TOO YOUNG FOR MONOGAMY - Tales From the Seattle Brunch
Written by Miss Bliss on August 11, 2008 – 6:58 am -“I’m in an open relationship,” says Geneva.
Eight bisexual women have come together for brunch, community and friendship on a rare sunny day in Seattle. This is my first trip to the great state of Washington, and in the last twenty-four hours I have fallen in love with Seattle’s mountains, hills, trees, and clean sparkling air. During brunch, the city woos me even more by introducing me to seven beautiful, bright and beguiling bi-women.
“You are,” asks Sadie, the blonde with perfectly painted dark eyes. “I’m jealous.”
“How is that working out for you,” asks the tall brunette, Nicole, sitting across from me.
“Well, we were monogamous the first year we dated. I think it’s important to establish a relationship first before opening it up. But we’re both in our early twenties and we knew when we first met that we were way too young to be strictly monogamous.”
“I don’t like to share,” says Sadie. “Being with a couple is one thing, but being in a couple and bringing in another? I couldn’t do it.”
“So you both date other people separately,” I ask. “Other girls I know who are in open relationships often say the funny thing about it, is the more you date other people, the more you appreciate your relationship and the less you want to date others.”
“It’s funny you mention that,” says Geneva, looking at me with her clear, bright eyes and pretty freckled skin. “My man will meet one of the guys I am dating and he’ll tell me later, ‘That guy’s not up to your level.’ He does it in a really sweet way, too. It isn’t like he’s trying to put down the guy out of jealousy, he truly wants me to be with men who respect and appreciate me.”
“I’m jealous,” says Sadie. “I want that!”
“Well, darling, anyone as cute as you are, anytime,” Geneva says with a flirtatious smile, completely in her power.
“Me, too,” says Nicole with a fetching smile.
“It isn’t easy. You have to communicate a lot for it to work. I mean, sure, I have buttons that can be pushed and I can get jealous. Like if he dates a petite blonde - everything I am not - it’s hard not to feel a little jealous. But you talk about it, work through it, and grow. So far, it’s worked for us.”
This is why I enjoy bringing bisexual women together for conversation, friendship and support. Some of the girls who came to the brunch are monogamous, others are in open relationships, and some are looking for a combination of both. Simply meeting other women who are creating successful new kinds of committed relationships helps girls to realize there are many options for love. Although some bi-women are content with traditional monogamous relationships, others are searching for something more. By taking a risk and inviting strangers to brunch, bi-women are finding each other and discovering supportive friends.
As always, after the brunch I received over 30 e-mails from Seattle girls who want to attend the next event in Seattle. If you are in Seattle, and curious about meeting other bi-girls, I encourage you to join the private, free community site the Bliss Warrior team built this year, Hotel Bliss. Seattle girls are checking in and would like to meet you. (CLICK HERE to apply for membership.)
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING ABOUT OTHER BLISS BRUNCHES:
NOT SEEKING BARBIE - Tales From the San Diego Brunch
WHY INVITING BI-GIRLS TO BRUNCH IS THE BEST
FROM TOMBOYS TO FAB FEMME GIRLS - TALES FROM TORONTO, PART 1
GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE A BI-GIRL FRIEND
AN ODD PLACE TO MEET A BI-GIRL
THE STRANGE FOLKS ON CRAIGSLIST
THERE IS NO “ONE-TYPE” OF BI-GIRL
SHE’S A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND SHE’S PACKIN’
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE
MY MOM OUTED ME OVER THANKSGIVING DINNER
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TOMORROW ON BLISS WARRIOR: OUR GUEST BLOGGER, V., RETURNS WITH PART FOUR OF HER SERIALIZED BLOG, AND THEN THERE WERE TWO. THE TRUE STORY OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MAN AND THE WOMEN HE INTRODUCED HER TO.
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A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE MARVELOUS LACIVIOUS FOR HOSTING YET ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL BRUNCH FOR BI-GIRLS IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO. WE LOVE YOU, DARLING, FOR BRINGING BEAUTIFUL BI-WOMEN TOGETHER FOR FRIENDSHIP, COMMUNITY AND FLIRTATIOUS FUN!
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, BLISSWARRIOR NEWS, HOTEL BLISS, RELATIONSHIPS, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, commitment, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, flirting, friends, jealousy, meeting girls, open relationships, seattle |
ASK MISS BLISS – SHE’S MAD BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND AND I WENT ALL THE WAY
Written by Miss Bliss on July 16, 2008 – 11:50 am -
Dear Miss Bliss,
I know you’re extremely busy, but I would be very interested to get some advice from you. I have been with my girlfriend for about five months now and things were going great until a couple days ago when she emailed me an angry letter:
“You sleeping with my boyfriend was NOT part of the deal. Obviously, the two of us didn’t talk about this before I had you come over. He said if I found a girl I liked enough to be my girlfriend that he didn’t mind. He said he’d enjoy watching, which I didn’t mind. I also wouldn’t have minded if he just played with you only using his hands and tongue. No weiner allowed! After you left the other night, I told him I felt horrible that he would actually have ‘sex’ with someone else. He told me to deal with it or you aren’t allowed over.”
She has a boyfriend and yes, all three of us had sex with one another. I preferred only to be with her, but I thought that it was just the agreement they had with each other, so I dealt with it. Well, now, after five months, she comes back and says she never wanted that to happen and the only way I can come over there is if he can have me, as well. So I don’t know what to do. I love her but I don’t want her to be upset because he wants to have sex with me, too.
Thanks for listening,
Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught in the Middle,
1. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
First, you did everything right. To be with her, you had to be with her boyfriend, too. Even though you preferred to have her all to yourself, you understood she was in a relationship and tried to respect their rules.
2. COUPLES NEED TO DIRECTLY COMMUNICATE THEIR “RULES” TO THEIR LOVER BEFORE PROBLEMS ARISE
As your lover wrote, she and her boyfriend did not clearly discuss what was “part of the deal” before you came over. She did not tell him or you that she was uncomfortable with penetration. If she had, I am certain you would not have gone anywhere near his “weiner.” But she didn’t, and seems to blame you for not reading her mind and stopping the intercourse from happening. This is her fault and if she is angry, she should be angry at herself for not communicating her needs better.
