WHAT SHE FORGOT - ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORY
Written by Miss Bliss on September 14, 2008 – 12:36 pm -A little erotica to help you sleep more soundly…
“Hey, girl, sit at the bar and I’ll be right over,” she says as she carries a tray of drinks to a booth in the back. You watch her hips switch back and forth as she walks away and am once again overwhelmed by her casual beauty.
At the bar, you pull up a stool and wonder if you overdressed. Maybe you should have worn jeans; it seems a little silly to be hanging with a girl in her workplace in a tight black dress and platform heels. But you wouldn’t feel pretty in jeans and, to be honest, it’s already a fight to feel secure next to her perfect dancer’s body. Plus, you haven’t seen her since that night you first kissed and then went home together.
You worried hooking up with a girl had flipped her out, but just when you were going to ask her, she called and invited you here. To be in her company again thrilled you, so you ignored the quiet voice in your head that said, “If she liked you, she’d have seen you right away. She wouldn’t wait a month to call if she was as into it as you are. Inviting you to see her at work is a way to create distance…”
You shake your head and order a vodka and soda and wait for her return.
The bartender asks how you know Sabine. You say, through mutual friends in New York. “I love New York,” he says, and you nod with a smile, hoping he doesn’t ask anymore questions. Luckily, he likes talking more than listening, and fills up the time describing his favorite New York restaurants.
When Sabine finally finishes with her table and joins you, the first thing you say is, “I was just telling him about how we met in New York.”
For a second she lifts an eyebrow and then smiles. “Those were great times,” which almost sounds true. It would be too awkward to say we met in a gay bar. The friendship would certainly be suspect, then.
She sits on the stool next to you and says, “How have you been?”
Aware of the bartender, you say, “Great. How about you?”
“Well, I met a boy…”
Your heart stops but you try to appear happy for her. “That’s great. Where?”
“I went to a club with some friends and this guy asked me to dance, and he is a fierce dancer. We danced all night and the crowd stopped just to watch us.” She smiles and says, “And the sex… Oh my God! He is unreal. Sometimes, he’s almost too much for me.”
Hearing about her fucking some dancer makes your jaw tighten. Doesn’t she know who she’s talking to? Doesn’t she have some inclination that you may not want to hear about her current guy? “When did you meet him,” you ask, trying to sound casual.
“I don’t know… A month or so ago?” Right around the time the two of you hooked up.
Feeling bitter, you want to ask if it was before or after the night she soaked your bed with her juices, but you don’t. Instead, you ask, “So is he your boyfriend?”
She laughs. “Oh, goodness, no! He’s just my summer distraction.” Looking up, she sees a new table and says she’ll be back in a sec.
You order a second drink and your stomach aches. Did she forget how intense the sex had been between you? Because you remember, and one night dancing with some guy wouldn’t make you forget.
*********
Closing your eyes, you go back in time and see see her approach you at the bar in West Hollywood. You couldn’t believe a hot girl was coming onto you in your favorite gay bar. Surrounded by men, she discovered you and bought you a drink.
“Come here often,” she said jokingly.
“No. But now that I know gorgeous girls come here every once in awhile, I might just come out more often.”
“Cute shoes,” she squealed, and the two of you spent the next ten minutes complementing one another. “Oh, look, a booth is opening up. Let’s sit.” She grabbed your hand and led you through the dancing male bodies until you reached a darkly lit booth.
*********
Sabine comes back to the bar and places an order for her newest customers. Leaning into your ear, she whispers, “He just texted me to say he might be stopping by. You’ll get to meet him!”
You are beginning to wonder if her sharp features and sparkling emerald eyes have distracted you from the fact that she is totally insane. “When is he coming?” This time your voice is hard and you don’t try to hide it.
“Right now. He says you’re welcome to go out dancing with us when I get off.”
“That’s generous of him,” you say sarcastically.
She looks at you with concern. “He’s a really nice guy. You’re going to love him.”
“I didn’t come her tonight to meet your boyfriend,” you say, hoping the bartender doens’t overhear.
“What,” she asks.
“Never mind,” you say.
The bartender brings her table’s drinks and she places them on a tray and is off again.
*********
In the back corner of the gay bar, she picked up your hand and exclaimed, “Oh, your hands are so pretty and tiny!” Her fingers traced yours, turned your rings to face out properly, and then finally lifted your hand to her lips. Slowly, she kissed the back of your hand, then turned it over and placed a long kiss on the palm. You felt her touch all the way down to your toes.
With your other hand, you touched her lips and then leaned in and kissed her. Tasting like candy and fresh water, you breathe her in and let your tongue dance with hers.
“I think we should get out of here,” she said.
“Want to have a drink at my place,” you asked, amazed that this sensuous creature appeared out of nowhere to love you. She picks up her bag and the two of you walk out to the parking lot hand-in-hand.
********
“I think I should go,” you say when she returns.
“Why? Don’t go! You just got here.”
She doesn’t seem to understand why you don’t want to meet this guy. Was she drunk the night you hooked up? On drugs? It would be impossible to know. After all, you were strangers when you met. You really know nothing about her.
Finishing the second drink quickly, you feel the alcohol burning through you. Since you are petite and didn’t eat dinner, the alcohol is unusually strong. “You know why I don’t want to meet him,” you say with a force that surprises you.
Her smile leaves her lips for a moment and you see her debating with herself. She sits next to you once more and grabs one of your hands. “I don’t think there has to be any drama.”
You don’t know what that means and tell her so.
“I want to be your friend,” she says.
“I want to be your friend, too,” and you do.
“So I want you to meet the people in my life.”
“Why,” you ask, finally drunk enough to have no filter.
“Because you’re amazing,” she says lamely. But you have figured out the truth between the words she is saying. Instead of facing the intensity of your love, she wants to bury the memory of that night. She needs you to meet her boy “distraction” in order to reconfirm her heterosexuality. If you are friends, she doesn’t have to question why that night happened or what it means.
