Hello Bliss,

I just finished reading your blog “When straight friends find out”. I have been best friends with someone for a few months. We are so much alike, it’s freaky. I kind of knew she was bi or bi-curious because she said things and was kind of giving me hints that she was. So, I finally came out and told her that I was a couple of days ago. So anyway, she tells me “I knew you were but I didn’t want to push it”.
So then she tells me she was bi also, and had a couple of experiences in college. LOL! It was so funny because neither of us had the courage to tell eachother that we were bi until then. Anyway, we talked it all out, and I told her about my experiences also. I am so glad that I finally told her and she finally told me.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Oh my Miss Bliss…how did you know there was a such a huge and lovely audience out there waiting for you? The responses on this blog moved me!

I believe all women have a little “bi” in them. I believe most little girls are curious with their little girlfriends, ahem, and boyfriends. It is NATURAL and cute. I know the feeling of shame when you get older and really think about all those innocent/explicit sexual interactions in our very young years.
I thought I had lost my virginity by the time i was five. I used to think…”i feel like i’ve been molested, but by my own initiative”. I also remember one day in dance class, in my little leotard thinking “oh god, I’m pregnant!”….my bladder was full. I went to the bathroom and came back to discover “wow! where did my little pooch go? Oh!” We were figuring our bodies out. Little boys don’t get as much shit about discovering their sexuality as little girls, i.e. learning to jack off. Why is that? Why are little girls suppose to be so pure and boys get be dirty. I always wanted to be a boy because of their supposed freedom, but no, I’m a woman. A beautiful, menstruating woman who loves sex just as much as or more than the next man. Oh the lucky men that get to take our sexual lead!

Miss Bliss is right about protecting your identity. There is no need in “coming out” to everyone. Some people don’t understand. And how can we blame them? It’s hard enough for us to understand. How can we love our men so much and still be attracted to women? How is that not cheating? How can i give him 100%?

Because ladies, we have 200% and more to give. Take the rude women that insult us and the friends that reject us or are “scared” of us wanting to grope them (actually they are scared of wanting to grope us) and take all those sweet little childhood memories and LEARN FROM THEM. Take those experiences and evolve into the person you want to be. We are all responsible for hurting someone in our lives as we have all been hurt by someone else. That’s life. It’s a journey. Love it and share it! And be grateful that we have just the place to share these important details of our lives in the Bliss Warrior world.
To all the beautiful women that shared their passionate responses to this blog… thank you for your honesty. Be confident.

One last thing…it seems that there are a lot of bi women who “have never been with a woman sexually”. Sexually isn’t the main point. The point is we love the nurturing, feminine charge we get from women and it is our responsibility to spread the love. You are all an inspiration!

aloha,
Michelle

In some cases a best friend of mine would get drunk and take off her top and get me to look at her breasts and wanted to know why wasn’t I attracted to her. She didn’t understand that it wasn’t about her. That if I wanted a different type of relationship with her, I would have pursued her and made it quite clear. Some people just assume it is all about them…that it would make them feel better knowing that you are attracted to them because it’s somewhat taboo to some.

My best suggestion is to make it clear that you aren’t attracted to them…that you are friends for a reason , and not for some ulterior motive. Reassure them, but also maintain your dignity in doing so. Good luck

So when I finally ” came out” (which I didn’t refer to it as such, because at the time I though that ” coming out” was strictly for gays) to my very best friend with whom I trusted everything with, I was surprised at the cold reaction I got. She felt suddenly weird around me. Maybe she thought I was trying to come onto her. To this day I am not sure. It hurt me deeply because I couldn’t really divulge all the details of that part of my life in which I was truly embracing.

An incident which I have never talked about openly with anyone , due to the sheer embarrassment and hurt really threw me for a loop….

When I was 19 years old, I was introduced to a very sensual and beautiful woman. After some time, we grew closer and our relationship blossomed. This was my first real relationship with a woman. She was a bit older than me and had a child, but I was fine with that. We went out alot and my friends enjoyed her company. She was kind of flirtatious with men, but that didn’t bother me. However, one night at a mutual friend’s house, I introduced her to my best friend whom which had issues with my sexuality.

Everything seemed fine and they seemed to hit it off great, which eased my fears. As the night wore on, things started to change, I was sitting playing cards with some friends, slowly getting tipsy off my cocktail, and I notice that my seemingly attractive best friend is sitting on my girlfriend’s lap and makes no bones about flirting with her. The others who were at the table looked from her to me…..me to her as if to say ” Aren’t you going to do something about this?” Instead I froze up, unaware of how to deal with this situation. I felt weak. All I could think about was how my best friend was more attractive than me and there was nothing I could do to stop her antics. Not only was I hurt by her actions, I was humiliated as a woman. Needless to say that neither is no longer in my life. I have had some meaningful, yet short friendships that I would have liked to progress into something more. I have reverted back into my shell of insecurity. I still feel like I won’t be accepted for the person I am and not the stereotype of what a bigiril should be. I no longer feel like a sexual and deserving being. Being open in the past with the most important people for the most part has been disastrous. I just hope one day I can be as carefree and embrace who I really am.

I just finished reading your blog “When straight friends find out”. I have been best friends with someone for a few months. We are so much alike, it’s freaky. I kind of knew she was bi or bi-curious because she said things and was kind of giving me hints that she was. So, I finally came out and told her that I was a couple of days ago. So anyway, she tells me “I knew you were but I didn’t want to push it”.
So then she tells me she was bi also, and had a couple of experiences in college. LOL! It was so funny because neither of us had the courage to tell eachother that we were bi until then. Anyway, we talked it all out, and I told her about my experiences also. I am so glad that I finally told her and she finally told me.