3. CAN YOU BE WITH THEM AND NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HIM?
According to her letter, the two of them want something different. She wants to continue having threesomes, just without you and the boyfriend having intercourse. It seems he wants the sex to continue as it is. Obviously, dear reader, you have a problem. If being with her is important to you, it seems you cannot aggravate the situation by having intercourse with him. However, before you are with them again, you need to clearly tell them both that you do not want to continue having sexual intercourse with him because you do not want to cause tension or jealousy in their relationship.
4. WHAT IF HE STILL WANTS INTERCOURSE DURING THE NEXT THREESOME?
If you clearly communicated to them that you cannot have sexual intercourse during your encounters and he tries to have sex with you again, you may have to end the relationship with both of them. If he can’t respect her wishes or yours, you do not want to be involved with this couple. Sadly, if he acts badly she may just blame you. Some girls will always blame the “other” girl before focusing her anger on her man – even if he deserves it! If this is the case, it may be time to find a new, drama-free girlfriend.
5. NEVER, EVER HAVE SEX WITH A MAN JUST TO BE WITH HIS GIRL
I know that it can be very hard to find a female lover who you adore. When that girl is attached to a man, it is incredibly important to remember that you never have to be with her man if you do not want to be. I have heard some bi-girls say that they will “take one for the team” to be with a girl (meaning they will sleep with the boyfriend even when she does not want to.) Sexual intercourse is a sacred, loving ritual and should only be shared with partners you truly adore. Do not have sex with him just to be with her. It will only bring you drama.
OXXOXOXOXOOX
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING OTHER ASK MISS BLISS COLUMNS:
ASK MISS BLISS - A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
ASK MISS BLISS - MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
ASK MISS BLISS - WHAT TO DO WITH UNEXPRESSED DESIRES
ASK MISS BLISS - TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
ASK MISS BLISS - MY BOYFRIEND’S PUSHING HARD FOR A THREESOME
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GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, group sex, intercourse, jealousy, love affairs, lovers |
FOLLOW MY RULES - PART I
Written by Miss Bliss on April 25, 2008 – 9:57 am - ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORY TO HELP YOU SLEEP A LITTLE SOUNDER…
You study them both with curious eyes. She is adorable, a little older than you, but with a youthful glow and energy that makes you like her. He is harder to read. You aren’t sure if he is nervous, angry, or just doesn’t know how to act. Deciding he must just be uncomfortable, you lose a little respect for him and even more desire. Turning back to her, she looks at you, smiles broadly and lets out a giggle. With each minute, she is becoming giddy and more beautiful.
You lean back in the maroon leather chair and let your hand finger the stem of your martini glass. “This is what I’d like to do tonight,” you state with an authority that surprises you. “I’m ready to go home with you both, if you follow my rules.”
“Tonight?” Her voice is full of eagerness. “I thought you said you just wanted to meet us tonight. I didn’t know you’d want to…” Her voice trails off and she looks at her husband.
“What are your rules,” he asks with a gruff voice. Obviously, he is not used to someone else leading the game. Or, maybe, he has never been challenged by a women. She seems like the type who lets him make decisions and his unease makes you feel even more in control.
Speaking slowly, with a voice no mortal could resist, you say, “I’ll come home with you both, but this is the scenario I envision.” You look right into his eyes, “I want the two of us to destroy her together.”
“Destroy me?” She lets out an involuntary gasp and blushes.
“Yes. I want to him and I to take turns making you come over and over again.”
“That sounds wonderful!” A lock of black curly hair falls into her eyes and she is more desirable than in the pictures she sent online.
“What are your rules,” he asks again, sensing a threat.
You don’t like him which makes this easy for you. Sure, he is probably a great guy for her - she seems to love him or at least likes to say she does – and he is attractive in a tough guy kind of way, but being his lover is utterly unappealing. “You are not allowed to touch me and I am not allowed to touch you. She can touch both of us and we both can touch her. Those are my rules.”
There is a silence while she looks at him wondering if he is hurt. But you know men a little better than she does, or you think you do. You have thrown down a glove and are asking him if he is man enough to accept your challenge. Will he duel to see who can please this dark-haired beauty more?
A wry smile crosses his face and for a second, you see the handsomeness she must see. “If my wife agrees to the rules, I will agree.”
She is surprised to be the final vote in this proposition. “Are you sure,” she asks him quietly, “because we do not have to…”
You love seeing how awkward you have made them and it emboldens you. “This deal is only good tonight. I can’t predict how I’ll feel tomorrow.”
A look of anger mixed with curiosity flashes across his face but you are not scared. Feeling like you are able to predict every one of his emotional reactions, you smile. They are both yours and for a night, you will own them. You know it even before he nods and says to his wife, “It’s up to you.”
“It could be fun, right?”
“It will be fun for you,” he says, but there is no jealousy or malice in his voice. He understands that this encounter will not be the threesome they imagined or hoped for, but the rules are creating a newer dynamic that might be hotter than any fantasy. He smiles that almost-handsome smile once more and looks right into your eyes. “Don’t think you can please her better than I can, because if you do, it will be a disappointing night for you.”
“I am not worried about being disappointed at all.” You pick up her hands across the café table and take her index finger into your mouth, your eyes on his the entire time. In the middle of the darkened, crowded room, you begin sucking her finger in and out, saying to him with your eyes, “You won’t get to feel these lips on you tonight.” She lets out a muffled moan and he takes her other hand. Placing his hand in her lap under the table, you soon realize he is under her skirt and touching her as you toy with her finger. No one else in the restaurant seems to notice.
Her eyes show panic; being out in a public establishment and being sexually overtaken, frightens her. “This is so nice, but can we pay and go?” Her voice is breathy and nervous.
“Not until you come,” he commands with a lifted eyebrow. He wants to make her come first, even if it means bringing her to a climax in a public place.
This annoys you and you remove her finger from your mouth. “Let me watch,” you say. “I’ll play lookout.”
You are in the back corner of the café and even though the tables are filled with people, your back does conceal them from the other patrons. His arm moves faster, and shakes the table at times. You aren’t particularly interested in what he is doing to her, but her face is fascinating to you. Trying to resist, wanting to succumb, embarrassed and scared she’ll be discovered, overwhelmed with desire and a passion to break all the rules – she is the most beautifully conflicted creature you have seen.
