - I am afraid to break up with him only to realize I can’t find a decent girl.
Can you give me some advice? Also, do you think what I’m doing is wrong?
xoxox
CAUGHT CHEATING IN THE CAR
Darling Caught Cheating,
It’s not often that I feel sorry for the jealous possessive boyfriend, but your letter has made it happen. It is also very rare that an Ask Miss Bliss letter makes me wonder if all of those negative stereotypes about bisexuals may just be true and accurate. Sweet girl, I know you are young, and I am so glad you wrote to me because you may never be a happy bisexual girl unless you make some changes in your behavior.
FIVE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BISEXUALS THAT YOUR LETTER IS REINFORCING:
1. BISEXUALS ARE CONFUSED
It is fine to be unsure if the labels bi, straight or gay are right for you. However, if you are calling yourself “curious” (and therefore, implying you are bisexual) when you are behaving badly (i.e., lying and cheating on your man) you are teaching him and your lover that bisexuals are liars and cheaters. Stop reinforcing the negative stereotypes we are trying to dismantle and get honest and open in your sexual behavior. There is no need to lie or cheat but you have to be strong to be ethical and honest. Know that the enemy is not your partner wanting to be involved - it is you for not being able to stick to the terms of your relationship!
2. BISEXUALS CANNOT COMMIT
Even though you know that your man is jealous and the two of you have agreed that you will not do anything with a girl “unless he is involved”, you still lie to him. You are not brave enough to break off the relationship to explore your “curiosity” on your own. Instead, you go behind his back on the Internet searching for girls, and even go on a date with a girl and get naked right in front of the apartment you share, and are still mad at him when he can no longer trust you. Do you see how you are reinforcing the negative stereotype that bisexuals cannot be trusted?
3. BISEXUALS THINK BEING WITH A GIRL BEHIND THEIR MAN’S BACK IS NOT CHEATING
Lesbians have a right to be angry and/or suspicious when bisexual woman come on to them in bars because of “curious” girls like you, darling reader. Bi-women who are in serious relationships with men often believe that their man has no right to be jealous when they are with girls because “they wouldn’t leave him for a girl.” Many sincere, kind, sexy lesbians have been toyed around with lying curious-and-not-sure-if-they-are-bi girls who are cheating on men. I am sure your perfect girlfriend was “freaked out” when you’re man called her to tell her to stay away from you - but she was not just freaked out by him. She learned that you were lying to him and to her, and what girl would want to date someone like that? No wonder some lesbians want nothing to do with bi-girls; they have been burned by behavior similar to yours.
4. BI-GIRLS SHOULDN’T HAVE TO INCLUDE THEIR PRIMARY PARTNER
Darling girl, many bi-curious girls say that they want their first time with a girl NOT to involve their partner for two reasons: (1) it is much easier to hook up with a girl when no man is involved, and (2) they do not trust their man enough to share the experience with him. But here, again, is why this type of behavior reinforces negative stereotypes about bisexuals. First, it demonstrates that you do not want to enjoy a lover to DEEPEN your connection with your primary relationship. Second, if your man does not approve of you being alone with a girl for the first time, then anything behind his back is cheating. Just because she is a girl and you think you will not fall in love with her does not make it fair to lie and cheat. What you need to be working on is your relationship with your man. If he will not let you have lovers on the side and you will not include him, then you need to get a therapist and start couples therapy immediately. Or, it may be time to end the relationship because it is obvious you do not respect his needs or his feelings. Don’t reinforce the stereotype that bisexuals cannot have healthy long-term relationships; just get honest.
