DESPERATE AT 30 WEEKS - AN EXCERPT FROM MY MISERABLE, LONELY, LESBIAN PREGNANCY
Written by Miss Bliss on May 21, 2008 – 10:25 am -Dearest Readers, I introduced you to my marvelously funny and talented friend, Andrea Askowitz, in my blog, Sharing the Same Sperm: A Love Story. This month Cleis Press is releasing her hysterical and poignant memoir, My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, and I am proud to share an excerpt of her book with you.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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Desperate at 30 Weeks
An Excerpt from My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy (Cleis Press)
by Andrea Askowitz
I was thirty weeks pregnant, which is seven and a half months. I was big when I got this new, yet vaguely familiar feeling. I got pregnant alone, using an anonymous sperm donor and had spent the first 7 and a half months of my pregnancy feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have a partner. I didn’t have anyone to have sex with either, but I was too depressed to care.
WEEK 30, DAY 2
“I’m finding it difficult to get laid,” I say.
Ravi, my friend who has had more sex than anyone I know, says, “Oh, you’re back.”
I say, “I’m back more than ever.”
“Plenty of people would want to have sex with you,” he says, “especially when you’re pregnant.”
“Who?”
WEEK 30, DAY 3
My downstairs neighbor at work, who’s a professional photographer, asks me to pose for a book he’s doing on pregnant women. He shows me his pictures, which are stunning and unique, just bellies mostly.
He and his assistant set up lights in my office. He is confident as he snaps my picture. He tells me how to stand or turn. He talks about how beautiful pregnant women are, how beautiful I am. I take off my clothes.
I have known him for more than a year and always thought he was a friendly guy. He is very good-looking: black with light skin and big dark eyes and long eyelashes. He has a straight nose and full lips with perfect white teeth. His head is shaved, which makes him look more like a boy than a man. He is only 26.
He chats a little but never stops shooting. I tell him pregnancy is hard. He nods. I start to think he’s sexy.
“Who takes care of you?” he says.
“I do.”
“Who rubs you down?”
“No one.”
He puts his camera down and says, “Don’t be shy to call me.”
I go home and call Ravi. “I’m going to have sex,” I say.
“With who?”
“The photographer man at my office.”
“Uh, you’re a lesbian.”
“That doesn’t mean I can’t have sex with a man. What should I make him for dinner?”
Ravi suggests pasta primavera. “And don’t forget to play the CD.”
Several months ago, when Ravi was Internet dating, he gave me his secret weapon in case I ever needed to use it. “This CD is too potent to name,” he said. “By the fifth song it’s guaranteed to get anybody to take his clothes off.”
WEEK 30, DAY 4
I call the photographer, and he comes over. He brings oil and lotion, for different parts of the body. He seems to know massage.
We eat dinner. I don’t think he likes the primavera. He is quiet. I think maybe he’s nervous. I ask him if he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend.
He says he only dates women, but that he’s single. “I don’t want a girlfriend. I’m focused on work.”
“But don’t you want love and sex?”
“I have two girls who give me head whenever I want.”
“Do you go down on them?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“They just do it for me to keep me out of trouble.”
“What kind of trouble?”
“You know.”
“No.”
After dinner he wants to get right to the massage. “What should I wear?” I say.
He says, “Nothing. I’ve already seen you naked.”
True, but now I’m nervous to be alone with him. I can hear my neighbors talking, so I think if he gets psycho, I’ll scream, and they’ll come in.
I put the CD on low, put on boxers and a tank top, and lie down on my side on the bed. My belly is too big to lie face down. He starts with my back, under my shirt. His touch is firm and strong. He uses lavender oil, one scent I love, even while pregnant. I am relaxing. I take off my shirt and he massages my arms, my neck, and my belly really gently. My baby is happy.
He spends a lot of time on my belly, making circles with his warm hands. I watch his hands; they are confident. His fingers are big and lean and pretty. He has very little hair on his latte-colored arms.
His circles get wider and then he runs his hands over my breasts. I am startled. My breath quickens.
I say, “That’s nice.”
He doesn’t say anything but does it again: He circles my belly and then touches my breast slowly and deliberately. One and then the other. I look at his face and find no reaction. He is staring at something on the wall. I say, “What are you thinking about?”