Soon the shaking moves up her body and her shoulders begin to rock, her breaths are quicker, less controlled and her eyes close. Lost in the vibration of his hands, she is in another world, until a large shudder shakes her whole body and the table and you have to catch your drink.
Soon she is quiet and her body is still, again. He withdraws his hand and smiles at you, silently asking, “Can you make her come that fast?”
He thinks he has control again, and you don’t like this. “Put your fingers in her mouth,” you command. “I want her to taste herself.”
Looking at you with a competitive eye, he places two fingers in her mouth and she sucks at them hungrily. His eyes stay on you.
“Shall we get the check,” you say, pleased to be in a powerful place once again. “I think it’s time to take this girl home.”
With his left hand he signals for the check, while his right two fingers remain buried in her lips. By challenging him, he has lost all sense of where he is. If you pushed him a little more, he may just fuck her right on the table.
Smiling, you cannot wait to see what this night will bring.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING OTHER EROTICA BY BLISS WARRIOR:
CAPTIVATING THE COLLEGE GIRL PART ONE, PART TWO, AND PART THREE
TOUCHING UNDER THE TABLE
WAKE ME UP WITH YOUR TONGUE
YOU MADE MY BRAIN COME
LEARNING TO LOVE STRAP-ONS
ONE FRENCH AFTERNOON
WALKING HOME IN HER PANTIES
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HOTEL BLISS IS UP AND WORKING! WANT TO MEET OTHER BI-GIRLS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM WITH A PICTURE OR A LINK TO YOUR MYSPACE PAGE AND JOIN THE SLUMBER PARTY!
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, EROTIC FICTION, FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORIES, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, couples, dating, group sex, jealousy, lovers, marriage, threesomes |
OUT WITH THE STRAIGHT FRIENDS
Written by Miss Bliss on April 14, 2008 – 2:53 pm -
“How’s your blog going?”
The question takes me off-guard. It is Saturday night and my man and I are out having drinks with his coworker, Maria, her fiancé and their friends, a lovely couple that just moved to L.A. from the east coast.
“It’s going great,” I say, while trying to remember what I told Maria the blog is about. Did I say it was a health and nutrition site? Or did I describe it as a sex blog with tips for women to improve their relationships?
“She has fans all around the country who invite her to brunch with them,” Maria says with a lovely smile.
So, Maria knows about the brunches. Maybe my man told her all about Bliss Warrior but forgot to tell me that she knows? Did I tell her at some work party when I had one too many cocktails in me? This is one of those awkward moments where being half-closeted becomes a problem.
“What is your blog about,” asks Maria’s blonde friend with a slight eastern European accent.
Since I cannot remember what story Maria was told about the blog, I decide to opt for honesty. I look at my man and he nods, letting me know he’s comfortable with my sharing the truth. “The blog is for bisexual women. There are so many bi-girls out there who feel alone or who don’t know any other bisexuals, so I created a blog to empower girls and show them how amazing our bi culture is.”
From the look on Maria’s face I can tell she is surprised. To cover her shock, I tell her man and her friends about the amazing bi-girls I have met around the country, the wonderful letters I receive, and the community site I’m building to bring together bi-women for friendship, conversation, support and fun.
The conversation stays on my blog for a few minutes, then turns back to rare films and under-appreciated big budget flops. Under the table, my man squeezes my hand. No one freaked out, got tense, or treated us any differently than before. Maria smiles at me and I know she is truly seeing me for the first time.
1. IT’S GOOD TO TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE BI BECAUSE IT CHALLENGES STEREOTYPES
Many bi-girls do not come out to their friends because they are afraid of their friends’ reactions. The side benefit of Bliss Warrior becoming a full-time job is it has forced me to come out to people I normally would not come out to. By coming out to more and more straight friends, I have discovered with delight that many are fascinated by the culture and find me more interesting because of my sexuality. If you do not know any bi-girls, imagine how it must be for your straight friends. By coming out to them, I am helping to dissolve negative stereotypes about bisexuals while reaffirming how proud I am to be who I am.
2. IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP, MAKE SURE YOU’RE PARTNER IS ALRIGHT WITH YOU COMING OUT
If you are in a relationship with a man or a woman, it is important that you make sure it is okay with them if you come out to friends. In my story, Maria is not just a straight friend, but my husband’s coworker. It would have been unfair to come out to her if I did not check with him first. Even though many bisexuals are monogamous in their relationships, many heterosexuals will assume if you are a bi-girl, you and your man must be into group sex. This is why it is essential to put your partner’s comfort above your need to be “honest” or “out” at all times. The last thing I would ever want to do is set up a situation where my man’s working relationships were harmed or made awkward.
3. IT IS MUCH EASIER TO COME OUT TO STRAIGHT FRIENDS WHEN YOU HAVE A BI COMMUNITY
Since creating Bliss Warrior, I have met bi-women all over the country – some in person, some over the Internet – and I know I am a part of a wonderful, dynamic, strong, ethical community. Knowing there are other smart and committed bi-girls makes it easier to face down negative assumptions about bisexuals. Plus, if I am hurt by an insensitive comment, I now have a group of bi-friends who understand and can offer support. If you are thinking of coming out to your friends, I recommend you develop a few strong bi-friendships first. The friendships can be online and will offer you strength if your straight friends freak out.
4. USE DISCRETION WHEN YOU COME OUT TO STRAIGHT FRIENDS. SOME WILL BE FASCINATED WHILE OTHERS WILL NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT AT ALL.
I have met bi-women who are out to everyone they know and I applaud them. But for some of us, especially those of us who are in committed relationships with men, it is sometimes difficult to be out to our co-workers, relatives and straight friends. Bisexuality is tricky to many because it is not only threatening that you are “part gay” but it is also threatening because you may be “part non-monogamous” which is incredibly scary to some people. One bi-girl was forced out of her job after a coworker showed her myspace page to her boss. We cannot pretend that everyone will instantly applaud us for being out and bi. What we can do, is find the people we can tell, build a strong community so we can be more visible and better understood, and be good, ethical, honest people.