*******
She was the one who asked you to get the strap-on out. She demanded you fuck her until she came and you did. She put it on and fucked you directly after. She was the aggressor. She knew exactly what she wanted and made it happen. She chose to sit on your face until your tongue, lips, chin and nose hit all of her secret spots and made her gush sweetness all over your face, neck and chest. She was the one who held you so close while you slept that you couldn’t excise yourself to go to the bathroom. And, she was the one who woke you with the light flicker of her tongue on your inner thigh.
When she left, you believed she was a lesbian.
When she left, she pushed the delete button and hid behind a straight identity.
When she left, you thought she’d come back.
*******
You stand up and leave a twenty on the bar for the drinks. “I’ll meet him next time.”
“If he’s still around,” she says with a laugh.
You look directly into her eyes and smile goodbye, then walk out the doors into the night.
XOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY OTHER EROTICA BY BLISS WARRIOR:
SPIN THE BOTTLE PART ONE, PART TWO, AND PART THREE
FOLLOW MY RULES PART ONE AND PART TWO
CAPTIVATING THE COLLEGE GIRL PART ONE, PART TWO, AND PART THREE
TOUCHING UNDER THE TABLE
WAKE ME UP WITH YOUR TONGUE
YOU MADE MY BRAIN COME
LEARNING TO LOVE STRAP-ONS
ONE FRENCH AFTERNOON
WALKING HOME IN HER PANTIES
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UPCOMING EVENTS FOR BI-GIRLS THIS WEEKEND:
- Friday, 12 September 2008
DENVER - HAPPY HOUR FOR BI/BI-CURIOUS LADIES ONLY
VIEW EVENT - Friday, 12 September 2008
HOLLYWOOD - BURLESQUE SHOW THAT SUPPORTS PETA
VIEW EVENT - Saturday, 13 September 2008
SAN FRANCISCO - FRINGE FESTIVAL PRESENTS FLUID: A PERSONAL EXPLORATION OF “BI” SEXUALITY
VIEW EVENT - Sunday, 14 September 2008
NYC BACKYARD GARDEN BRUNCH
VIEW EVENT
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, EROTIC FICTION, FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORIES, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, Uncategorized, bi-girls, bisexual, boyfriends, dating girls, ejaculation, flirting, friends, girls kissing, heterosexual, jealousy, kissing, lesbian, love affairs, lovers, meeting girls, sex toys, strap-on dildos |
TOO YOUNG FOR MONOGAMY - Tales From the Seattle Brunch
Written by Miss Bliss on August 11, 2008 – 6:58 am -“I’m in an open relationship,” says Geneva.
Eight bisexual women have come together for brunch, community and friendship on a rare sunny day in Seattle. This is my first trip to the great state of Washington, and in the last twenty-four hours I have fallen in love with Seattle’s mountains, hills, trees, and clean sparkling air. During brunch, the city woos me even more by introducing me to seven beautiful, bright and beguiling bi-women.
“You are,” asks Sadie, the blonde with perfectly painted dark eyes. “I’m jealous.”
“How is that working out for you,” asks the tall brunette, Nicole, sitting across from me.
“Well, we were monogamous the first year we dated. I think it’s important to establish a relationship first before opening it up. But we’re both in our early twenties and we knew when we first met that we were way too young to be strictly monogamous.”
“I don’t like to share,” says Sadie. “Being with a couple is one thing, but being in a couple and bringing in another? I couldn’t do it.”
“So you both date other people separately,” I ask. “Other girls I know who are in open relationships often say the funny thing about it, is the more you date other people, the more you appreciate your relationship and the less you want to date others.”
“It’s funny you mention that,” says Geneva, looking at me with her clear, bright eyes and pretty freckled skin. “My man will meet one of the guys I am dating and he’ll tell me later, ‘That guy’s not up to your level.’ He does it in a really sweet way, too. It isn’t like he’s trying to put down the guy out of jealousy, he truly wants me to be with men who respect and appreciate me.”
“I’m jealous,” says Sadie. “I want that!”
“Well, darling, anyone as cute as you are, anytime,” Geneva says with a flirtatious smile, completely in her power.
“Me, too,” says Nicole with a fetching smile.
“It isn’t easy. You have to communicate a lot for it to work. I mean, sure, I have buttons that can be pushed and I can get jealous. Like if he dates a petite blonde - everything I am not - it’s hard not to feel a little jealous. But you talk about it, work through it, and grow. So far, it’s worked for us.”
This is why I enjoy bringing bisexual women together for conversation, friendship and support. Some of the girls who came to the brunch are monogamous, others are in open relationships, and some are looking for a combination of both. Simply meeting other women who are creating successful new kinds of committed relationships helps girls to realize there are many options for love. Although some bi-women are content with traditional monogamous relationships, others are searching for something more. By taking a risk and inviting strangers to brunch, bi-women are finding each other and discovering supportive friends.
As always, after the brunch I received over 30 e-mails from Seattle girls who want to attend the next event in Seattle. If you are in Seattle, and curious about meeting other bi-girls, I encourage you to join the private, free community site the Bliss Warrior team built this year, Hotel Bliss. Seattle girls are checking in and would like to meet you. (CLICK HERE to apply for membership.)
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING ABOUT OTHER BLISS BRUNCHES:
NOT SEEKING BARBIE - Tales From the San Diego Brunch
WHY INVITING BI-GIRLS TO BRUNCH IS THE BEST
FROM TOMBOYS TO FAB FEMME GIRLS - TALES FROM TORONTO, PART 1
GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE A BI-GIRL FRIEND
AN ODD PLACE TO MEET A BI-GIRL
THE STRANGE FOLKS ON CRAIGSLIST
THERE IS NO “ONE-TYPE” OF BI-GIRL
SHE’S A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND SHE’S PACKIN’
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE
MY MOM OUTED ME OVER THANKSGIVING DINNER
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TOMORROW ON BLISS WARRIOR: OUR GUEST BLOGGER, V., RETURNS WITH PART FOUR OF HER SERIALIZED BLOG, AND THEN THERE WERE TWO. THE TRUE STORY OF HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MAN AND THE WOMEN HE INTRODUCED HER TO.