“Work,” he says.
“You’re thinking about work?”
“I have lots to do.”
Portishead is playing on the CD. Slow, rhythmic bass. “Is this sexy to you?” I ask.
“Do I want to have sex with you?”
“Well, that’s not what I asked, but do you?” I am breathing heavier now. I can’t help myself.
“Only if you really want me to.”
“No, I don’t,” I say. I don’t want to. This guy’s creepy. “But we could do other things.”
“Like what?” I look him up and down. His shoulders are broad, like a swimmer’s. His muscles show through his tight, white T-shirt. I look to see if he has a bulge in his jeans, but I can’t tell. He is barefoot.
“Well, why don’t you take your shirt off?”
“No, this is for you,” he says.
He then spends 45 minutes massaging my feet and legs. He takes several minutes with my toes and works his way, very slowly, over my ankles and calves. He rubs my knees and thighs and presses hard against my hip and then my butt. His hands are inside my boxers making circles on my butt the way he did my belly, and I am breathing heavy. I take off my boxers.
He lowers me onto my back, spreads my legs open and slowly kneads the inside of my thighs with both hands. He is rubbing and squeezing the soft flesh just below my groin. I arch up to receive him, but he moves his hands down. I raise my hips and he strokes me. I hear myself moan and this embarrasses me.
When he moves away I arch my back and he returns. I move my hips up and down. I am begging. Finally, he puts his fingers inside me and I move back and forth on his agile fingers. I am getting the most full-body massage I’ve ever gotten.
I ask again, “Now do you think this is sexy?”
“It’s pretty,” he says. “Your kitty is pretty.”
When the CD ends, he says, “Okay, I gotta go.” He leaves quickly.
I lie there awake, alone, thinking about being touched by anyone, even a strange black man who doesn’t want me. I take out my Pocket Rocket, which I keep in the drawer of my night table in case of emergencies, and, surrounded by the scent of lavender, make myself come before falling asleep.
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READY TO READ MORE? CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE MY MISERABLE, LONELY, LESBIAN PREGNANCY.
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WANT TO MEET ANDREA ASKOWITZ AND GET A SIGNED COPY OF HER BOOK? CLICK HERE TO SEE WHEN ANDREA WILL BE VISITING YOUR HOMETOWN.
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IF YOU ARE IN LOS ANGELES, JOIN ME AND ANDREA ON THURSDAY, MAY 29TH AT 8PM, WHEN THE MISERY LOVES COMPANY WORLD TOUR PRESENTS READINGS FROM ANDREA AND THESE QUIRKY, HILARIOUS, AND POIGNANT STORYTELLERS: JOHN FUGELSANG, SUSAN ISAACS, MAGGIE ROWE and TERRIE SILVERMAN, plus special guest dancer Michael Arbizo.
CLICK HERE for tickets. Under Upcoming Shows, click MISERY LOVES COMPANY. Hurry, only 99 seats. It will sell out fast!
ALL ATTENDEES WILL RECEIVE A FREE, SIGNED COPY OF MY MISERABLE, LONELY, LESBIAN PREGNANCY. SO GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE AND COME LAUGH! ***********************************************************************************************
Posted in RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, andrea askowitz, books, events, lesbian, los angeles, massage |
PLEASURE HIM WITH PEARLS
Written by Miss Bliss on April 8, 2008 – 1:22 pm - DEAREST READERS -
LAST MONTH I PUBLISHED A POST ON HOW TO PLEASURE YOUR FEMALE LOVER WITH PEARLS. (CLICK HERE TO READ PLEASURE HER WITH PEARLS.) SELENA KITT, ONE OF THE AMAZING CONTRIBUTERS TO THE BLOG, FELLATRIX, WROTE THIS INTENSELY SEXY POST, COCK AND PEARLS TO ENSURE THE BOYS WERE NOT BEING LEFT OUT. I HOPE YOU ENJOY. XOXOXOXOXO BLISS WARRIOR
COCK AND PEARLS
by Selena Kitt
I love pearls. I have a jewelry box devoted entirely to pearls. The bottom is lined with thick, black velvet boxes that contain the really good sets - the ones handed down from my grandmother, or the ones given to me by a lover. Those I reserve for special occasions. But on top of that is a tangled mass of strands, all different colors, white, black, pale pink, silver, gold, all waiting to be taken out and played with because yes - these are my “play” pearls. I don’t know what it is about a strand of pearls hanging low between my breasts, but whatever it is, I definitely like the reaction I get when I put them on. And I don’t know a woman who doesn’t feel just a little bit more feminine and sexy with pearls sliding over her skin.