5. JUST BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU ARE BI DOES NOT MEAN THEY WANT TO HEAR ALL THE JUICY DETAILS
Your private sex life is not necessarily of interest to all people. Friday night, I was interviewed for a web-radio relationship show. The host was shocked that I was not out to my parents. I said to her, “I am in a committed long-term relationship to a man. To my parents we are a happy, relatively normal heterosexual couple. Both of our parents are very conservative when it comes to sex. I wouldn’t talk to them about the sex I have with my man, and they certainly don’t want to hear about it. So how would it benefit me if I told them I was bi?” When thinking about who to share the hot details of your latest threesome take a moment and ask yourself, “Does this person want to hear these details?” You may even ask them that directly before you launch into the fantastically naughty details. Just as you would be discrete about who you shared your anal sex adventures with, be discrete about your bi trysts. Or, even better, share them with a bi-girlfriend who will definitely understand and enjoy the conversation. The world is changing fast, and who knows? Soon, more of your straight friends might just ask you to tell them everything.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:
WHEN YOU’RE STRAIGHT FRIENDS FIND OUT
THE HETEROSEXUAL CLOAKING DEVICE
BOYFRIENDS WHO CAN’T HANDLE BI-GIRLS
BI FROM BIRTH? OR, MY BARBIE’S SEXUALLY DEVIANT
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BRUNCH WITH BLISS THIS SATURDAY IN WEST HOLLYWOOD!
WE HAVE OVER 15 BI-GIRLS COMING OUT TO BRUNCH THIS WEEKEND.
SOME ARE BRINGING PARTNERS, SOME ARE COMING WITH FRIENDS.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US?
E-MAIL CAMMIE ON MY TOP FRIENDS ON MYSPACE.COM/THEBLISSWARRIOR OR EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM FOR THE TIME AND LOCATION.
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TOMORROW:
OUR NEWEST GUEST BLOGGER, V., JOINS US FROM NEW YORK WITH THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A TRUE STORY: THEN THERE WERE TWO. MISS V. SHARES THE PASSIONATE STORY OF THE PERIOD OF HER LIFE WHEN SHE DATED A MAN WHILE DATING HIS FEMALE COLLEAGUE WITH HIS PERMISSION AND ENCOURAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS!
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, BLISSWARRIOR NEWS, RELATIONSHIPS, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, brunch, coming out, couples, monogamy |
FIVE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BISEXUALS
Written by Miss Bliss on February 18, 2008 – 11:26 am -Dear Miss Bliss,
I don’t know if I would classify myself as bi. I don’t really know what my sexuality is. I am only 22 years old and have been in a serious relationship for the past three years. I knew I was attracted to girls before I met my current boyfriend. I’ve been lucky in the sense that I can talk to my man openly about my bisexual feelings and he understands. His only rule is that he be allowed to participate.
The only problem is I don’t want him to be there when I have my first experience with a girl. A lot of it is my own insecurity and the other part is I want to experience my first time without an audience.
A year ago, I set out to find a girl to explore my curiosity with and - unbelievably - met someone through Craigslist and we really hit it off. When we finally met in person, I couldn’t believe my luck! Not only was she beautiful, we had so much in common, and there was never an awkward silence between the two of us. We knew right away that we could be great friends.
Towards the end of the date, things got very physical. Needless to say, there was a lot of alcohol involved and we weren’t very careful about what we were doing. We were hooking up in her car outside of my apartment and my boyfriend caught us in the act - naked and everything.
Before I continue, you should know that my boyfriend is a very stereotypical Latin man who is jealous, possessive, immature, but also loving and passionate, and he worships the ground I walk on. He was very hurt that I went out with a girl behind his back and it took a long time and a lot of apologizing to get him to forgive me. In the end, he told me that I could no longer see this girl or even talk to her. He even went as far as calling her and telling her to stay away from me. Of course, she got freaked out and we decided to cool it.
It’s been a year and I have not been able to forget her. The whole incident was devastating to me. Ever since then it’s been hard for me go out without my boyfriend without being grilled about the night extensively when I get home.
A lot of time has passed and my desire to be with a woman is overwhelming. I am constantly asking myself if I even want to be with a man at all. When we’re having sex I find myself fantasizing about being with a woman and that’s how I get off! I’ve tried to convince him to let me have a special “friend” on the side but he’s afraid I will leave him for her, so the same first rule applies: only if he’s involved. And I’m still not comfortable with that.
In a few weeks, I will be moving out of our apartment and I am hoping to use that new freedom to explore what it’s like to really be with a woman. I don’t know that it’s fair to stay in a relationship with him knowing that what I really want is a woman’s touch. However - and I know this sounds selfish - I am afraid to break up with him only to realize I can’t find a decent girl.
Can you give me some advice? Also, do you think what I’m doing is wrong?
xoxox
CAUGHT CHEATING IN THE CAR
Darling Caught Cheating,
It’s not often that I feel sorry for the jealous possessive boyfriend, but your letter has made it happen. It is also very rare that an Ask Miss Bliss letter makes me wonder if all of those negative stereotypes about bisexuals may just be true and accurate. Sweet girl, I know you are young, and I am so glad you wrote to me because you may never be a happy bisexual girl unless you make some changes in your behavior.
FIVE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BISEXUALS THAT YOUR LETTER IS REINFORCING:
1. BISEXUALS ARE CONFUSED
It is fine to be unsure if the labels bi, straight or gay are right for you. However, if you are calling yourself “curious” (and therefore, implying you are bisexual) when you are behaving badly (i.e., lying and cheating on your man) you are teaching him and your lover that bisexuals are liars and cheaters. Stop reinforcing the negative stereotypes we are trying to dismantle and get honest and open in your sexual behavior. There is no need to lie or cheat but you have to be strong to be ethical and honest. Know that the enemy is not your partner wanting to be involved - it is you for not being able to stick to the terms of your relationship!
2. BISEXUALS CANNOT COMMIT
Even though you know that your man is jealous and the two of you have agreed that you will not do anything with a girl “unless he is involved”, you still lie to him. You are not brave enough to break off the relationship to explore your “curiosity” on your own. Instead, you go behind his back on the Internet searching for girls, and even go on a date with a girl and get naked right in front of the apartment you share, and are still mad at him when he can no longer trust you. Do you see how you are reinforcing the negative stereotype that bisexuals cannot be trusted?