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A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO THE MARVELOUS LACIVIOUS FOR HOSTING YET ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL BRUNCH FOR BI-GIRLS IN ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO. WE LOVE YOU, DARLING, FOR BRINGING BEAUTIFUL BI-WOMEN TOGETHER FOR FRIENDSHIP, COMMUNITY AND FLIRTATIOUS FUN!
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, BLISSWARRIOR NEWS, HOTEL BLISS, RELATIONSHIPS, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, commitment, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, flirting, friends, jealousy, meeting girls, open relationships, seattle |
ASK MISS BLISS – SHE’S MAD BECAUSE HER BOYFRIEND AND I WENT ALL THE WAY
Written by Miss Bliss on July 16, 2008 – 11:50 am -
Dear Miss Bliss,
I know you’re extremely busy, but I would be very interested to get some advice from you. I have been with my girlfriend for about five months now and things were going great until a couple days ago when she emailed me an angry letter:
“You sleeping with my boyfriend was NOT part of the deal. Obviously, the two of us didn’t talk about this before I had you come over. He said if I found a girl I liked enough to be my girlfriend that he didn’t mind. He said he’d enjoy watching, which I didn’t mind. I also wouldn’t have minded if he just played with you only using his hands and tongue. No weiner allowed! After you left the other night, I told him I felt horrible that he would actually have ‘sex’ with someone else. He told me to deal with it or you aren’t allowed over.”
She has a boyfriend and yes, all three of us had sex with one another. I preferred only to be with her, but I thought that it was just the agreement they had with each other, so I dealt with it. Well, now, after five months, she comes back and says she never wanted that to happen and the only way I can come over there is if he can have me, as well. So I don’t know what to do. I love her but I don’t want her to be upset because he wants to have sex with me, too.
Thanks for listening,
Caught in the Middle
Dear Caught in the Middle,
1. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG
First, you did everything right. To be with her, you had to be with her boyfriend, too. Even though you preferred to have her all to yourself, you understood she was in a relationship and tried to respect their rules.
2. COUPLES NEED TO DIRECTLY COMMUNICATE THEIR “RULES” TO THEIR LOVER BEFORE PROBLEMS ARISE
As your lover wrote, she and her boyfriend did not clearly discuss what was “part of the deal” before you came over. She did not tell him or you that she was uncomfortable with penetration. If she had, I am certain you would not have gone anywhere near his “weiner.” But she didn’t, and seems to blame you for not reading her mind and stopping the intercourse from happening. This is her fault and if she is angry, she should be angry at herself for not communicating her needs better.
3. CAN YOU BE WITH THEM AND NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH HIM?
According to her letter, the two of them want something different. She wants to continue having threesomes, just without you and the boyfriend having intercourse. It seems he wants the sex to continue as it is. Obviously, dear reader, you have a problem. If being with her is important to you, it seems you cannot aggravate the situation by having intercourse with him. However, before you are with them again, you need to clearly tell them both that you do not want to continue having sexual intercourse with him because you do not want to cause tension or jealousy in their relationship.
4. WHAT IF HE STILL WANTS INTERCOURSE DURING THE NEXT THREESOME?
If you clearly communicated to them that you cannot have sexual intercourse during your encounters and he tries to have sex with you again, you may have to end the relationship with both of them. If he can’t respect her wishes or yours, you do not want to be involved with this couple. Sadly, if he acts badly she may just blame you. Some girls will always blame the “other” girl before focusing her anger on her man – even if he deserves it! If this is the case, it may be time to find a new, drama-free girlfriend.
5. NEVER, EVER HAVE SEX WITH A MAN JUST TO BE WITH HIS GIRL
I know that it can be very hard to find a female lover who you adore. When that girl is attached to a man, it is incredibly important to remember that you never have to be with her man if you do not want to be. I have heard some bi-girls say that they will “take one for the team” to be with a girl (meaning they will sleep with the boyfriend even when she does not want to.) Sexual intercourse is a sacred, loving ritual and should only be shared with partners you truly adore. Do not have sex with him just to be with her. It will only bring you drama.
OXXOXOXOXOOX
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING OTHER ASK MISS BLISS COLUMNS:
ASK MISS BLISS - A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
ASK MISS BLISS - MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
ASK MISS BLISS - WHAT TO DO WITH UNEXPRESSED DESIRES
ASK MISS BLISS - TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
ASK MISS BLISS - MY BOYFRIEND’S PUSHING HARD FOR A THREESOME
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GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, communication, couples, dating, dating girls, group sex, intercourse, jealousy, love affairs, lovers |
FOLLOW MY RULES - PART I
Written by Miss Bliss on April 25, 2008 – 9:57 am - ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORY TO HELP YOU SLEEP A LITTLE SOUNDER…
You study them both with curious eyes. She is adorable, a little older than you, but with a youthful glow and energy that makes you like her. He is harder to read. You aren’t sure if he is nervous, angry, or just doesn’t know how to act. Deciding he must just be uncomfortable, you lose a little respect for him and even more desire. Turning back to her, she looks at you, smiles broadly and lets out a giggle. With each minute, she is becoming giddy and more beautiful.
You lean back in the maroon leather chair and let your hand finger the stem of your martini glass. “This is what I’d like to do tonight,” you state with an authority that surprises you. “I’m ready to go home with you both, if you follow my rules.”