I saw Bliss Girl did a blog post recently that talked about pleasuring your lover with pearls, and because I’m a pearl girl, I had to check it out. There were some fantastic ideas listed, including tying your lover up with pearls (of course, it has to be more “pretend” than “real” bondage, unless you both want to end up tripping on pearlescent beads like a couple of Warner Brothers cartoons!) She even talked about penetrating a woman with pearls, which was a rather sexy thought, but then the post ended and I thought, “Hey! Wait a minute! You forgot something!” Or more to the point - someone. This bi-girl had focused on the female, but the masculine had been completely missed!
And you know me… we just can’t have that!
What happened to the combination of pearls and cock? Because that, folks, is a marriage made in pleasure heaven, and Mr. Kitt can attest to it firsthand! Well, he could, if he were here… but I guess since he’s not, you’ll have to hear it secondhand, from the perspective of the giver rather than the receiver. But in order to post here on the Fellatrices blog about it, I thought I’d better do a little bit more research and practice, just to be sure I had the techniques down so I could relay them to you.
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF THE POST AND LEARN HOW TO PLEASURE HIM WITH PEARLS.
Posted in BISEXUALITY, FASHION, GUEST BLOGS, SEX, bi-girls, bisexual, hand job, massage, pearls, selena kitt |
PLEASURE HER WITH PEARLS
Written by Miss Bliss on March 6, 2008 – 11:11 am -Pearls. Layers and layers of pearls. Wrapped around your neck, draped down your body, and dangling from your wrists - pearls can accent any lingerie look. Classic, sexy, and timeless, a girl can never wear enough pearls. What you may not know, however, is that pearls can also double as a tool to pleasure, tease and torment your lover.
1. TEASE HER BACK WITH YOUR PEARLS
The next time you are planning a romantic evening with your man, your girl or both, drape yourself in long, multiple strands of pearls. After you have slowly, delicately, romantically removed your lover’s clothes, have her lie on her stomach on your bed. Massage her shoulders lightly, helping her to relax. Let the bottom of your pearls touch the top of her spine, and as you go down her body, massaging her with your hands, let the pearls dance up and down her spine. If you have long hair, let your hair also drape down onto her back. The sensation of pearls and hair dancing on her skin will wake up her senses while gently teasing her. Soon, she will begin to move, arch, moan and demand a deeper touch.
2. PEARLS CAN BE A MARVELOUSLY STIMULATING BETWEEN HER LEGS
After you’ve teased her back and she’s asked between breaths for more, let the pearls drop down the crevice of her marvelous backside. With your left hand, reach under her and hook your thumb in the loop of your pearls. Now the pearls are looped around your neck, draped between her legs, and neatly secured at the front of her most delicious places with your left thumb. Start slowly moving the pearls between her legs - up and down, and side to side. Soon, she will start moving against the pearls herself and you will need to make sure the tension remains right. Use your right hand to secure the top of the pearls (and to avoid choking yourself) while using the left to move them faster or slower, until your lover cries for a deeper touch.
3. TIE HER UP IN PEARLS
Obviously, pearls are not as strong as rope, and can easily break. So go out to your local cheap jewelry junk shop and buy lots of cheap pearl necklaces. If your lover is up for some make believe play, and promises not to struggle too much, you can wrap up her hands in pearls and “pretend” she cannot move. Any girl looks amazing tied up in pearls - so if she is a role player - this might make for some amazing imaginative teasing and sexual play.
4. PENETRATE HER WITH PEARLS
After you’ve teased and tormented her, you can insert pearls vaginally or anally. Pushing them in slowly one or two beads at a time will drive her mad. But the real thrill is when almost the entire strand of beads is inside her. Get her close to coming by playing with her clit and when she is right about to come, pull the beads out of her. Watch her delight as she comes with pearls pouring out of her. (Make sure to use a good, strong antibacterial cleaner on the pearls before she comes over, just to be safe.)