3. BISEXUALS THINK BEING WITH A GIRL BEHIND THEIR MAN’S BACK IS NOT CHEATING
Lesbians have a right to be angry and/or suspicious when bisexual woman come on to them in bars because of “curious” girls like you, darling reader. Bi-women who are in serious relationships with men often believe that their man has no right to be jealous when they are with girls because “they wouldn’t leave him for a girl.” Many sincere, kind, sexy lesbians have been toyed around with lying curious-and-not-sure-if-they-are-bi girls who are cheating on men. I am sure your perfect girlfriend was “freaked out” when you’re man called her to tell her to stay away from you - but she was not just freaked out by him. She learned that you were lying to him and to her, and what girl would want to date someone like that? No wonder some lesbians want nothing to do with bi-girls; they have been burned by behavior similar to yours.
4. BI-GIRLS SHOULDN’T HAVE TO INCLUDE THEIR PRIMARY PARTNER
Darling girl, many bi-curious girls say that they want their first time with a girl NOT to involve their partner for two reasons: (1) it is much easier to hook up with a girl when no man is involved, and (2) they do not trust their man enough to share the experience with him. But here, again, is why this type of behavior reinforces negative stereotypes about bisexuals. First, it demonstrates that you do not want to enjoy a lover to DEEPEN your connection with your primary relationship. Second, if your man does not approve of you being alone with a girl for the first time, then anything behind his back is cheating. Just because she is a girl and you think you will not fall in love with her does not make it fair to lie and cheat. What you need to be working on is your relationship with your man. If he will not let you have lovers on the side and you will not include him, then you need to get a therapist and start couples therapy immediately. Or, it may be time to end the relationship because it is obvious you do not respect his needs or his feelings. Don’t reinforce the stereotype that bisexuals cannot have healthy long-term relationships; just get honest.
5. BISEXUALS WANT THEIR CAKE AND TO EAT IT, TOO
According to your letter, you have already had a “first time” with a girl in a car but you now want a second “first time” without your man’s involvement even though you KNOW it will hurt him terribly. In order to do this, you are going to move out of the apartment you share so you will have “easier access” to girls. Well, this is fine except for the fact that you are STILL planning on lying to him because you do not want to end the relationship out of fear of being alone. Darling, this reinforces the stereotype that bisexuals are selfish and only care about their own sexual desires and pleasures. By lying to your man, you are also setting up relationships with women that are based on lies. You WON’T find a healthy relationship with a woman until you are ready to date in an honest and respectful manner.
Darling Reader, there are so many amazing bisexual woman who are honest with themselves, their partners and their lovers. Their lives become happy and drama-free just by being ethical and responsible to the people they love. Be the Bi-Girl You Want to Meet and get honest. It just makes life better and easier.
OXOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, cheating, commitment, communication, couples, craigslist, dating girls, heterosexual, jealousy, lesbian, meeting girls, the first time, undressing girls, virginity |
SHARING THE SAME SPERM: A LOVE STORY
Written by Miss Bliss on February 6, 2008 – 4:37 pm -
“Darling, girl,” I said to her, “I cannot wait for your book to come out.”
While my husband and I were in Miami, we had the pleasure of dining with our good friend, Andrea Askowitz and her beautiful new girlfriend, Victoria. We first met Andrea in Los Angeles while she was pregnant, single, and writing her upcoming memoir, My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy.
“May 1, 2008 is the due date. I’m finally having a book,” Andrea said. Curly haired and fiercely funny, Andrea’s book chronicles her artificial insemination and lonely pregnancy as a single mother-to-be.
“When we first met,” said Victoria with a sexy Spanish accent, “I just fell in love with Andrea, and her daughter is so gorgeous! Such a sweet girl.”
“Her daughter is beautiful, isn’t she,” I replied.
“We haven’t seen the little one in over a year,” my man said.
“I wish you could have seen her, but it’s good for us to have a night out once in awhile,” said Andrea.
“She amazes us. She’s so smart, so kind… Just the most perfect little girl.” Victoria smiled and touched Andrea’s hair. “You two don’t know how lucky I am to have met Andrea. When I read her book - you know she has that one chapter where she tries to make love to a man who has come to massage her…”
“That is an amazing chapter,” I said, proud to have been in the same writing workshop with Andrea when she read it for the first time. “A lot of people don’t realize that some lesbians occasionally enjoy being with men or even want to be with a man.”
“I know,” Victoria explained. “I read it and said, ‘This is so hot. You have to expand it. I want to hear more!’”
“See,” Andrea said, “Victoria’s like me. A proud Lesbian Bisexual.”
“I read a study somewhere,” I said, “where lesbians, over the course of their lifetime, tend to have more male sexual partners than straight women do.”
“Really,” Andrea asked. “I guess that makes sense.” We threw around some theories as to why that may be true and decided the cool lesbians were more open to all sorts of sexual encounters as they discovered and defined their own sexual identity. Some girls had to experiment with men and women until they found the right partner and the sexual orientation that fit them.
“Did we tell you that Victoria’s trying to get pregnant,” Andrea asked, changing the subject.
“You are? That’s wonderful,” I said.
“Are you being artificially inseminated like Andrea was,” my husband asked.
“Yes,” Victoria said beaming and Andrea kissed her on the cheek. “I’m on the hormones now. We’re using #3342’s sperm.” In Andrea’s memoir, #3342 is an important - albeit absent - character. The tall, brilliant, anonymous sperm donor who Andrea chose to be inseminated with is only referred to in her book (and in her life) as his donor id: #3342. Victoria continued, “Andrea’s daughter and my baby will be siblings! Little did Andrea know when she purchased eight extra vials of #3342’s sperm and froze it, that someday her girlfriend would use it to get pregnant.”
“That is the most romantic and beautiful story I’ve heard,” said my man.
“Isn’t it,” Andrea said with joy.
“It is,” I said smiling. “Do you want to get pregnant again, Andrea?”
“Didn’t you read my book? No way! No more pregnancies for me.”
We laughed as my man and I held each others’ hands, delighted that science had made a new type of family possible.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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INTERESTED IN READING ANDREA ASKOWITZ’S MEMOIR, MY MISERABLE, LONELY, LESBIAN PREGNANCY?
check out her site at andreaaskowitz.com and her blog http://andreaaskowitz.wordpress.com/
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Posted in IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, books, couples, dating girls, girls kissing, lesbian, pregnancy |
BISEXUALS ARE NO LONGER CONFUSED
Written by Miss Bliss on January 23, 2008 – 3:20 pm -Last week, the American Psychological Association announced the findings that bisexual women are not “confused”, or in a transitional phase to become lesbian. According to Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, the bisexual identity is a stable sexual preference and bi women continue to be attracted to both men and women over time.
