DATING DAPHNE – MY FIRST DATE WITH A GIRL SADO-MASOCIST
Written by Miss Bliss on July 23, 2008 – 8:02 am -Dearest Readers,
Many of you are familiar with Bliss Warrior’s fabulously naughty guest blogger, Daphne. I am pleased to present her new serialized blog series, Dating Daphne. Daphne will cover the crazy exploits of the NYC Internet Dating scene and share her adventures as she dates girls and boys, searching for that perfect connection. Enjoy, and Hotel Bliss members make sure to visit Daphne in her hotel room by CLICKING HERE.
XOXOXOXOOX
BLISS WARRIOR
DATING DAPHNE - post one
I had always wanted to date a girl but didn’t attempt to do so until my early thirties. The Internet seemed an easy and safe way to meet someone. So, I changed my search and began searching for women on the site where I previously searched for men.
The first woman I met was a beautiful half-Asian from Vegas named Xandra. She had a way with words, was smart as a whip, and we had chemistry on the Internet which seemed a good start. We exchanged a few e-mails and decided to meet at a coffee shop.
When she walked into the coffee shop, I thought she was attractive though I wasn’t blown away. It’s lucky I recognized her at all because I wouldn’t have recognized her from the one picture posted on her page. She was pretty, had a nice body and good face, but wasn’t calling attention to herself, as she had been in her pictures online. In the picture from the Internet, she had a wig on, and a lot of makeup. When we met, she had short hair and very little makeup on.
She was lovely and charming, making me feel at ease immediately. We ordered coffee and some food, and settled in for talking. We talked about everything. She had a boyfriend with whom she had an open relationship. She described her life as The Story of O. I got the feeling she thought she was better than anyone who didn’t live life as she did; meaning in a sexual state full of sado masochistic highs. She was heavily into bondage, as well. I got the distinct feeling that she felt that those who didn’t live life in a 24/7 servitude type relationship, were at a disadvantage on the path to enlightenment.
Nevertheless, I was attracted to her. She told me she grew up in the city of sin. Her job sounded boring while her life was full of intrigue.
“I like your biceps, they are very sexy,” she told me. I was melting already.
She told me that she had been seeing a married woman for sometime. “Her husband is fine with it though.” I had a hard time imagining that but I was new to all this. Xandra said that she dated women alone and sometimes she and her boyfriend dated people together. He also dated couples by himself. I was fascinated.
“What’s your experience with women, Daphne?” she asked.
“I’ve never been out with a woman,” I replied.
“Never?”
“No, I wanted to. It just never happened.” I said.
“I was with one when I was a teenager,” Xandra told me.
“I fantasized about them since before I can remember,” I told her. “It’s just that the situation never presented itself.”
We talked about her experiences for a long time. She had been with her boyfriend for a good while, and though they were in a committed relationship, she dated women, and he saw couples. Sometimes they played together. It sounded strange to me, but I didn’t care. I was smitten.
We finished our talk, she walked with me for a few minutes, and she mentioned a women’s party on Sunday nights that she thought I should go to. I thought things were going great, after all, we had just spent three hours talking. I assumed we would soon be scheduling our next date.
But she said, “Daphne, you’re just not bi enough. You’re not into women enough.”
“What?”
“You’ve never been with one. Maybe be with a couple first. See if you can handle that. But certainly you can’t handle a woman alone.” And off she walked.
When she left, I was shocked. I was sure that we would go out again. It wasn’t so much a feeling of rejection, though certainly that played into it, but more like, what the hell? I could not believe that she would play with me like that! Why did she spend three hours flirting with me, if she had no intention of seeing me again? Was I a toy? A lab experiment? I knew that the next time I went out with a woman, I would be much more assertive, and if I was attracted to her, let her know right from the start, that I was not afraid of being with her, even though I was new to dating girls.
I found out sometime later that good friends of mine that date couples went out with Xandra and her boyfriend. It was easy to figure out because when Jenya described the date and the girl, I knew immediately. “Was her name Xandra? I asked. “Yes, how did you know!” Jenya replied. “I just did.” I said. Jenya said that Xandra was into being branded and that though she was incredibly smart and beautiful, something was off. Her boyfriend seemed to be forcing her to do things she wasn’t into. Such as kissing Jenya’s boyfriend. And just as I had, Jenya got the feeling that Xandra thought she was better than others.