5. BISEXUALS WANT THEIR CAKE AND TO EAT IT, TOO
According to your letter, you have already had a “first time” with a girl in a car but you now want a second “first time” without your man’s involvement even though you KNOW it will hurt him terribly. In order to do this, you are going to move out of the apartment you share so you will have “easier access” to girls. Well, this is fine except for the fact that you are STILL planning on lying to him because you do not want to end the relationship out of fear of being alone. Darling, this reinforces the stereotype that bisexuals are selfish and only care about their own sexual desires and pleasures. By lying to your man, you are also setting up relationships with women that are based on lies. You WON’T find a healthy relationship with a woman until you are ready to date in an honest and respectful manner.
Darling Reader, there are so many amazing bisexual woman who are honest with themselves, their partners and their lovers. Their lives become happy and drama-free just by being ethical and responsible to the people they love. Be the Bi-Girl You Want to Meet and get honest. It just makes life better and easier.
OXOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, cheating, commitment, communication, couples, craigslist, dating girls, heterosexual, jealousy, lesbian, meeting girls, the first time, undressing girls, virginity |
ASK MISS BLISS - MY BOYFRIEND’S “PUSHING HARD” FOR A THREESOME
Written by Miss Bliss on January 30, 2008 – 2:35 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and he is pushing hard for a threesome. It’s not that I don’t want to try it… I am just shy and a little insecure. I am afraid of being the “odd girl out”. I have always been attracted to women, their shapes and smells… but I have never been past the heavy petting stage. I know that this threesome thing would be fun and that my boyfriend would love it, but how do I get over my inhibitions and just have fun? Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Wallflower
Dearest Wallflower,
At our brunch last Sunday in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Kairrie described the conversation she had with her man before their first threesome. This was not Kairrie’s first group experience. She had been the “guest star” with other couples before, but this was the first time she and her man would invite a lover into their bed. Kairrie asked a foxy friend of hers if she would be up for a night of decadent fun with them, and the friend agreed. Having set the date, Kairrie’s man had many questions for her about the upcoming date.
“Is it all right if I kiss her,” he asked Kairrie.
Kairrie said, of course!
“Alright,” he said. “Now, for the big question. How would you feel if I came in her?”
TALK IN EXPLICIT DETAIL ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN DURING THE THREESOME
I mention this conversation for one main reason. The way to avoid feeling left out is quite simple. Have clear, detailed conversations with your man about what will happen during the threesome. Is it alright if he kisses her? Is it alright if he pleases her orally, or is it only you who will please her? Would you enjoy going down on your man with her? Would it be fun for both of you to please her at the same time with your four hands? Go through every scenario you can think of with your man and fantasize together. The more you talk about ways you can please her together, the less likely anyone will feel left out.
HOW TO “GET OVER” ANY INHIBITIONS
It is your first time and it is perfectly natural that you feel nervous and have inhibitions. The more you talk about the first time during sexual play with your partner, the more you can both get turned on together and help each other be ready for the first actual experience.
If you are worried the girl will not be into you, know that ALL girls worry about this. Your lover will probably be worried that she is not as attractive as you are, because all girls, even the prettiest ones, worry that they are not attractive. The more attention and love you give the other girl, the more she will be relaxed with both of you. The invited lover will need you to make her feel comfortable, and by focusing on her, you will feel less nervous.
Reading erotica is a way to get over inhibitions because you realize you are not the only one with these desires and it will teach you a few tips. Finding a bi-girl friend to talk with in your area is another way you can eliminate fears - by acknowledging them, learning tips to avoid jealousy, and feeling better about yourself, your relationship, and your sensual desires.
THE FIRST THREESOME DOES NOT HAVE TO GO “ALL THE WAY”
Many girls get skittish about having a threesome because they do not want their man to penetrate another woman. This is completely natural and totally acceptable. Many women who join couples do not necessarily want to be penetrated by the other girl’s man, at least the first time. If your man does not understand this, or feels that he “must” penetrate both of you to be satisfied, he is not ready for a group situation. He needs to respect your feelings and should not introduce any sexual elements that are not okay with you first. Remember, a threesome is about bringing the two of you closer together while inviting another lucky soul into the love you share.