Now, I know it comes as no surprise to my readers that bi-girls enjoy a sexual orientation that differs from heterosexuals and lesbians, but for the mainstream media, this is a breakthrough. Except for the Kinsey Institute at San Diego State University, there has been little research on bisexual men, and even less on bisexual women. This is the first qualitative, longitudinal study on female bisexuality.
According to USA Today, “Diamond conducted face-to-face interviews around New York state in 1995, when the women (who identified as lesbian, bisexual or unlabeled, but not heterosexual) were ages 18-25. She then spoke with them by phone every two years [for a period of ten years].”
Here are the findings Diamond discovered:
1. BISEXUALITY IS A STABLE IDENTITY
Bi women were more likely to switch between the identities of “bisexual” and/or “unlabeled” than call themselves “lesbian” or “heterosexual”. This is important because it demonstrates that bi-girls in college are not going through a “phase” or a “gateway period” to become lesbians or heterosexuals. If they identified themselves as bi in college or in their early 20s, they continue to identify as bisexual or unlabeled throughout their life, even if they marry men.
2. STRAIGHT GIRLS MAY EXPERIMENT WITH SAME-SEX RELATIONS,
BUT THEY DON’T IDENTIFY AS BI
Some heterosexual girls may experiment with their sexuality during college, playing around with girls and boys, but they tend to identify as “heterosexual” and do not identify as bisexual. So if you are a bi-girl and wondering if the girl who wants to make out with you in a bar is really just a straight girl pulling your chain, you may just want to ask her if she considers herself “hetero”. If she does, she may not be the right girl for you!
3. BI-WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF LONG-TERM, COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS
When someone claims a bi-girl is incapable of committing to one partner, or will sleep with anything that moves, throw these statistics from salon.com back in their face: “The study found that not only were bi women capable of long-term, committed, monogamous relationships, but by the end of the study a greater percentage of bisexual (89 percent) and unlabeled (85 percent) women were in relationships than their lesbian (70 percent) or heterosexual (67 percent) counterparts.” So, being bi might just make you the BEST candidate for a long-term relationship.
Of course, more research needs to be done. Only 79 women participated in the study and the majority were white middle-class women. But the findings seem to accurately describe the marvelous female bisexuals I have known, so I applaud Ms. Diamond’s work.
Last week, The View discussed this study and some Bliss Girls saw it and wrote to me. The news media is still not comfortable believing that a bi-girl who marries a man is still bisexual. They want to argue that the girl has “become straight” and left that part of herself behind. Some bi-girls do find a man and have monogamous relationships, but they still identify as bisexual or unlabeled because they have not turned “hetero”; they have simply found the partner that is right for them. It is the same for bi women in committed lesbian relationships. For a bisexual, the gender is secondary, the person primary. I look forward to the study that demonstrates this truth to the media and the larger culture.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING:
ASK MISS BLISS - HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M BI?
ASK MISS BLISS - MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
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LOS ANGELES BI-GIRL DANCE PARTY IS POSTPONED UNTIL FEB. 2ND
Darling LA Bliss Warriors… I have to go to New Mexico earlier than I thought, and Miss Tiger is swamped at work, as well. Organizing events takes a lot of time and patience, and this week we just can’t do it! But never fear, we will be out on the floor bringing the bi-girl magic next week. I hope you all come! I’ve missed my LA goddesses!!!!
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HAVE A QUESTION FOR MISS BLISS? EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
HAVE A BI EVENT YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO PROMOTE? EMAIL ME!
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, commitment, couples, heterosexual, lesbian, marriage, monogamy, news articles, unlabeled |
ONE FRENCH AFTERNOON - A FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORY
Written by Miss Bliss on January 18, 2008 – 12:09 am -Selma knocks on the door and you let her in. “Don’t you just love French afternoons,” she purrs with dramatic flair. She kisses you on the lips and kisses your man on the cheek. She wanders slowly into the apartment, studying the room while filling it with her ginger and grapefruit scent. She is older than you, more aggressive, and today, she wants to be your lover.Wine is poured and music plays, but there isn’t much time for small talk. Selma came over for a reason and only has an hour or two before she goes. “Dance for me,” she says to you. “Let us watch you and salivate.”
“Let me finish my drink,” you say, unnaturally shy and unexpectedly nervous.
“Take your time,” Selma says with a playful wink. “But don’t take too long.” She pats the sofa, inviting him to sit next to her, and he does. Her arm loops around his neck and you see the delight in her eyes that she gets to have him. She’s waited for him, too, but she can’t show that yet. Since the day you met in a dark candle-lit cafe, the three of you have talked about this moment, and here it is.
The first time with anyone is a little awkward, but something about the light in the afternoon makes you feel more exposed than usual. Normally you are the aggressive one, but Selma has thrown off your game by taking over control. “Dance for us,” she says again.
Downing the glass of Pinot, you slowly step out in front of them. Her eyes on you make you shy. Wearing a lace dress, with promises of good things to come underneath, you begin to move. You try to look at her and are surprised when you can’t maintain eye contact. Closing your eyes, you focus on the bass line and let your hips move back and forth in time. The music envelops you and you forget your audience. You let your hands caress the curves of your body, showing her the path her hands will soon follow. Your long painted fingers find the hem of your dress and you lift it to expose a blue satin slip underneath. You turn your back on them and, slowly, ever-so-slowly, lift the hem of your dress. Pulling the lace over your head, you turn, and toss the dress into her lap. An invitation, do you want more? They whistle, tell you how gorgeous you are, and ask to see more.
Smiling, the nerves have worn off and you feel your power. Still moving to the music, you approach her and take her small hands in yours. She stands and you pull her into you and dance with her while he watches proudly. Turning, you press your back against her warm body, reach behind, and wrap her arms around you. Together you move but this time both of your eyes are on him. Placing your hands over hers, you lead her hands down your back, over your hips, down your thighs, until her fingers find the lacy hem of your slip. She pulls it over your head, turns you to face her, and studies the black corset and stockings.