The other day I decided to look on the dating site and see if Xandra was still there. Indeed, she is. Beautiful as ever. She’s changed her screen name but besides that, everything else in her profile is the same. Some things never change.
XOXOXO
DAPHNE
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ENJOY DAPHNE’S DATING TALES? CHECK OUT SOME OF HER OTHER BLOGS:
PLAYING WITH GENDER: DAPHNE STRAPS IT ON FOR HER MAN
TIE ME UP, TIE ME DOWN: A BI-GIRL SHARES HER FIRST S&M EXPERIENCE
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CURIOUS ABOUT BLISS WARRIOR’S OTHER GUEST BLOGGERS?
FROM GUEST BLOGGER V.:
AND THEN THERE WERE TWO - A SERIALIZED TRUE STORY OF A GIRL, HER MAN, AND THE LOVER HE INTRODUCED HER TO: CHAPTER ONE, CHAPTER TWO, and CHAPTER THREE - “A LITTLE PATIENCE FOR SPANKING THE INTELLECT”
FROM GUEST BLOGGER JUNGLE JANE:
SHE DANCED INTO MY FAIRYTALE - A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER FIRST TIME - PART ONE, PART TWO
CRUSHING ON THE TAKEN GIRL: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A GIRL’S FIRST VIBRATOR: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
GETTING HER NUMBER: A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, GUEST BLOGS, RELATIONSHIPS, Uncategorized, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, daphne, dating, dating girls, flirting, lovers, meeting girls, online dating, open relationships |
ASK MISS BLISS - HOW DO I KNOW IF A GIRL LIKES ME?
Written by Miss Bliss on July 9, 2008 – 9:33 am -Dear Miss Bliss,
I have known I was bisexual since I was 9 years old and realized I had a crush on my best friend. I am now 22 and really want to have my first experience with a girl, but I just don’t know how to make it happen. If a girl was interested in me, how would I know? What are the signs that a girl likes you? I know when a man wants me, but can never tell when a girl does. And, if a girl does like me, how do I take it to the next level?
Thanks,
Needing Help With Girls
Dear Needing Help,
Last week I was in New York, lunching with the stunning and smart, guest blogger, V., and we were just talking about this. Her long, blonde curls draped around her slim shoulders as she said, “I don’t get these girls who are never hit on by women. I don’t do anything and girls come on to me all the time.”
“Well, you are (1) incredibly gorgeous,” I say, “and (2) you only hang with lesbians.”
“That’s true,” she says with a deep, sexy laugh. “I guess that would make the odds of girls hitting on me a bit higher than the average girl.”
“I think it’s hard for some girls to find female lovers because they aren’t comfortable being the aggressor in the relationship. Many bi-girls are used to men making the moves and feel incredibly awkward hitting on another girl. I think once they have dated one girl, it becomes much easier to find other lovers.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“For some, it’s just knowing that they can find a girl they like and this gives them confidence to find other lovers or girlfriends. For others, they can ‘read’ girls better after having had a successful connection. Once they were with a girl, it’s like they can suddenly see the vibes bi-girls give off and instinctively know who is approachable.”
“It’s sad that it’s so hard for so many girls to find lovers.”
“Well, that’s why we write, love. To share some of the secrets that we’ve learned to help those sweet curious bi-girls.”
WAYS TO FIND THAT FEMALE LOVER
1. THROW A PARTY AND SEE WHO LINGERS AT THE END OF THE NIGHT
My fabulous blue-eyed, blonde vixen friend, Nikita is in a relationship and has no trouble finding girls to bring into their thing. She swears that one of the best ways to figure out who is interested in her and her man is to throw a party. “I always make sure my friends know I am bi. I don’t hide it. So, I’ve noticed that whenever I throw a party, if a girl is interested in us, she will hang out until the very end, when everyone else has left. Sometimes, we are shocked because it’s the straightest-seeming girl who’s game at the end of the night! If she wants one more drink after everyone else has gone, you can pretty much bet she’s asking you to seduce her.”