“Tonight?” Her voice is full of eagerness. “I thought you said you just wanted to meet us tonight. I didn’t know you’d want to…” Her voice trails off and she looks at her husband.
“What are your rules,” he asks with a gruff voice. Obviously, he is not used to someone else leading the game. Or, maybe, he has never been challenged by a women. She seems like the type who lets him make decisions and his unease makes you feel even more in control.
Speaking slowly, with a voice no mortal could resist, you say, “I’ll come home with you both, but this is the scenario I envision.” You look right into his eyes, “I want the two of us to destroy her together.”
“Destroy me?” She lets out an involuntary gasp and blushes.
“Yes. I want to him and I to take turns making you come over and over again.”
“That sounds wonderful!” A lock of black curly hair falls into her eyes and she is more desirable than in the pictures she sent online.
“What are your rules,” he asks again, sensing a threat.
You don’t like him which makes this easy for you. Sure, he is probably a great guy for her - she seems to love him or at least likes to say she does – and he is attractive in a tough guy kind of way, but being his lover is utterly unappealing. “You are not allowed to touch me and I am not allowed to touch you. She can touch both of us and we both can touch her. Those are my rules.”
There is a silence while she looks at him wondering if he is hurt. But you know men a little better than she does, or you think you do. You have thrown down a glove and are asking him if he is man enough to accept your challenge. Will he duel to see who can please this dark-haired beauty more?
A wry smile crosses his face and for a second, you see the handsomeness she must see. “If my wife agrees to the rules, I will agree.”
She is surprised to be the final vote in this proposition. “Are you sure,” she asks him quietly, “because we do not have to…”
You love seeing how awkward you have made them and it emboldens you. “This deal is only good tonight. I can’t predict how I’ll feel tomorrow.”
A look of anger mixed with curiosity flashes across his face but you are not scared. Feeling like you are able to predict every one of his emotional reactions, you smile. They are both yours and for a night, you will own them. You know it even before he nods and says to his wife, “It’s up to you.”
“It could be fun, right?”
“It will be fun for you,” he says, but there is no jealousy or malice in his voice. He understands that this encounter will not be the threesome they imagined or hoped for, but the rules are creating a newer dynamic that might be hotter than any fantasy. He smiles that almost-handsome smile once more and looks right into your eyes. “Don’t think you can please her better than I can, because if you do, it will be a disappointing night for you.”
“I am not worried about being disappointed at all.” You pick up her hands across the café table and take her index finger into your mouth, your eyes on his the entire time. In the middle of the darkened, crowded room, you begin sucking her finger in and out, saying to him with your eyes, “You won’t get to feel these lips on you tonight.” She lets out a muffled moan and he takes her other hand. Placing his hand in her lap under the table, you soon realize he is under her skirt and touching her as you toy with her finger. No one else in the restaurant seems to notice.
Her eyes show panic; being out in a public establishment and being sexually overtaken, frightens her. “This is so nice, but can we pay and go?” Her voice is breathy and nervous.
“Not until you come,” he commands with a lifted eyebrow. He wants to make her come first, even if it means bringing her to a climax in a public place.
This annoys you and you remove her finger from your mouth. “Let me watch,” you say. “I’ll play lookout.”
You are in the back corner of the café and even though the tables are filled with people, your back does conceal them from the other patrons. His arm moves faster, and shakes the table at times. You aren’t particularly interested in what he is doing to her, but her face is fascinating to you. Trying to resist, wanting to succumb, embarrassed and scared she’ll be discovered, overwhelmed with desire and a passion to break all the rules – she is the most beautifully conflicted creature you have seen.
Soon the shaking moves up her body and her shoulders begin to rock, her breaths are quicker, less controlled and her eyes close. Lost in the vibration of his hands, she is in another world, until a large shudder shakes her whole body and the table and you have to catch your drink.
Soon she is quiet and her body is still, again. He withdraws his hand and smiles at you, silently asking, “Can you make her come that fast?”
He thinks he has control again, and you don’t like this. “Put your fingers in her mouth,” you command. “I want her to taste herself.”
Looking at you with a competitive eye, he places two fingers in her mouth and she sucks at them hungrily. His eyes stay on you.
“Shall we get the check,” you say, pleased to be in a powerful place once again. “I think it’s time to take this girl home.”
With his left hand he signals for the check, while his right two fingers remain buried in her lips. By challenging him, he has lost all sense of where he is. If you pushed him a little more, he may just fuck her right on the table.
Smiling, you cannot wait to see what this night will bring.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY READING OTHER EROTICA BY BLISS WARRIOR:
CAPTIVATING THE COLLEGE GIRL PART ONE, PART TWO, AND PART THREE
TOUCHING UNDER THE TABLE
WAKE ME UP WITH YOUR TONGUE
YOU MADE MY BRAIN COME
LEARNING TO LOVE STRAP-ONS
ONE FRENCH AFTERNOON
WALKING HOME IN HER PANTIES
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HOTEL BLISS IS UP AND WORKING! WANT TO MEET OTHER BI-GIRLS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM WITH A PICTURE OR A LINK TO YOUR MYSPACE PAGE AND JOIN THE SLUMBER PARTY!
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, EROTIC FICTION, FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORIES, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, couples, dating, group sex, jealousy, lovers, marriage, threesomes |
FIVE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BISEXUALS
Written by Miss Bliss on February 18, 2008 – 11:26 am -Dear Miss Bliss,
I don’t know if I would classify myself as bi. I don’t really know what my sexuality is. I am only 22 years old and have been in a serious relationship for the past three years. I knew I was attracted to girls before I met my current boyfriend. I’ve been lucky in the sense that I can talk to my man openly about my bisexual feelings and he understands. His only rule is that he be allowed to participate.
The only problem is I don’t want him to be there when I have my first experience with a girl. A lot of it is my own insecurity and the other part is I want to experience my first time without an audience.