IF GUYS DIDN’T “PUSH HARD” FOR SEX, MOST OF US WOULD BE VIRGINS
Now, I know this may sound shocking, but if men did not push girls into sex, we might all be middle-aged virgins wondering what the fuss was about. The question is, is your man pushing you in a good way or in a bad way? Many women have fantasies of being with other women, but do not know how to make the first move or are too scared to. If this is the case, dear Wallflower, and your man is pushing you in a good way, helping you get over your fears and make a real move towards finding a lover, then I have no problem with it. I had a friend who was scared to death of going up to a girl and kissing her, but wanted to desperately. One night at a club, her man got a few drinks in her and told her she had to go over and kiss the girl she was flirting with earlier. She said no, he said yes. He said yes again, more sternly this time, and she felt she “had to kiss her.” She went over to her, told the girl she thought she was pretty and asked if she could kiss her. To her delight, the girl said yes, and they kissed. After, she was euphoric and grateful to her man for “pushing her” just enough.
IF HE’S “PUSHING HARD” AND YOU ARE NOT READY, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
If you are insecure in your relationship and do not trust him to follow the rules you established before the threesome, you two are not ready for a group experience. If he really loves you, he will wait until you are both ready for the experience. As I have written before in the blog, Is Your Man a Deal-Breaker, if he is pushing for penetration with your new lover and does not understand why that should wait, he may not be ready.
FOR MORE TIPS ON AVOIDING PROBLEMS DURING YOUR FIRST THREESOME,
I RECOMMEND RE-READING THESE BLOGS:
ASK MISS BLISS: A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS: A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
XOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
*******************************************************************************************************
THIS SATURDAY NIGHT IN LOS ANGELES BI-GIRL DANCE NIGHT IN WEST HOLLYWOOD
So far we have had a HUGE response to the event and at least 15 girls are coming out to dance the night away.
Want to join us? E-mail me at bliss@blisswarrior.com.
*******************************************************************************************************
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, BLISSWARRIOR NEWS, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, communication, dancing, dating girls, group sex, jealousy, kissing, los angeles, love affairs, lovers, oral sex, the first time, threesomes |
ASK MISS BLISS - SHE’S 12 YEARS YOUNGER & MAKING ME JEALOUS
Written by Miss Bliss on January 17, 2008 – 7:28 am -Dear Miss Bliss,
I am a 37-year-old bi woman who has been in two marriages lasting over 16 years. I am openly dating women and currently have an odd situation I need advice about.
I am dating a woman who is 12 years younger than me who has only been with one woman and two men in her life. Her friends and family don’t know about me and she lives with her best friend of nine years. She admits to having a thing for her roommate/best friend, and I am the jealous type. They have heavy make-out sessions but it has never progressed as she says her roomie isn’t into women.
No one she knows has a clue about us. I’m afraid that if the roommate finds out about us that she may decide that she DOES like girls and take it to the next level and I will be out in the cold.
I just need your advice, Bliss Baby!
XOXOXOXOX
The Jealous Type
Dear Jealous Type,
DOES AGE DIFFERENCE MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP?
More and more women are dating both men and women many years older and many years younger than themselves. I consider this progress because some twenty-somethings are much more mature than others their age, and some thirty, forty and fifty-somethings are much younger. My husband and I have had marvelous relationships with women ten years younger and ten years older. So, to me, it is not important that she is younger than you are.
LACK OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE
Your girl’s lack of sexual experience may be more of an issue than her age. Unlike you, who had two marriages and presumably more experiencing dating, she does not necessarily know how to communicate well with a partner. Have compassion for her negotiating a new bisexual identity, and know that when newly dating, a girl can make mistakes. You can be the example of how a respectful partner nurtures the relationship and she can learn from you.