2. INVITE CUTE GIRLS OVER FOR A SWIM
Another beautiful brunette bi friend of mine says her swimming pool does all of the seducing for her. “When I am into a girl, I invite her over to my place. After a drink or two, I smile at her and say, ‘Want to go for a swim?’ Naturally, she says, ‘I would, but I don’t have a swim suit.’ That’s when I say, ‘Why do you need a suit? I’m not wearing one.’ Once we’re in the pool, she’s all mine!”
3. IF YOU AREN’T AFRAID OF REJECTION, MAKE THE FIRST MOVE AT A BAR
A couple of years ago, I met a bi-girl who was studying to get her M.A. in Education. Sporting long, muscular legs and a sweet light brown bob, she says it’s easy to find bi lovers – as long as you don’t mind rejection. “I just go up to cute girls in bars and tell them I think they are beautiful. If that doesn’t scare them, I order us both drinks, chat awhile, then ask her straight up if she’d like to go home with me. Once I got over the fear that I might be turned down, I was shocked by how many girls said, yes.”
4. PLACE SOME SEXY GIRL-GIRL PICTURES IN KEY PLACES IN YOUR APARTMENT
A couple of hot girl-girl pictures or pictures of pin-ups placed in your bedroom, or the bathroom, can give girls the signal that you are open to being approached. Let them figure out your sexuality through your art and see if they don’t end up lingering later, waiting for you to kiss them.
5. ALCOHOL CAN STILL HELP YOU WITH CONFIDENCE ISSUES
Many first kisses and sexual experiences happen with the assistance of alcohol. A few good drinks can knock out inhibitions and help you feel more confident. But be careful not to overindulge. It would be horrible to finally find a female lover only to end up sick in the bathroom most of the night.
6. WATCH SEXY MOVIES LIKE GIA, THE HUNGER, ETC.
Invite a friend you have a crush on to watch a movie with you that has some hot girl-girl scenes. Gia is a great one, because Angelina Jolie is stunningly naked throughout the movie, and the sex scenes are truly hot. (For other hot Sapphic films, CLICK HERE) See how your friend reacts. If she gets really, really quiet, know that she may be really, really turned on. If she doesn’t like it, I am sure she will let you know. Either way, it will help you gauge if there is connection there.
7. POST AN AD ON CRAIGSLIST
I still highly recommend posting on Craigslist. For one, it gives you an opportunity to describe exactly what you are seeking and why. Second, it allows you a chance to get to know a potential lover through e-mail before meeting. And, three, no matter what you might think, bi-girls read CL and do answer ads. CL has brought so many magical bi-girls into my life that I will always recommend it.
8. LOOK FOR KEY SIGNS: EYE CONTACT, TOUCHING YOU, WANTING TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU, JOKING ABOUT HOOKING UP
Remember that girls are not used to being the aggressors in relationships. They will give you signals letting you know they want you to flirt with them. Watch for direct eye contact or little touches from her. Is she touching you a lot? Chances are, she wants you to touch her more. When you go out and it’s time to go home, does she try to make plans with you for the next day? If she wants to see you 2 or more days in a row, she’s probably interested, too. And, finally, if she jokes about you two kissing or hooking up, she’s also testing the waters. Take a joke as a sign that she is interested, and wants you to confirm that you are attracted to her, as well.
9. REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF AND THE RIGHT GIRL WILL FIND YOU
It’s simple advice, but the most important in the end. The more you love yourself, the sexier you will be and the more likely she will find you.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:
ASK MISS BLISS - WHY WON’T SHE MEET ME FOR A DATE?
ASK MISS BLISS - A GIRL’S FIRST THREESOME
ASK MISS BLISS - THE ART OF FLIRTATION
ASK MISS BLISS - HE DOESN’T BELIEVE I’M COMMITTED
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GOT A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM.
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Posted in BISEXUALITY, RELATIONSHIPS, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, dating girls, love affairs, lovers, meeting girls, online dating, the first time |
ASK MISS BLISS - WHY WON’T SHE MEET ME FOR A DATE?
Written by Miss Bliss on February 28, 2008 – 4:30 pm -Dear Miss Bliss,
I met this girl on Craigslist. She responded to my ad and said she was a lot of fun. I picked her out of a bunch of replies, not only because she was attractive but seemed the most sane! I’ve never done this before, and had no idea how it worked.