A year ago, I set out to find a girl to explore my curiosity with and - unbelievably - met someone through Craigslist and we really hit it off. When we finally met in person, I couldn’t believe my luck! Not only was she beautiful, we had so much in common, and there was never an awkward silence between the two of us. We knew right away that we could be great friends.
Towards the end of the date, things got very physical. Needless to say, there was a lot of alcohol involved and we weren’t very careful about what we were doing. We were hooking up in her car outside of my apartment and my boyfriend caught us in the act - naked and everything.
Before I continue, you should know that my boyfriend is a very stereotypical Latin man who is jealous, possessive, immature, but also loving and passionate, and he worships the ground I walk on. He was very hurt that I went out with a girl behind his back and it took a long time and a lot of apologizing to get him to forgive me. In the end, he told me that I could no longer see this girl or even talk to her. He even went as far as calling her and telling her to stay away from me. Of course, she got freaked out and we decided to cool it.
It’s been a year and I have not been able to forget her. The whole incident was devastating to me. Ever since then it’s been hard for me go out without my boyfriend without being grilled about the night extensively when I get home.
A lot of time has passed and my desire to be with a woman is overwhelming. I am constantly asking myself if I even want to be with a man at all. When we’re having sex I find myself fantasizing about being with a woman and that’s how I get off! I’ve tried to convince him to let me have a special “friend” on the side but he’s afraid I will leave him for her, so the same first rule applies: only if he’s involved. And I’m still not comfortable with that.
In a few weeks, I will be moving out of our apartment and I am hoping to use that new freedom to explore what it’s like to really be with a woman. I don’t know that it’s fair to stay in a relationship with him knowing that what I really want is a woman’s touch. However - and I know this sounds selfish - I am afraid to break up with him only to realize I can’t find a decent girl.
Can you give me some advice? Also, do you think what I’m doing is wrong?
xoxox
CAUGHT CHEATING IN THE CAR
Darling Caught Cheating,
It’s not often that I feel sorry for the jealous possessive boyfriend, but your letter has made it happen. It is also very rare that an Ask Miss Bliss letter makes me wonder if all of those negative stereotypes about bisexuals may just be true and accurate. Sweet girl, I know you are young, and I am so glad you wrote to me because you may never be a happy bisexual girl unless you make some changes in your behavior.
FIVE NEGATIVE STEREOTYPES ABOUT BISEXUALS THAT YOUR LETTER IS REINFORCING:
1. BISEXUALS ARE CONFUSED
It is fine to be unsure if the labels bi, straight or gay are right for you. However, if you are calling yourself “curious” (and therefore, implying you are bisexual) when you are behaving badly (i.e., lying and cheating on your man) you are teaching him and your lover that bisexuals are liars and cheaters. Stop reinforcing the negative stereotypes we are trying to dismantle and get honest and open in your sexual behavior. There is no need to lie or cheat but you have to be strong to be ethical and honest. Know that the enemy is not your partner wanting to be involved - it is you for not being able to stick to the terms of your relationship!
2. BISEXUALS CANNOT COMMIT
Even though you know that your man is jealous and the two of you have agreed that you will not do anything with a girl “unless he is involved”, you still lie to him. You are not brave enough to break off the relationship to explore your “curiosity” on your own. Instead, you go behind his back on the Internet searching for girls, and even go on a date with a girl and get naked right in front of the apartment you share, and are still mad at him when he can no longer trust you. Do you see how you are reinforcing the negative stereotype that bisexuals cannot be trusted?
3. BISEXUALS THINK BEING WITH A GIRL BEHIND THEIR MAN’S BACK IS NOT CHEATING
Lesbians have a right to be angry and/or suspicious when bisexual woman come on to them in bars because of “curious” girls like you, darling reader. Bi-women who are in serious relationships with men often believe that their man has no right to be jealous when they are with girls because “they wouldn’t leave him for a girl.” Many sincere, kind, sexy lesbians have been toyed around with lying curious-and-not-sure-if-they-are-bi girls who are cheating on men. I am sure your perfect girlfriend was “freaked out” when you’re man called her to tell her to stay away from you - but she was not just freaked out by him. She learned that you were lying to him and to her, and what girl would want to date someone like that? No wonder some lesbians want nothing to do with bi-girls; they have been burned by behavior similar to yours.
4. BI-GIRLS SHOULDN’T HAVE TO INCLUDE THEIR PRIMARY PARTNER
Darling girl, many bi-curious girls say that they want their first time with a girl NOT to involve their partner for two reasons: (1) it is much easier to hook up with a girl when no man is involved, and (2) they do not trust their man enough to share the experience with him. But here, again, is why this type of behavior reinforces negative stereotypes about bisexuals. First, it demonstrates that you do not want to enjoy a lover to DEEPEN your connection with your primary relationship. Second, if your man does not approve of you being alone with a girl for the first time, then anything behind his back is cheating. Just because she is a girl and you think you will not fall in love with her does not make it fair to lie and cheat. What you need to be working on is your relationship with your man. If he will not let you have lovers on the side and you will not include him, then you need to get a therapist and start couples therapy immediately. Or, it may be time to end the relationship because it is obvious you do not respect his needs or his feelings. Don’t reinforce the stereotype that bisexuals cannot have healthy long-term relationships; just get honest.
5. BISEXUALS WANT THEIR CAKE AND TO EAT IT, TOO
According to your letter, you have already had a “first time” with a girl in a car but you now want a second “first time” without your man’s involvement even though you KNOW it will hurt him terribly. In order to do this, you are going to move out of the apartment you share so you will have “easier access” to girls. Well, this is fine except for the fact that you are STILL planning on lying to him because you do not want to end the relationship out of fear of being alone. Darling, this reinforces the stereotype that bisexuals are selfish and only care about their own sexual desires and pleasures. By lying to your man, you are also setting up relationships with women that are based on lies. You WON’T find a healthy relationship with a woman until you are ready to date in an honest and respectful manner.