IF THE ROOMMATE MAKES OUT WITH GIRLS, SHE’S INTO GIRLS
I am not sure if you and your girlfriend have discussed being monogamous, or made any commitments to one another. But for her to tell you not to be jealous when she makes out with her roommate because she is “not into girls”, is absolutely ridiculous. If your girl’s tongue is down her friend’s throat every now and then, the roommate is into girls.
SHE IS NOT TREATING YOU WITH RESPECT
I understand that many bi-women are afraid to come out to their parents and friends, and many never do because they feel they do not have to. Thanks to the heterosexual cloaking device, many bisexuals only share who they are dating with loved ones when they are dating someone of the opposite sex and having a “normal” hetero relationship. The problem here, however, is nobody knows about your relationship and this can easily make you feel threatened. You are right to be concerned about the roommate not knowing about you. Feelings of jealousy are completely natural in this scenario because you know your girlfriend is hiding your relationship, so what else is she hiding? It is good that she is honest with you about her attraction to her roommate, but she has created a scenario where you are left feeling insecure and disrespected.
WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU WANT?
Darling girl, the question you need to ask yourself is, what kind of relationship do you want? A secret affair with a girl with no strings attached? That is what you have now and to continue it, you may need to release jealous feelings and know that the relationship will last as long as it lasts. If you want a committed relationship with a woman, you may have to seek that elsewhere or have constructive conversations with your girl about the relationship you desire. Like men, if the woman has not said that you are exclusively her girlfriend, you are dating and there is no serious commitment. So if you really are the jealous type, a change has to be made. Either you accept that she likes dating you and fooling around with friends, or you change it.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
******************************************************************************************
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ALSO LIKE READING:
ASK MISS BLISS - MY HUSBAND’S JEALOUS
ASK MISS BLISS - TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
ASK MISS BLISS - MAKE MY BRAIN COME
******************************************************************************************
BLISS IS IN MIAMI. LADIES COMING TO BRUNCH THIS SATURDAY, I WILL EMAIL YOU ALL THE LOCATION LATER TONIGHT! IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN US FOR BRUNCH THIS SATURDAY IN MIAMI FOR FRIENDSHIP AND CONVERSATION, EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM.
******************************************************************************************
HAVE A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS?
EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, coming out, communication, dating, dating girls, friends, girls kissing, heterosexual, jealousy, kissing, lovers, women |
ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
Written by Miss Bliss on October 9, 2007 – 12:25 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I’m a semi-newly married (almost a year) 23 year old who waited. My husband and I have openly and honestly discussed our past experiences and our future desires. He’s had a threesome before, but I have only kissed a girl. I am highly intrigued by the thought of having a threesome, but I am nervous because I have some scars that become visible when my clothes come off. I live in the San Diego area and am having a lot of trouble finding a girl for threesomes. It doesn’t help that I’m a tomboy who doesn’t normally get along too well with girls. I’m also afraid I might become jealous if I see my man doing anything to another girl, but I also think it would be a great opportunity for me to learn more about what a girl can do during sex. Do you have any advice before I post on your comments? Thanks, and thank you oh-so-very much for being who you are: a strong, free, life-loving, independent, hot, sexy woman who’s not afraid to be exactly what she is. openly and unashamed by society’s opinions. For that, I thank you.
-Inexperienced, but Curious
Lovely Inexperienced Tomboy,
There are really four questions in your letter:
1. How do I meet bi-girls in the San Diego Area?
2. What do I do about my scars?
3. How does a tomboy find a female lover?
4. How do I handle my jealousy in a threesome?
1. HOW DO I MEET BI-GIRLS IN THE SAN DIEGO AREA?
Since I have already dedicated numerous blogs to question number one (including BE THE BI-GIRL YOU WANT TO MEET), I am going to skip that and move right on to questions 2, 3 and 4.
2. WHAT DO I DO ABOUT MY SCARS?
Naturally it depends on where your scars are and what kind of scars you have, but creative lingerie layering may be the answer for you. With stockings, garters and a lace babydoll, you can be incredibly sexy while covering scars in the process.