“You’re an angel,” she says, and kisses you lightly, as if asking permission. Suddenly, your roles have changed: she is no longer the aggressor, you are.
From behind, you feel him press into you and his arms surround both of you. Pulling her closer, the three of you become one: for an afternoon.
Over too soon and yet there are too many perfect images to remember. At the door, you notice the back of her hair is mussy and sticking up. You try to smooth it and she laughs and says, “Only a shower will fix that, but thank you, darling.” You wonder if your doorman will notice. She looks at him and says sincerely, “Thank you both. Until the next time.” She opens the door to go, but then, turns and shuts it just as fast. “I don’t want to leave,” she admits and melts back into both of you.
Closing the door behind her, you embrace your man, kissing his eyes, his nose, and his cheeks. He lifts you into the air and carries you back to bed.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORIES BY BLISS WARRIOR
a little erotic fiction to help you sleep soundly….
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DID YOU MISS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORY?
CLICK HERE TO READ WALKING HOME IN HER PANTIES
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HEY SOUTH BEACH BLISS WARRIORS! TODAY IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO RSVP FOR SATURDAY’S BRUNCH! E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.
Posted in BISEXUALITY, EROTIC FICTION, FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORIES, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, alcohol, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, couples, craigslist, dating, dating girls, erotic photography, girls kissing, group sex, kissing, lingerie, love affairs, lovers, marriage |
ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
Written by Miss Bliss on October 9, 2007 – 12:25 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I’m a semi-newly married (almost a year) 23 year old who waited. My husband and I have openly and honestly discussed our past experiences and our future desires. He’s had a threesome before, but I have only kissed a girl. I am highly intrigued by the thought of having a threesome, but I am nervous because I have some scars that become visible when my clothes come off. I live in the San Diego area and am having a lot of trouble finding a girl for threesomes. It doesn’t help that I’m a tomboy who doesn’t normally get along too well with girls. I’m also afraid I might become jealous if I see my man doing anything to another girl, but I also think it would be a great opportunity for me to learn more about what a girl can do during sex. Do you have any advice before I post on your comments? Thanks, and thank you oh-so-very much for being who you are: a strong, free, life-loving, independent, hot, sexy woman who’s not afraid to be exactly what she is. openly and unashamed by society’s opinions. For that, I thank you.
-Inexperienced, but Curious
Lovely Inexperienced Tomboy,
There are really four questions in your letter:
1. How do I meet bi-girls in the San Diego Area?
2. What do I do about my scars?
3. How does a tomboy find a female lover?
4. How do I handle my jealousy in a threesome?
1. HOW DO I MEET BI-GIRLS IN THE SAN DIEGO AREA?
Since I have already dedicated numerous blogs to question number one (including BE THE BI-GIRL YOU WANT TO MEET), I am going to skip that and move right on to questions 2, 3 and 4.
2. WHAT DO I DO ABOUT MY SCARS?
Naturally it depends on where your scars are and what kind of scars you have, but creative lingerie layering may be the answer for you. With stockings, garters and a lace babydoll, you can be incredibly sexy while covering scars in the process.
You already have a man who is crazy about your gorgeous body. Your scars have not kept you from love, yet, and this should not be different with a girl. If you find a female lover who you connect with, share your fears with her. You may be surprised to learn that she is insecure to show you her body, too. Many girls are afraid to be nude around one another because they expect girls to be harsh critics of their physique. From birth, we girls have been taught to judge one another by who’s the prettiest, the thinnest, the fittest, etc, but bi-girls are changing this trend by ADORING the women around them and LOVING their bodies.
3. HOW DOES A TOMBOY FIND A FEMALE LOVER?
Many bi-girls, including myself, say that when they were younger they often got along better with boys than girls and considered themselves to be tomboys. If you are interested in finding a super femme lover, I recommend that you begin experimenting with your femme side. Lingerie is a great way to maintain the tomboy on the outside and the super femme secret on the inside. How does it feel to go to work knowing there’s lace under your cargo pants? How fun is it to strip out of your jeans for some fishnets for around the house? Find your femme side but love your strong, independent, fun tomboy side.
On the other hand, tomboys are sexy to many girls. Perhaps you need to know that some girls adore women in men’s briefs and a wife beater. The point I am getting at here, is the more you love who you are right now in this very moment, the more attractive you will be to everyone. Love attracts love, so don’t worry about being a tomboy and enjoy being you! Your man certainly loves you and girls will, too.
4. HOW TO HANDLE JEALOUSY IN A THREESOME
THE 2 ON 1 RULE - The easiest way to avoid jealousy in a threesome is the 2 on 1 rule. What this means is two lovers focus on the other’s pleasure. For example, if you are inviting a new friend into your bed, you and your husband would please the girl first together. This brings you and your man close together because you are both concentrating your energy on pleasing your lover. If this goes well, she and he can then focus on you. And if this goes well, the two girls can please the man. Jealousy is often caused when one person feels left out. This rule helps keep everyone engaged, touching, and together in bliss.
THE SECRET SIGNAL - Develop a secret signal that will let your partner know something feels wrong to you. This could be a series of taps on your man’s hand, or a certain finger being pulled, anything that you two have agreed upon. This also allows your man to be able to notify you if something does not feel right to him. Remember you have a guest over and it is your duty to make your lover feel safe and comfortable. Do not give the secret signal then have a fight in front of her. Be courteous and chill and know that you and your man will discuss what happened after she leaves.
VETO POWER - Both you and your man reserve veto power, meaning if something is wrong, and the “signal” did not fix the problem, the threesome should end. Again, be incredibly thoughtful and kind to your lover. Jealousy is worked out over time. We do not always know what will make us jealous until it happens, so couples in open relationships need to be prepared to feel it, face it, and talk about it. In the early years of my relationship, jealousy would arise once in awhile, but when it did, my husband and I would talk it through and it brought us closer together.
DECIDE WITH YOUR PARTNER WHAT IS OKAY AND WHAT IS NOT OKAY FIRST -
Planning your threesome before it happens is a way to ensure no one becomes jealous. If you are not okay with your man penetrating the girl, work this out ahead of time. If he is not willing to have an encounter that is only kissing and touching, maybe he is not ready. Remember, the threesome is about bringing you two closer together, so focus on what will please both of you. Is it both of you going down on her together, which can be really fun for novice girls, or is it both of you giving a lover a massage? Remember, the more you know and trust your man, and clearly understand the sexual expectations you both have for the night, the better your experience will be.