Darling Reader, there are so many amazing bisexual woman who are honest with themselves, their partners and their lovers. Their lives become happy and drama-free just by being ethical and responsible to the people they love. Be the Bi-Girl You Want to Meet and get honest. It just makes life better and easier.
OXOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, cheating, commitment, communication, couples, craigslist, dating girls, heterosexual, jealousy, lesbian, meeting girls, the first time, undressing girls, virginity |
ASK MISS BLISS - MY BOYFRIEND’S “PUSHING HARD” FOR A THREESOME
Written by Miss Bliss on January 30, 2008 – 2:35 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now and he is pushing hard for a threesome. It’s not that I don’t want to try it… I am just shy and a little insecure. I am afraid of being the “odd girl out”. I have always been attracted to women, their shapes and smells… but I have never been past the heavy petting stage. I know that this threesome thing would be fun and that my boyfriend would love it, but how do I get over my inhibitions and just have fun? Any suggestions would be welcomed.
Wallflower
Dearest Wallflower,
At our brunch last Sunday in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Kairrie described the conversation she had with her man before their first threesome. This was not Kairrie’s first group experience. She had been the “guest star” with other couples before, but this was the first time she and her man would invite a lover into their bed. Kairrie asked a foxy friend of hers if she would be up for a night of decadent fun with them, and the friend agreed. Having set the date, Kairrie’s man had many questions for her about the upcoming date.
“Is it all right if I kiss her,” he asked Kairrie.
Kairrie said, of course!
“Alright,” he said. “Now, for the big question. How would you feel if I came in her?”
TALK IN EXPLICIT DETAIL ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN DURING THE THREESOME
I mention this conversation for one main reason. The way to avoid feeling left out is quite simple. Have clear, detailed conversations with your man about what will happen during the threesome. Is it alright if he kisses her? Is it alright if he pleases her orally, or is it only you who will please her? Would you enjoy going down on your man with her? Would it be fun for both of you to please her at the same time with your four hands? Go through every scenario you can think of with your man and fantasize together. The more you talk about ways you can please her together, the less likely anyone will feel left out.
HOW TO “GET OVER” ANY INHIBITIONS
It is your first time and it is perfectly natural that you feel nervous and have inhibitions. The more you talk about the first time during sexual play with your partner, the more you can both get turned on together and help each other be ready for the first actual experience.
If you are worried the girl will not be into you, know that ALL girls worry about this. Your lover will probably be worried that she is not as attractive as you are, because all girls, even the prettiest ones, worry that they are not attractive. The more attention and love you give the other girl, the more she will be relaxed with both of you. The invited lover will need you to make her feel comfortable, and by focusing on her, you will feel less nervous.
Reading erotica is a way to get over inhibitions because you realize you are not the only one with these desires and it will teach you a few tips. Finding a bi-girl friend to talk with in your area is another way you can eliminate fears - by acknowledging them, learning tips to avoid jealousy, and feeling better about yourself, your relationship, and your sensual desires.
THE FIRST THREESOME DOES NOT HAVE TO GO “ALL THE WAY”
Many girls get skittish about having a threesome because they do not want their man to penetrate another woman. This is completely natural and totally acceptable. Many women who join couples do not necessarily want to be penetrated by the other girl’s man, at least the first time. If your man does not understand this, or feels that he “must” penetrate both of you to be satisfied, he is not ready for a group situation. He needs to respect your feelings and should not introduce any sexual elements that are not okay with you first. Remember, a threesome is about bringing the two of you closer together while inviting another lucky soul into the love you share.
IF GUYS DIDN’T “PUSH HARD” FOR SEX, MOST OF US WOULD BE VIRGINS
Now, I know this may sound shocking, but if men did not push girls into sex, we might all be middle-aged virgins wondering what the fuss was about. The question is, is your man pushing you in a good way or in a bad way? Many women have fantasies of being with other women, but do not know how to make the first move or are too scared to. If this is the case, dear Wallflower, and your man is pushing you in a good way, helping you get over your fears and make a real move towards finding a lover, then I have no problem with it. I had a friend who was scared to death of going up to a girl and kissing her, but wanted to desperately. One night at a club, her man got a few drinks in her and told her she had to go over and kiss the girl she was flirting with earlier. She said no, he said yes. He said yes again, more sternly this time, and she felt she “had to kiss her.” She went over to her, told the girl she thought she was pretty and asked if she could kiss her. To her delight, the girl said yes, and they kissed. After, she was euphoric and grateful to her man for “pushing her” just enough.
IF HE’S “PUSHING HARD” AND YOU ARE NOT READY, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
If you are insecure in your relationship and do not trust him to follow the rules you established before the threesome, you two are not ready for a group experience. If he really loves you, he will wait until you are both ready for the experience. As I have written before in the blog, Is Your Man a Deal-Breaker, if he is pushing for penetration with your new lover and does not understand why that should wait, he may not be ready.
FOR MORE TIPS ON AVOIDING PROBLEMS DURING YOUR FIRST THREESOME,
I RECOMMEND RE-READING THESE BLOGS:
ASK MISS BLISS: A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS: A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
XOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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THIS SATURDAY NIGHT IN LOS ANGELES BI-GIRL DANCE NIGHT IN WEST HOLLYWOOD
So far we have had a HUGE response to the event and at least 15 girls are coming out to dance the night away.
Want to join us? E-mail me at bliss@blisswarrior.com.
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Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, BLISSWARRIOR NEWS, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, boyfriends, communication, dancing, dating girls, group sex, jealousy, kissing, los angeles, love affairs, lovers, oral sex, the first time, threesomes |
ASK MISS BLISS - SHE’S 12 YEARS YOUNGER & MAKING ME JEALOUS
Written by Miss Bliss on January 17, 2008 – 7:28 am -Dear Miss Bliss,
I am a 37-year-old bi woman who has been in two marriages lasting over 16 years. I am openly dating women and currently have an odd situation I need advice about.