You already have a man who is crazy about your gorgeous body. Your scars have not kept you from love, yet, and this should not be different with a girl. If you find a female lover who you connect with, share your fears with her. You may be surprised to learn that she is insecure to show you her body, too. Many girls are afraid to be nude around one another because they expect girls to be harsh critics of their physique. From birth, we girls have been taught to judge one another by who’s the prettiest, the thinnest, the fittest, etc, but bi-girls are changing this trend by ADORING the women around them and LOVING their bodies.
3. HOW DOES A TOMBOY FIND A FEMALE LOVER?
Many bi-girls, including myself, say that when they were younger they often got along better with boys than girls and considered themselves to be tomboys. If you are interested in finding a super femme lover, I recommend that you begin experimenting with your femme side. Lingerie is a great way to maintain the tomboy on the outside and the super femme secret on the inside. How does it feel to go to work knowing there’s lace under your cargo pants? How fun is it to strip out of your jeans for some fishnets for around the house? Find your femme side but love your strong, independent, fun tomboy side.
On the other hand, tomboys are sexy to many girls. Perhaps you need to know that some girls adore women in men’s briefs and a wife beater. The point I am getting at here, is the more you love who you are right now in this very moment, the more attractive you will be to everyone. Love attracts love, so don’t worry about being a tomboy and enjoy being you! Your man certainly loves you and girls will, too.
4. HOW TO HANDLE JEALOUSY IN A THREESOME
THE 2 ON 1 RULE - The easiest way to avoid jealousy in a threesome is the 2 on 1 rule. What this means is two lovers focus on the other’s pleasure. For example, if you are inviting a new friend into your bed, you and your husband would please the girl first together. This brings you and your man close together because you are both concentrating your energy on pleasing your lover. If this goes well, she and he can then focus on you. And if this goes well, the two girls can please the man. Jealousy is often caused when one person feels left out. This rule helps keep everyone engaged, touching, and together in bliss.
THE SECRET SIGNAL - Develop a secret signal that will let your partner know something feels wrong to you. This could be a series of taps on your man’s hand, or a certain finger being pulled, anything that you two have agreed upon. This also allows your man to be able to notify you if something does not feel right to him. Remember you have a guest over and it is your duty to make your lover feel safe and comfortable. Do not give the secret signal then have a fight in front of her. Be courteous and chill and know that you and your man will discuss what happened after she leaves.
VETO POWER - Both you and your man reserve veto power, meaning if something is wrong, and the “signal” did not fix the problem, the threesome should end. Again, be incredibly thoughtful and kind to your lover. Jealousy is worked out over time. We do not always know what will make us jealous until it happens, so couples in open relationships need to be prepared to feel it, face it, and talk about it. In the early years of my relationship, jealousy would arise once in awhile, but when it did, my husband and I would talk it through and it brought us closer together.
DECIDE WITH YOUR PARTNER WHAT IS OKAY AND WHAT IS NOT OKAY FIRST -
Planning your threesome before it happens is a way to ensure no one becomes jealous. If you are not okay with your man penetrating the girl, work this out ahead of time. If he is not willing to have an encounter that is only kissing and touching, maybe he is not ready. Remember, the threesome is about bringing you two closer together, so focus on what will please both of you. Is it both of you going down on her together, which can be really fun for novice girls, or is it both of you giving a lover a massage? Remember, the more you know and trust your man, and clearly understand the sexual expectations you both have for the night, the better your experience will be.
DEAR READERS,
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE POSTED YESTERDAY, BUT OUR WONDERFUL 17 YEAR OLD CAT WENT INTO INTENSIVE CARE LAST NIGHT, AND WE LOST HER THIS MORNING. WE ARE VERY SAD, BUT YOUR EMAILS AND COMMENTS HELP SO MUCH.