We started e-mailing back and forth, and eventually were messaging each other. She lives with her boyfriend, and I have a boyfriend too, and we were both looking for the same thing.
Everything seemed to be great, and I was really excited to meet her, but a month went by and she still hadn’t made a date. I made vague comments like, “Let’s meet sometime soon,” to encourage dialogue but she made it really awkward.
Now, I’m in a weird space — should I try to meet her, or is she over it? I asked her if she had changed her mind, and she replied, “No, have you?”
I finally texted her after not talking to her for a few weeks to try and meet for drinks,
and didn’t get a response. What should I do now? Just leave her alone?
Thanks for the advice.
Love,
Confused.
Dear Confused,
First of all, congratulations for posting an ad on Craigslist and meeting another cool, fun, attractive bi-girl. I am always delighted to hear that bi-girls are finding each other through the Internet.
There are many reasons why she has not yet met you in person. Girls are generally chased by male attention. When two girls try to date, the girls are not always sure how to chase the other one without seeming “creepy” or “too much”. I personally believe, the LESS you go after the girl, the more likely she will find you interesting and come to you. Now, many friends hate when I say this and often replay, “I don’t want to play games! I want to be honest. If I like a girl, I’m going to tell her and hope she’ll like me, too.” Darling Confused Reader, the following tips are not “game playing” they are simply - in my humble opinion - the rules of the girl dating game.
Everyone wants to feel like they found a partner or a lover that is a little bit “out of their league”. A girl wants to feel like she had to work a little to get this person to notice and like her. So, dear girl, let this attractive girl work a little bit to get your attention, since you’ve already worked hard enough to get hers.
1. GIRLS WITH BOYFRIENDS HAVE BUSY LIVES
Bi-girls with primary partners are very busy and are already juggling work, family, friendships, and their love life. So if she does not write you back or text you back right away, she may just be busy. Wait. Be Patient. Let her know that you have a busy, full, exciting life, too. When she writes you back eventually you can wait a little to reply or write her back immediately. I suggest waiting and see how fast she writes you back the next time.
2. THE LESS YOU PUSH HER TO MEET, THE MORE SHE’LL WANT TO
It isn’t rocket science, but it is human behavior. The less you push for a meeting, the more she will. Often, when my bi-girl friends are flirting with a girl online and don’t push to meet, the other girl begins pushing for a date. They say, “Wait, I’m enjoying getting to know you,” and the friendship and trust grow, while the other girl’s desire increases, as well.
3. IF YOU ARE TOO EAGER, SHE MAY THINK YOU’RE NEEDY
All girls are worried that their female lover will be “crazy” or “needy” or “too codependent”. Because they have not had experience with sane, cool, fun bi-girls, they will be nervously searching for signs of needy behavior. Be relaxed and chill and enjoy flirting with the girl without pushing to meet. She will find you sexy, and her fears of your “innate female craziness” will lessen.
4. FOCUS ON THE FRIENDSHIP FIRST, AND SHE’LL WANT TO MEET YOU
I always stress to my bi-curious friends, develop the friendship first. The best relationships are built on trust, so build trust through e-mailing first. Once a friendship is built, no girl will want to go without meeting her new, wonderful friend in person.
5. KEEP FLIRTING WITH GIRLS UNTIL THE RIGHT ONE WANTS YOU
Until you go on a date with that perfect lover, keep posting on Craigslist and develop many flirtations. You never know, while you wait to meet your ideal girl lover you just might make a great group of bi-girl friends in the process.
6. DEVELOP THE ONLINE FRIENDSHIP AND HOLD OFF MEETING IN PERSON
Since she didn’t return your last text, I would not contact her until she contacts you or until a month or so has gone by. You do not want to seem needy or psycho, so relax, go back to your Craigslist posting, and start meeting other girls. You have found one potential, but their may be a better fit for you out there. In a month, send your girl an e-mail just checking in with her. I bet she will be happy to hear from you!
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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HAVE A QUESTION FOR ASK MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT bliss@blisswarrior.com.
Posted in ASK MISS BLISS, RELATIONSHIPS, boyfriends, dating, dating girls, flirting, online dating |