DEAR READERS,
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE POSTED YESTERDAY, BUT OUR WONDERFUL 17 YEAR OLD CAT WENT INTO INTENSIVE CARE LAST NIGHT, AND WE LOST HER THIS MORNING. WE ARE VERY SAD, BUT YOUR EMAILS AND COMMENTS HELP SO MUCH.
XOXOXOXOXOX
BLISS
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, FASHION, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, communication, couples, dating girls, group sex, jealousy, lingerie, love affairs, lovers, marriage, meeting girls, san diego, threesomes, undressing girls |
ASK MISS BLISS: A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
Written by Miss Bliss on October 1, 2007 – 4:34 pm -
Dear Miss Bliss,
May I ask a question?
Well, I am embarrassed to ask but I will be having my first encounter with a couple very soon.. And this will be both of our first times… Can you give me some pointers? We know we want to do this … Just nervous I guess…
xoxoxoxo
Nervous & New
ADVICE FOR YOUR FIRST THREESOME
DATE BEFORE STRIPPING OFF YOUR CLOTHES
1. First off, there is no reason to rush into sex. It is incredibly important to have a date or two where no sex happens, and the three of you get a chance to develop sexual tension and chemistry. Dates also give you the opportunity to talk about the couple’s previous experiences, about fantasies you have had, and how the three of you envision the threesome. To meet the right couple for your first threesome is a big deal. Enjoy the flirting, the excitement, the thrill of dating. This always makes the sex better because the three of you have connected emotionally and have replaced nervousness with excitement.
HOT THREESOMES DON’T HAVE TO INCLUDE SEX
2. Threeway intimacy does not have to be sexual. Plan a night where the man gives you and his woman foot massages while the two of you hold hands and drink wine in front of the fire. Sometimes nights like this can be more intense and moving than a sexual encounter.
WHEN YOU CAN’T WAIT ANY LONGER…
3. After a flirty date or two, after erotic emails have been sent and received…
When all three of you are impatient to hold one another…
When you just can’t take it any longer but must devour one another….
This is when you schedule the encounter. But be smart, and make sure it is on a night when you have lots of time to get ready and you will not have to get up early the next day.
COMMUNICATE YOUR SEXUAL BOUNDARIES
4. Know what you want to do sexually, and what you do not want to do, and make sure to express your boundaries to the couple before the encounter. Among adults, there is no excuse for misunderstandings due to lack of communication. Before the tryst, send the girl an email detailing what you are looking forward to and what you are not comfortable with just yet. Encourage her to tell you what the couple’s boundaries are, too, because some girls are not ready for you to “go all the way” with their men. The more clearly the three of you lay out what you want, the less likely jealousy or hurt will arise.
TO SLEEP OVER OR TO GO HOME
5. If you do not want to sleep over at the couple’s place, tell them before.
If you would like to stay over, make sure to ask via email first and do not be upset if they are not ready for you to crash. Sometimes a couple needs to process the encounter afterwards by themselves. Be respectful of this need.
DRESS FOR THE GIRL
6. Buy some killer lingerie. You are dating a girl, and girls love lingerie, and bi-girl’s especially love their female lovers in lace, bows, garters and stockings. Plan your outfit so your lingerie is the same or a similar color as your dress. It is especially sexy to wear a dress or skirt that reveals your garters when you sit. Little peeks of skin will drive your lovers crazy. Remember, all of the details are important because girls notice them! (I highly recommend reading my blog on layering lingerie, if you aren’t a lingerie girl… It’s called “Unwrap Your Present“.) The prettier you feel in your underwear, the more comfortable you will be taking off your clothes!
PRIMP YOURSELF
7. On the day of the date, take a long, luxurious bath. If you aren’t waxed (which I highly recommend), do all of your shaving and primping. Make sure you feel like every bit of you smells heavenly, because this will give you confidence around a girl. Nothing is better than having a girl hold you, breathe in your hair, and tell you how amazing you smell. Do your nails, or have them done, and make sure to dip your toes in hot, shiny colors that pop. Wear jewelry that works with both your clothes and your lingerie that does not need to come off (this helps you from losing earrings!). Make sure to have condoms (although this is the couple’s responsibility, in my book) just in case. If you are a girl that worries she may not be able to come without her vibrator, bring it along and give it to the girl when it is the right time.
BE THE GIRL’S LOVER
8. Bring the girl a present. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but flowers or wine is a nice place to start. Remember, it is about you and the girl connecting, and girls love presents. The more she knows you are into her, the less she will worry about your connection with her man. Focus as much of your energy on her until you feel she gives you permission to go deeper with her man.
IF IT’S WRONG, STOP IT & TALK ABOUT IT
9. If anything feels weird or wrong, stop the encounter and talk about it. Sometimes jealousies arise and the mood becomes tense between the couple. If this happens, you can say that something feels wrong and ask if the couple needs a few minutes to themselves. If it still feels weird after, I say politely excuse yourself and send a follow-up email. It is the couple’s job to treat you like a goddess and make you feel safe and loved. If one of them cannot handle the situation, you are under no obligation to stay. They are responsible for inviting you into their relationship, and they are responsible for controlling their jealousies and focusing their love onto you. In my opinion, if something “goes wrong” in a threesome, it is usually due to lack of communication between the couple. So, again, TALK, TALK, TALK about every detail, especially the first time.
IT’S THE COUPLE’S JOB TO CATER TO YOU
10. So, darling nervous and new bigirl, I leave you with these words…
If the right couple has found you, your first threesome should be full of bliss. Any nervousness you have, they will rid you of it. Any fears, they will calm and soothe and entice you. Any worries, they will lift from your mind and heart. You will not have to worry about anything because two wonderful lovers are taking care of you emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually.
XOXOXOXOXO
Bliss
HAVE A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS?
EMAIL ME AND I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS.
TRYING TO MEET A NEW BI-FRIEND?
POST ON MY COMMENTS OR SEARCH MY COMMENTS FOR BIGIRLS IN YOUR AREA.
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, FASHION, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, coming out, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, group sex, lingerie, lovers, threesomes |