XOXOXOXOXOX
BLISS
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, FASHION, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, communication, couples, dating girls, group sex, jealousy, lingerie, love affairs, lovers, marriage, meeting girls, san diego, threesomes, undressing girls |
ASK MISS BLISS: A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
Written by Miss Bliss on October 1, 2007 – 4:34 pm -
Dear Miss Bliss,
May I ask a question?
Well, I am embarrassed to ask but I will be having my first encounter with a couple very soon.. And this will be both of our first times… Can you give me some pointers? We know we want to do this … Just nervous I guess…
xoxoxoxo
Nervous & New
ADVICE FOR YOUR FIRST THREESOME
DATE BEFORE STRIPPING OFF YOUR CLOTHES
1. First off, there is no reason to rush into sex. It is incredibly important to have a date or two where no sex happens, and the three of you get a chance to develop sexual tension and chemistry. Dates also give you the opportunity to talk about the couple’s previous experiences, about fantasies you have had, and how the three of you envision the threesome. To meet the right couple for your first threesome is a big deal. Enjoy the flirting, the excitement, the thrill of dating. This always makes the sex better because the three of you have connected emotionally and have replaced nervousness with excitement.
HOT THREESOMES DON’T HAVE TO INCLUDE SEX
2. Threeway intimacy does not have to be sexual. Plan a night where the man gives you and his woman foot massages while the two of you hold hands and drink wine in front of the fire. Sometimes nights like this can be more intense and moving than a sexual encounter.
WHEN YOU CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER…
3. After a flirty date or two, after erotic emails have been sent and received…
When all three of you are impatient to hold one another…
When you just can’t take it any longer but must devour one another….
This is when you schedule the encounter. But be smart, and make sure it is on a night when you have lots of time to get ready and you will not have to get up early the next day.
COMMUNICATE YOUR SEXUAL BOUNDARIES
4. Know what you want to do sexually, and what you do not want to do, and make sure to express your boundaries to the couple before the encounter. Among adults, there is no excuse for misunderstandings due to lack of communication. Before the tryst, send the girl an email detailing what you are looking forward to and what you are not comfortable with just yet. Encourage her to tell you what the couple’s boundaries are, too, because some girls are not ready for you to “go all the way” with their men. The more clearly the three of you lay out what you want, the less likely jealousy or hurt will arise.
TO SLEEP OVER OR TO GO HOME
5. If you do not want to sleep over at the couple’s place, tell them before.
If you would like to stay over, make sure to ask via email first and do not be upset if they are not ready for you to crash. Sometimes a couple needs to process the encounter afterwards by themselves. Be respectful of this need.
DRESS FOR THE GIRL
6. Buy some killer lingerie. You are dating a girl, and girls love lingerie, and bi-girl’s especially love their female lovers in lace, bows, garters and stockings. Plan your outfit so your lingerie is the same or a similar color as your dress. It is especially sexy to wear a dress or skirt that reveals your garters when you sit. Little peeks of skin will drive your lovers crazy. Remember, all of the details are important because girls notice them! (I highly recommend reading my blog on layering lingerie, if you aren’t a lingerie girl… It’s called “Unwrap Your Present“.) The prettier you feel in your underwear, the more comfortable you will be taking off your clothes!
PRIMP YOURSELF
7. On the day of the date, take a long, luxurious bath. If you aren’t waxed (which I highly recommend), do all of your shaving and primping. Make sure you feel like every bit of you smells heavenly, because this will give you confidence around a girl. Nothing is better than having a girl hold you, breathe in your hair, and tell you how amazing you smell. Do your nails, or have them done, and make sure to dip your toes in hot, shiny colors that pop. Wear jewelry that works with both your clothes and your lingerie that does not need to come off (this helps you from losing earrings!). Make sure to have condoms (although this is the couple’s responsibility, in my book) just in case. If you are a girl that worries she may not be able to come without her vibrator, bring it along and give it to the girl when it is the right time.
BE THE GIRL’S LOVER
8