I am dating a woman who is 12 years younger than me who has only been with one woman and two men in her life. Her friends and family don’t know about me and she lives with her best friend of nine years. She admits to having a thing for her roommate/best friend, and I am the jealous type. They have heavy make-out sessions but it has never progressed as she says her roomie isn’t into women.
No one she knows has a clue about us. I’m afraid that if the roommate finds out about us that she may decide that she DOES like girls and take it to the next level and I will be out in the cold.
I just need your advice, Bliss Baby!
XOXOXOXOX
The Jealous Type
Dear Jealous Type,
DOES AGE DIFFERENCE MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP?
More and more women are dating both men and women many years older and many years younger than themselves. I consider this progress because some twenty-somethings are much more mature than others their age, and some thirty, forty and fifty-somethings are much younger. My husband and I have had marvelous relationships with women ten years younger and ten years older. So, to me, it is not important that she is younger than you are.
LACK OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE
Your girl’s lack of sexual experience may be more of an issue than her age. Unlike you, who had two marriages and presumably more experiencing dating, she does not necessarily know how to communicate well with a partner. Have compassion for her negotiating a new bisexual identity, and know that when newly dating, a girl can make mistakes. You can be the example of how a respectful partner nurtures the relationship and she can learn from you.
IF THE ROOMMATE MAKES OUT WITH GIRLS, SHE’S INTO GIRLS
I am not sure if you and your girlfriend have discussed being monogamous, or made any commitments to one another. But for her to tell you not to be jealous when she makes out with her roommate because she is “not into girls”, is absolutely ridiculous. If your girl’s tongue is down her friend’s throat every now and then, the roommate is into girls.
SHE IS NOT TREATING YOU WITH RESPECT
I understand that many bi-women are afraid to come out to their parents and friends, and many never do because they feel they do not have to. Thanks to the heterosexual cloaking device, many bisexuals only share who they are dating with loved ones when they are dating someone of the opposite sex and having a “normal” hetero relationship. The problem here, however, is nobody knows about your relationship and this can easily make you feel threatened. You are right to be concerned about the roommate not knowing about you. Feelings of jealousy are completely natural in this scenario because you know your girlfriend is hiding your relationship, so what else is she hiding? It is good that she is honest with you about her attraction to her roommate, but she has created a scenario where you are left feeling insecure and disrespected.
WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DO YOU WANT?
Darling girl, the question you need to ask yourself is, what kind of relationship do you want? A secret affair with a girl with no strings attached? That is what you have now and to continue it, you may need to release jealous feelings and know that the relationship will last as long as it lasts. If you want a committed relationship with a woman, you may have to seek that elsewhere or have constructive conversations with your girl about the relationship you desire. Like men, if the woman has not said that you are exclusively her girlfriend, you are dating and there is no serious commitment. So if you really are the jealous type, a change has to be made. Either you accept that she likes dating you and fooling around with friends, or you change it.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ALSO LIKE READING:
ASK MISS BLISS - MY HUSBAND’S JEALOUS
ASK MISS BLISS - TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
ASK MISS BLISS - MAKE MY BRAIN COME
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BLISS IS IN MIAMI. LADIES COMING TO BRUNCH THIS SATURDAY, I WILL EMAIL YOU ALL THE LOCATION LATER TONIGHT! IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN US FOR BRUNCH THIS SATURDAY IN MIAMI FOR FRIENDSHIP AND CONVERSATION, EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM.
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HAVE A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS?
EMAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, IDENTITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, coming out, communication, dating, dating girls, friends, girls kissing, heterosexual, jealousy, kissing, lovers, women |
ASK MISS BLISS – TORN BETWEEN LOVERS
Written by Miss Bliss on December 13, 2007 – 5:41 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I do not know what to do with myself. I still hang out and sleep with my ex-boyfriend. We have been on and off for the last year of our two years together. He is great in bed and it is hard for me to go find someone new when I like how we are sexually. I have actively pursued a woman to fill the emotional gap I have been experiencing and finally, after a whole year of searching, I found someone! We are just getting to know each other and it’s been great! Now he’s jealous and I don’t know what to do.
We all know about each other. She has her own male lover, as well, so she’s not trying to have a threesome with my friend, nor is she trying to force me into one with her friend. Now, all my ex can talk about is how I fell into her lap and haven’t left and that I am going to run off with her and her friend. He says she has changed me. I can see myself being a little less tolerant to some of the stupid things he does but have not shown him any less love.
I truly am in love with him still and it is not returned, so I’m trying to move on (at least emotionally ) but I can’t take his verbal tongue lashing anymore and he and I can’t communicate well.
He has a problem with her and she has NO problems with him. I want to keep them both… Is there anything I can do???
Help, please!
*Feel Like Screaming!!!*
Dear Miss Feel Like Screaming…
How wonderful that you took the time and initiative to find the perfect female lover. You have been honest and upfront with both lovers, and it is obvious from your letter, that you care very much how each lover feels. You have done everything in the right way and it is natural that you are frustrated by your ex-boyfriend’s behavior.
1. HE IS NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND
First of all, if he does not care about you or filling your “emotional gap”, he has lost the right to claim you for his own.
2. GOOD SEX IS NOT WORTH VERBAL ABUSE
Just because he is good in bed does not mean you have to put up with a verbal tongue-lashing. You are not in an exclusive relationship and he has no right to criticize you, your love, or your other lovers. Even if he wanted to be your boyfriend, no man has the right to speak to his woman this way. Until he is your boyfriend and treats you with love and respect, he has no right to punish you when he feels insecure.