Don’t forget to plan ahead and buy a few extra strands for your lover. After you have made her shake and shimmy, let her have the delight of teasing and tormenting you with her jewels.
XOXOXOXOXO
BLISS WARRIOR
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IF YOU ENJOYED THIS BLOG, YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY READING:
STRAP-ON SOME ETIQUETTE
HOW MANY WAYS CAN YOU CLIMAX?
MY FIVE FAVORITE SEX TOYS
NEED A LITTLE LUBRICATION?
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TOMORROW - FRIDAY NIGHT BEDTIME STORIES RETURN!!!
NEED A LITTLE EROTIC FICTION TO HELP YOU SLEEP?
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HAVE A QUESTION FOR MISS BLISS? E-MAIL ME AT BLISS@BLISSWARRIOR.COM
Posted in BISEXUALITY, FASHION, SEX, Uncategorized, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, dating girls, jewelry, lovers, massage, sex toys, undressing girls |
A BABY BI-GIRL SHARES HER STORY
Written by Jungle Jane on February 13, 2008 – 3:57 pm -DEAREST READERS,
I AM PROUD TO PUBLISH THE FIRST BLOG BY A GUEST BLOGGER, JUNGLE JANE. SHE IS A BABY BI-GIRL AND READY TO SHARE HER JOURNEY WITH YOU. I HOPE YOU ENJOY.
XOXOXOOXXO
BLISS WARRIOR
I’m writing this blog for those bisexual readers that have yet to make love to a woman, but dream of the day. I’ve noticed there are quite a few of us baby bi-girls reading Bliss Warrior that are new in figuring out our complex sexualities. If you are anything like me, you are thoroughly enjoying the learning curve. Especially those sharp turns like becoming the bi-girl you want to meet. Meet being the key word.
Maybe, like myself, you are in love with a man that supports your courageous decision to live life openly. I am enjoying this new freeness and openness with my man. It has brought our relationship to a new level of intensity and desire. I fully enjoy admiring women with him and sharing our fantasies. Honesty is extremely sexy. It turns me on like crazy.
Maybe you’re single and looking for that lover wherever the universe is leading you to finding her or him or both. There is no one type of bi-girl. Wherever you’re at in life, your bisexuality should be exciting and empowering and radiate off of your soft glowing skin at home and in public. I am radiating myself and feel compelled to share this journey with all you dynamic bliss warriors.
I have the BW blog to thank for my coming out. I do not mind a bit telling my friends the truth anymore. It’s like my new magic power. I say things that make both sexes blush and come out of their shells. I was never a big fan of small talk!
I will use this blog to give you a little background in growing up loving girls, because that’s always fun and insightful. Talking and hearing about our childhood girlfriends is sweet and reminds us all of how innocent and pure love really is.
I believe if I ever were such a thing as bi-curious it started at a very young age and I grew into bisexuality. I think adding the word curious to the title is unnecessary. We are all inherently curious. I believe even the straight girls are bi “curious”. That’s just me, feel free to disagree. I may not have ever “been” with a girl sexually, but I know that I’m attracted to women and always will be. When I speak about my bi virginity, I am speaking about it from the adult perspective. I had plenty of action as a young girl, but none as an adult.
I will write about the now: the flirting, the fantasies, and the realities (which can sometimes be irritating). I’ll let you in on all the details of my pursuit of losing my bisexual virginity! I’ll be blogging about my search for a lover that fits like a puzzle piece. A lover that will be as comfortable with me and my man as he and I are together. A girl that wants me to write to her, about her. So that she can have it to read over and over whenever she needs to hear it. A girl that gives back and doesn’t shy away from the truth no matter what it may be.
I want sexy in whatever form it takes! Sexiness comes when you OWN IT! I look for girls who don’t really give care about what you may or may not be thinking about them. They’re simply hot and they know it. I love clever, charming, funny women that laugh loud and often. I love women who love women. That’s why I want to share in the BW community because you all know what I’m talking about. Can I get an amen?
…………………………
It must have all started when I was five. Sounds about right. Her last name was Ham. She used to chase me around the sitter’s house trying to “teach me how to french kiss”. I let her a few times. Gave her some freebies, but she wasn’t my type. She pissed me off mostly. She may have been my first kiss, but I can’t really remember. I do know that I got a lot of action when I was five.