3. HE HAS NO RIGHT TO FEEL JEALOUS
The next time he expresses fears that you are leaving him for your lover and her man, tell him he SHOULD be worried. You will leave him because he is not doing the work to keep you! She has not taken you away from him. He gave you up a year ago.
4. LOVE IS CHANGING YOU
You are changing. You are experiencing a fulfilling love affair and that naturally has improved your confidence, made you sexier and stronger. You are also demonstrating a new independent side of yourself which threatens his comfortable situation with you.
Darling girl, there is no need to scream.
He is not your boyfriend and he does not love you the way you deserve to be loved.
If he disrespects you again, walk out the door.
He has not given you reason to stay.
XOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXO
BLISS
HAVE A QUESTION FOR MISS BLISS? EMAIL ME!
IF YOU LIKED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ENJOY:
ASK MISS BLISS - MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
BOYFRIENDS WHO CAN’T HANDLE BIGIRLS
ASK MISS BLISS - A TOMBOY HANDLES JEALOUSY
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, dating girls, jealousy, lovers |
ASK MISS BLISS - MARRIED TO A MAN AND IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
Written by Miss Bliss on October 30, 2007 – 10:50 am -Hi, Bliss Warrior,
I’m Bi myself. I made my fantasy a reality about a year ago. Now, I am in love with a girl and I am also married to a man. I find myself really confused about just how honest I should be with my husband. I know that the only way he would ever be “okay” with it is if he is involved. I don’t think I could do that. I wish I could find an easy answer. My husband is a pilot and he is out of town all the time. I think I would go crazy without my girlfriend. The problem is that I’m not always ready to “jump into bed” with him when he gets home. In fact, I find myself less and less sexually attracted to him. SOOOOO confusing, because I have been married to him for 12 years and I always saw myself growing old with him. My girlfriend is also Bi, but she said she would live a lesbian life with me. I can’t honestly tell you what the hell I want. I envy the fact that your proud of yourself. I wish I could figure all this out. I know there is no easy answer.
–Married & Confused
Dear Married & Confused,
Some bisexual girls believe they are not cheating on their man if they have a secret affair with a girl. I have heard girls justify cheating in many ways. One friend said, “I won’t leave him for a woman, so he has nothing to worry about.” Another rolled her eyes at me and said, “Of course any experimentation with a girl would be behind his back! He’s way too conservative and would freak if he found out I was into girls.” I had one girl friend say, “But he’d want to join in and that would disrupt the goddess energy I am seeking!”
Lonely, searching, wondering bigirls…. I know some of you are seeking new physical, sensational and emotional pleasures with the opposite sex and are currently in relationships with men. But let this letter be a warning to you that love affairs with women can end just as messily as love affairs with men. Our married and confused example believed that having a girlfriend would simplify her life–while her man was out working, she could play with her girlfriend. But then fate intervened and disrupted her simple plan and she fell in love.
To think that being bisexual means that you can have a love relationship with one gender and a “strictly” sexual relationship with the other gender is naive and sexist. An affair with a woman can lead to love, which can ultimately lead to divorce, and even a new life in a bigirl-bigirl relationship. If you have children, it is especially important that you realize that cheating with a woman is just as much of a threat to your family as cheating with a man.
Married bigirls and bigirls in relationships can have girlfriends without their man’s participation, but ONLY if their men know about it and approve of it. Bliss Warrior is dedicated to ethical, healthy, and honest relating, and I will never condone lying or cheating in relationships. If you are too afraid to be honest with your man about your desires, you may need couples’ therapy, individual therapy, or a new relationship. Cheating is a sign of other problems within the primary relationship and will not solve anything in the long term.
1. ASK YOUR PARTNER IF IT’S CHEATING
If you catch yourself justifying lying or doing things behind your partner’s back, take a moment to ask yourself, “Would my partner call this cheating?” If the answer is yes, you are. End of story.
2. IF YOU ARE HAVING SEX BEHIND YOUR PARTNER’S BACK,
THE RELATIONSHIP NEEDS SERIOUS HELP
Be good to yourself and get some therapy. If you are truly bi, treat your primary relationship with respect until you can find a way to be the bigirl you want to be in the relationship. If you cannot, it is time to get professional help or take steps to leave the relationship.
3. TREAT YOUR PARTNER THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED
In the end, the energy we put out into the universe comes back to us. If you are acting in love and truth, your partner will treat you the same. Don’t bring hurt, insecurity and extra drama into your life unnecessarily. Understand your partner and help your partner to grow, so your partner can understand you and help you to be the person you want to be.
4. MARRIED GIRLS CAN HAVE HEALTHY, EQUITABLE, HONEST “AFFAIRS” WITH GIRLS
The difference between men and women is that some men really enjoy “good jealousy”. Some men enjoy their partners having flings with other girls, or even other men, because it makes them feel the need to “reclaim” their woman sexually. A known affair can really turn your man on and make him devour you like never before. But the only way to discover if this can work for your relationship, is to talk to your man about it.
Honesty, even through difficult conversations, will bring you and your partner closer together. And that’s what it’s all about in the end, isn’t it?
XOXOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY LIKE…
THREE TYPES OF OPEN RELATIONSHIPS FOR BIGIRLS AND THEIR PARTNERS
THE HETEROSEXUAL CLOAKING DEVICE
Hello, to all my beautiful readers!
So sorry life and “real” work took over and I haven’t been able to post…
Bliss Warrior is back in the saddle and more blogs are coming tomorrow…
A BRUNCH IS BEING ORGANIZED IN SAN DIEGO…
I HAVE 4 GIRLS SO FAR…
DO YOU WANT TO JOIN US?
STILL SEEKING GIRLS IN DETROIT,
MAUI,
AND
CLEVELAND
FOR BRUNCHES AND FRIENDSHIP!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!
keywords: bisexuality, dating, cheating, marriage, relationships, bisexual girls
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