My best friend was Emily. I never kissed her. She was my innocent, fragile friend that I handled with care. She was very churchy. Even more so than I was at that age which was tough to be. Jesus was my boy! Emily was my girl, but I played too rough for her. We had some fun times, but third grade came along and changed it all. We started at the elementary school across town: new playground, new places to hide and seek, new teachers, and new best friends.
That was when Leah came into my life.
Leah had a best friend, too, named Deedee. Deedee and Leah kicked it like Emily and I. They had a bond, an agreement and were “best friends”. Being “best friends” at that age meant something — something sacred.
Shortly after meeting, Leah and I started passing notes, telling secrets, talking on the phone, walking to each other’s house after school, and walking to school together. And, we knew what it meant. It meant that Leah and I had become best friends. In order to carry on properly, it was only fair for us to tell Emily and Deedee what was going on. We talked about it, planned it out, wrote our notes, and handed them off to our soon to be ex-best friends.
It was on! She lived a couple blocks from me. We were crazy bike riders and spent days and nights together. Doing homework, fighting with her brother and his friends, playing nintendo, and feeling up our bodies and all the changes they were going through as the years went by. We called our new pubic hair, peach fuzz. We called our new boobies, mosquito bites. Those mosquito bites seem to grow overnight in the puberty years. We would give each other massages as a way to touch each other’s new breasts. I’ll never forget it and it still turns me on.
Once upon a time, on Leah’s mother’s bed, Leah and I exchanged massages. Leah got the first massage. I put lotion all over her back and started rubbing out two circles over her shoulder blades while my thumbs slipped up her spine. Admiring her body and melting in my panties, my face was red and she was smiling. I started moving my hand under her arms. Inching my way towards her little breasts, not believing that I was actually going for it — and, unexpectedly, she cut me off.
“Your turn!” she said. I wasn’t really done, but I knew she wasn’t ending it so I smiled big and flopped down in front of her. On my stomach still, because we were “giving massages”, she squirted the lotion all over my back and began to rub me down. She glided her lotion soaked hands right under my arms. She got me nice and slippery and then slipped her hands further down and over my nipples as I rose up off the bed to give her room. She massaged my breasts and squeezed my nipples. She brought her hands back up to my back and asked me how it felt. I said, “It tickled,” and she reached down immediately to grab them again. I lifted up again and my ass pushed into her lap and I could feel her warmth from behind. Mmmmm… Leah was in control, making my shy self incredibly comfortable.
Our relationship was rocky though because she had another friend that she spent a lot of time with. I was so jealous of that girl. The last time she and I hooked up came in 7th grade at the movie theater. Leah and I had joked about having a real date. Going to the movies…together…as a couple. I think we even told our mothers that was what we were doing, but they just thought we were being silly like usual. But no. We sat in the back, held hands, rubbed each others arms, until we couldn’t hold it anymore and we turned to each other and kissed. Stopped, looked at each other, then french kissed like mad. Grabbing each other’s hair, breasts, face. We were both a little advanced in our kissing and making out. Then she startled me. She got out of her seat and crouched down in front of me and spread my legs apart and unzipped my jeans and ran her hands down my chest and into my unzipped jeans and then……….I freaked a little. I think it was the reality of being in a theater that did it for me. I wanted her so bad, but I chickened out. I made her stop. She said she understood and we finished out the movie holding hands both unsatisfied. I think it pissed her off a little. We were never the same. That was my last experience with a girl sadly enough. I’ve had plenty of crushes, but never any action.
I think these type of experiences mean something. A LOT of little girls have these type of experiences.
Have you had similar experiences?
Do you feel those experiences were your first bisexual ones?
I remember it all as the beginning. I feel that sex with a woman does not make you bisexual, the desire to be with a woman does.
Until the next time, I will still be searching for the girl who is the one.
xoxoxox
JUNGLE JANE
Posted in BISEXUALITY, GUEST BLOGS, RELATIONSHIPS, SEX, baby bi-girls, bi-girls, bisexual, bisexual girls, coming out, jungle jane, kissing, massage, meeting girls, the first time, undressing girls |